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Old 05-23-2008, 12:45 PM
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clep
Member
 
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Calgary, AB
Posts: 17
How to balance AA and daily life.

Hi Everyone,

My boyfriend is a recovering addict/alcoholic. He has been working his program and sober since April 1st, 2008. He went to a out patient rehab for a month. In the house he was in they teach that life an no one can get in the way of your program. We both agree but are confused about something. In the house none of the people in there have children or wives. They are single people without responsibility.

We are unsure of where a healthy boundary lies with people that have children, wives and responsibility. Does he take on daily duties with our child and our household? We are talking about t-ball with our son, getting up with our child, dishes........the emotional havoc that daily duties bring to his mind. I guess fulfilling the needs of others and not just himself. He goes to either an AA or NA meeting daily. If he is to go to t-ball he can't make a meeting every night and might only make three that week. If he is up late and can't think with his mind racing he can't get up in the morning.

We are aware that his recovery comes first but are not sure of what that healthy boundary looks like. If it looks like him not taking on daily tasks and just living for the program for as long as it takes, how long is it feasible to live like that......until he feels emotionally ready?

He relapsed yesterday by smoking half a joint he found in a tenant's room he cleaned out. He is back on track today......yayyy. :bounce Through sharing he let me know the relapse was coming when he looks back and I saw it too. He says life got in the way of the program. I am not too concerned right now with taking on the life responsibilities to allow him time to commit to his program so that is not an issue. We are just both seeking input from someone who has a family and lives the AA/NA programs. How do you balance both?

Thanks for listening.
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