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it's not right....

Old 02-20-2002, 09:33 AM
  # 1 (permalink)  
perks
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Angry it's not right....

hi everybody...i'm a little bumed out that i didn't check out the chat last night,acually wasn't sure what time? feeling pretty crapie today.i'm not off of the meds,but trying 2 taper off them.it's maken me feel anxious and angry and the shakes are bad.my mom is in the hospital and because i'm there everyday,she gets upset with me if i don't come exactly when she demands.i love her with all my heart,so i'm confused about whether or not i'm so upset with her because she expects so much of me(as i said,i'm there everyday 4 her)or is it cause my nerves are so bad...what's bothering me most is, i'm so mean 2 my little girls,all 3 are under 6.i've lost my patience with them,i get so upset with them when they do something wrong.don't get me wrong,i love my children,and by no means are they abused.we do spend quality time together but...i've noticed the less meds i take,the less the time together is.i can't handle anything right now,my body hurts so bad..when does it start 2 get a little easier? anyways ladies i'm finished feelin sorry 4 myself...thanks 4 listening!
 
Old 02-20-2002, 10:14 AM
  # 2 (permalink)  
Julia
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Perks,

Your in a really rough situation right now. I only have one daughter, five, and trying to detox and take care of her as well as other responsibilities would be hard on me too. I don't know about your med level, and how you are trying to taper, but if there is anyway you can get some medical advice, it will go much easier for you. If you can't go to your prescribing doctor, what about another dr.?

Good luck

Juls
 
Old 02-20-2002, 12:53 PM
  # 3 (permalink)  
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Join Date: Dec 2001
Location: Vacaville
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Perks,
Right now you are dealing with a whole lot at once. I feel ya! I am in the same place... not with detoxing but with trying to be all things to all people in my immediate family. You know what I figured out... I can't do it. So I focus on my recovery and on my daughter and on the other two children who are moving back t my area by the summer.
I have to say that if I was not working very hard to work a program, I would not have very much to offer my daughter because that is the truth. My program gives me back what I never really had in myself and gives me much, much more to offer my child.
I agree with Julia. Find a physician that you can talk to about your problem. That is essential for your recovery.
I wanted to talk to you about your pain, too. I think that the reason it is so excruciating for you is because the meds have made you so numb for so long. before the perks, you would probably have experienced what you are experiencing now as only a mild discomfort.
I know how the guilt thing goes with the kids. Instead of looking at where you feel you are falling short...look at what you feel you are doing right and try working to increase those activities one day at a time.
One of the things you are doing right is cutting down on the perks. that is important. It is also something that will be easier to do with a doctors help and with the help of people in Narcotics Anonymous. You owe that much to yourself.
Keep your recovery first but do so by getting help when you need it. Surrender to the disease and ask someone for help.
Step One: We admitted that we were powerless over our addiction, that our lives had become unmanageable.
For many of us, admitting complete defeat was the only way we could ask for and get help.

------------------
The lie is dead...We do recover!

Gettin' Better!

[This message has been edited by Sick In The City (edited February 20, 2002).]
Sick In The City is offline  
Old 02-20-2002, 07:26 PM
  # 4 (permalink)  
perks
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JULIA..hi thanks again,(your everywhere,which is kinda nice)your right, i knew in my heart i would have to see a doctor about this.i've just been putting it off.i'm so ashamed to tell someone face to face,and terrified that they will see me as an unfit mother,then try and take my kids away.if that were to happen i couldn't carry on.my kids are my world,beleive it or not.. SICK IN THE CITY.. thank you also..your right about things being tough right now.there's alot more that i haven't mentioned going on in my life that stinks too.i don't want to bore anyone with my problems(outside of the meds)children grow up so fast,i don't want to miss anything.i think my children love me unconditionaly though,there's not a day that goes by,that they don't tell me they love me,even the 2 year old says it now..faithfully.and i tell them the same.they are what keeps me going.you mentioned that you have 2 children coming to live near you,that's wonderful 4 you,i'm sure. p.s i guess i should check out a na meeting.i wouldn't know where 2 find one.i'm in the north end of toronto,where would i look? thanks again i feel really good talkin to you guys.
(opps!ladies)

l

 

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