My ad who is also 21 came home after detox and 30 day rehab. She wanted to go to both of them, she wanted to get clean. She had been at school and home before she went in to rehab. She made sure she had enough tools to handle coming home and trying to stay clean.
I made sure that I had enough recovery of my own to keep my hands off "her" recovery. I had many rolls of duct tape handy to make sure I kept my opinions to myself. I gave advice only when asked and used my famous line "what are your options?" She made sure she had friends who were clean to keep her away from those who weren't.
She had no contract other than if you use, you're out of here. She knew that it would happen and there would be no second chance.
She had found a boyfriend while in rehab, there was another girl who was in rehab with her. They had all made a pact that they would help each other when they got out. The other girl only contacted ad one time and then dropped from sight. The boyfriend is still around and still clean. Ad returned to work after rehab and kept herself very busy for the first week or two. I think those first 2 weeks were the hardest for her. She made plans to try and clean up her financial mess from using and has since done so. She returned to college 3 weeks ago, with her agenda to study hard, improve her GPA and stay clean.
I have stayed out of her way, have never drug tested her and since she came out of rehab have not had reason to doubt her commitment to her recovery.
I made sure she was aware of my commitment to MY recovery.
We went out to dinner to celebrate 60 days clean time. I make sure she knows I'm proud of her.
I pray every day and I am really thankful to have my daughter back.
It's not easy, but you will have my prayers that your son will make it. It's a mom thing.......