my addictive personality

Old 01-02-2003, 06:00 AM
  # 1 (permalink)  
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Unhappy my addictive personality

Where to start? My father is a (now sober) alcholic and my mother has bi-polor disorder....good starting genes Im sure!!
I have never abused substances or sexual relationships however I do have an addictive personality...especially with men. My relationships don't last that long, not because of any overt, strange behaviour on my part...but because I think men can sence my neediness (even though I have a successful, independant facade).
I was reading a post from someone who is recovering from alcohol abuse and who said that this man was ACTIVELY pursuing her. I feel like that guy!!!

I met a "soul mate" potential guy recently...and that rarely happens. Although, now, I can feel myself...getting....clingy. I know he can sense it too.

Im embarrassed to say that I have even been trying to guess his e-mail password so I know whats going on in his mind.

I am that psycho that everyone I have just realized. I don't want to continue making these mistakes....I constantly think about him...TOO MUCH..its not normal or healthy, I can feel that.

Is self restraint the way? Thats soooo hard. Sometimes I just feel so "abnormal"...the needy feeling is horrible..I've read every book about loving yourself...ahhh
I want go on, I think you get the picture. I just need some friends who understand and will kick me up the butt..
Thanks for listening.
Old 01-02-2003, 08:19 AM
  # 2 (permalink)  
Peacefulpie's Avatar
Join Date: May 2002
Location: toto I dont think we're in kansas anymore
Posts: 353
First off I would like to say WELCOME to the forum...

My name is Denise and I am a addict. I would like to suggest to you at this time perhaps checking into SA (sexaholics anonymous)
perhaps it may be time for you to stop reading the books and start working and living a 12 step based program... I know for me that is what has worked and saved my life through many addictions...
I truly believ that addiction is addiction no matter the form or use... and that through a 12 step fellowship we have the ability to recover from what ever the addiction may be...

I look forward to reading more from you and watching you grow.
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Old 01-02-2003, 10:54 AM
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Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: dallas,TX
Posts: 26
Welcome Bailey,

I can relate. Looking at me from the outside people think I have it all together. I am 32, single, just bought my own house blah blah blah.....I am also bi polar and have been addicted to meth. I always fall for the wrong guys too. I feel I am too needy sometimes too. But I hate static and I don't want to be that. It's important for women like us, I think, to be able to love ourselves before whe can fall in love with anyone else. That is tough sometimes, but no one will love our true selves if we don't first.

I am at the begining of a long journey towards that myself. I seem to know all the rules, I just can't follow them! So you might not want to listen to this crazy girl anyway....hee hee.

It sounds like you grew up in a whirlwind.....I'm glad your Dad is sober. Is your Mom getting the help and support she needs. I have good dallas resources if you need them. Take care and concentrate on what makes you happy!

Your co-dependent neighbor,
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Old 01-02-2003, 07:42 PM
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Join Date: Nov 2002
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Hey ya, Welcome. I guess for me I learned that "I do not own anyone"! I also learned that everyone has a right to privacy. I don't know when and how or why I changed,but I guess maybe I have always known I was a bit off and it's OK to be off, but not a weird O! I guess maybe get a book on stalking and try to do the opposet. I think too, that you maybe want to look into Alanon oly because it could teach you not to be so addicted to another person. Um, sex was always big for other people, but I just wanted love. Most people do not know how to seperate the two. I for one if you were going to a sex attic meeting, go to an all womans if ya know what I mean! LOL!!!
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