Woman contemplates her decisions during active addiction

How to Successfully Stop Playing the Blame Game


Sober Recovery Expert Author

Woman contemplates her decisions during active addiction

Now that you’re in recovery, you are faced with the blame game dilemma—a new phase where you can either accept responsibility for your entire life or keep pointing fingers at others for how things turned out.

Perhaps you blame your parents because studies have shown that addictive behaviors are genetic, but that’s still not a free pass for you to stay addicted. Maybe you blame your friends for introducing you to partying, but you were the one who decided to put substances in your body. You also made the choice to continue using so really, you have no one else to blame but yourself.

If you are in the habit of blaming others for any area of your current situation, you're likely to struggle inside and invite negativity into your life.

In the beginning of any recovery plan, an addict goes through an array of emotions like anger, resentment, pity, loneliness, helplessness, and so on. To finally get off the blame train, the person in recovery must take the following steps.

1. Become accountable

Now that you have taken the first step to recovery with admission that you have an addiction. It is time to step up and be held accountable. Ultimately, you must admit that it’s no one’s fault other than your own. This is an important step in your recovery plan, as it empowers you to make the necessary changes you need to make in your life. When you blame others, you give them that power, which can really stifle growth.

2. Tell the truth.

Tell yourself and others that you are taking full responsibility for your entire life now. You’re not blaming anyone else no matter what the past has been like. This may be difficult, but in order to grow successfully on your journey, it is a must.

3. Start a journal.

Writing down your thoughts and feelings tends to help relieve some of the negativity going on in your mind and body. Every time you have a thought or make a comment that shifts the blame of your addiction onto others, or outside influences, write them down.

Then, take a few moments to think of how you could have made that statement, or expressed that feeling without placing blame elsewhere. Write them down alongside the negative statements.

4. Practice good self-care.

Take responsibility for life by taking care of your mind, body, and spirit. Maintain good personal hygiene, start an exercise program, choose healthy eating habits, pray or meditate, and continue your counseling sessions.

Honesty is the key for you to fully move forward. Remembering that you are the individual who led you to this addiction reinforces that you have always been in control of your own life. Now that you’ve made the decision to admit that you have a problem, you’re able to drive your life towards a successful recovery.

If you or someone you know is seeking help for behavioral, alcohol or drug addiction, please visit our directory of treatment centers or call 866-606-0182 to start on the path to recovery today.

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