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Ear ache on day 11

Old 11-29-2002, 01:29 PM
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Unhappy Ear ache on day 11

Today is day 11 for me and I have a very bad ear infection. The doctor said that it is on the verge of breaking my ear drum and she was mad that I waited so long to go see her. Now, because my drug of choice was pain pills, I have to suffer with the pain on try and make it go away with motrin or tylenol. I guess that is the price I pay for being an addict. I know I will always be high risk when it comes to pain pills, so I hope nothing serious ever goes wrong to the point I need them. That would really suck.

I was counting the days last night because I kind of lost track for the last couple of days and couldn't believe it's been almost 2 weeks already. It seems weird, like it was just yesterday I was going through withdrawals. I don't want to do that ever again.

I hope you are all well and had a great Thanksgiving. It was really really nice being with my family yesterday and being sober. My mom and I made a great dinner and there was a lot of leftovers, so my children will be pleased to hear that they get turkey sandwiches for the next week. lol.

December is the hardest month for me to go threw. On Dec. 14 2000 my ex-boyfriend hung and killed himself from the tree in his parents front yard. Then, on Christmas morning of last year, my grandpa died in his sleep at around 4 a.m. I'm worried for my dad because this is the first aniversary of his dad's death and I hate December and pray that nothing bad happens this year. If you would, I'd appreciate any prayers from you guys as well. This is a really big concern of mine because of the past.

Thank you everyone for everything. I hope everyone is doing great.

Jessica
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Old 11-30-2002, 05:23 AM
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Dear Jessica,

Come on Darlin", lets try some happy thoughts for December. Start dwelling on some of the happy times in your life. I know how hard this is for you, as I have to dig hard too. I like to think of when my children were born. The miracle of birth and such a beautiful gift from God.

I am so sorry such tragedies surround you. at this the time of the Nativity and the true meaning of Christmas.

I had a beautiful Thanksgiving too. My husband and I spent it with my son and his family. What joy it was being with the grandchildren. Just think by getting clean and sober you have this to look forward to. I would not have had this beautiful day if it hadn't been for the fellowship of AA.

Jessica, I am like a quilt made up of all the people that shared their experience, hope and strength. When I fight depression andhard times, I can think back on how others got throught it. That is why meetings are so important.

Consider yourself hugged.

My love,

Beverly the Pickle

Pain pills....follow the directions on the bottle and let someone else have custody of them........
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Old 11-30-2002, 06:15 AM
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(((((Jessica))))))

Hi Friend...

First off I must say to you.....
12 days.....Ya Baby Ya!!!


I sure can releate to how you feel,
my son who died his birthday is christmas day,
but I so agree with Beverly....
December is a month of celebration...
look around you and see what your blessing are I am sure there are many.
i can see a few just from your post.
1. Your sober today
2. you have been given grace
3. you are loved (I love you).
and the list will grow on.....

Grief is a very natural feeling and your feelings are valid and right now you probally are feeling it BIG time, you may not realize it but your grieving a many things right now.
your grieveing drugs. you just lost your best friend of how many umptine years.....your grieving a lifestyle you no longer live, your grieving friends that you have choosen to no longer associate with. your grieving a past of hurts and huants and your likely to be very scared of an unsure future.
your feelings are beginning to surface that in the past you would numb and cover. you will be on a emotional rollercoaster. Some days if your anything like me your going to feel like your on Mr. Toads Wild Ride at Disneyland. and thats ok. just ride it out get your self to some extra meetings find your self a sponsor and a support group face to face. Remember to keep it simple friend, not to project. Keep yourself into today. and no matter what just dont pick up that first drink/drug. and I promise you although you may not feel like it... you will be ok.
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Old 11-30-2002, 02:02 PM
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Hey jess gosh just forgetting to count the days means you are getting better! I know how ears go, you are lucky to have a doctor be concered about your ears enough to yell at you. I have to have my ear drums bust and get real sick before the doctors know how sick I am! That is why I'm hearing impaired because i have suffered from ear infections all my life and there is lots of scar tissue. There are tones I can't hear. I can't wear hearing aids because my ears get infected from wearing the dam things. I'm use to pain and hate taking pills anyway, so you are not alone! Baby yourself with a heating pad and relaxation. sorry about december. It's OK to feel what you feel because what happened happened, but reach out if you feel like your going to take action with medication yourself. Your addiction uses your sorrow to get back into action! hang on and keep posting as much as you want to, say what you want, one day or even one minute the sun will break though the clouds. It might get dark and gloomy again, but the sun peaks through when you least exspect it!
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