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Boredom vs Drama

Old 02-17-2005, 07:39 AM
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Boredom vs Drama

In the past year or so I have distanced myself from a few friends who I felt brought nothing to my life but drama. Don't get me wrong, we are still friends and I care for them, but I cannot be in their daily life. They latch on to the drama of everyone around them and bring it to me. I would find myself getting worked over things that were going on in peoples lives that I met like only once. It was crazy.

Anyway, today I deal with boredom. I work alone from my home and my life is pretty low on the drama scale LOL. This is what I prayed for for so long, now I have it and I am bored.

Is that bad? No, it is just different.

I saw my old boss at a funeral this week and almost asked him for my job back. I stopped myself just in time. Great guy, horrible boss, quit 2 years ago had to go through the list of why I quit in my head to remind myself so I didn't ask him for my job back. That was when it hit me just how bored I am with my life.

I was gonna go back to school, scratched that idea when I was journaling about it and realized I was just doing it to do something. I don't have what it takes to me a counselor, I am too codie for that LOL.

I don't even know why I am writing this thread. Just needed to share what is going on in my head.

I will take this boredom over the ridiculous drama anyday, that I know for sure. But somedays are easier than others.

This reminds me of what my first sponsor always used to say 'be careful what you pray for' .

Thanks for listening.
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Old 02-17-2005, 07:45 AM
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I know exactly what you mean Paulie. I often complained that I was bored. Then I realized that it was good that I was bored. I gave me time to do things that I've been meaning to do, but always said I didn't have the time. I finally finished 2 novels I had been trying to finish for a year, washed the walls down in my sons room, colored my hair, and cleaned out my closets. And those were just moments this month!!!!

Also, sometimes when I was bored, I would just sit, with no TV or radio on, and relax or pray.

I think being bored gives us a chance to get reaquainted with ourselves. I know when I was using, I had no idea who I was anymore. So I take any opportunity to take some time for me.

Have a good day Paulie, and when I get bored later, I'll include you in my prayers.
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Old 02-17-2005, 08:31 AM
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Paulie-
I was also recently dragged in to some drama ..I had been involved in their drama before, and was making an effort to stay away from it... lol, like that worked!!!

My life is also pretty boring. Last summer I had a very bad job experience. I have since taken a lesser job in a way different field. I have needed to heal myself from that and I will have to reevlauate a lot of things, figure out what I want to do. Unfortunately I am not so young anymore.
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Old 02-17-2005, 08:37 AM
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It is so nice to know we are not alone LOL.

I think what I am going through right now is similar to what I went through in early recovery, kinda getting to know myself again. Learning how to be alone with myself. The 2 women that I have distanced myself from, I used to spend half my day talking to them either in person or on the phone. I have plenty to do, believe me, we have our own business, I have a home, 2 step kids that go back and forth, and husband that works hard, meetings, friends.

It really is about learning all over again to just be with me and be happy with that. I worked on that alot when I first got sober.

I didn't even realize that til right now. See what sharing something that I thought was really kinda silly can do?
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Old 02-17-2005, 09:34 AM
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Good point!!
I myself have always been happy to be by myself. My pursuits are , hmm, singular?? I like to read, go online, etc... I am not very social. Of couse, I am seen as "the unfun" one and "I need to get out more".. uh, why? So I can sit around and pretend I am enjoying myself? No thanks!!!
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Old 02-17-2005, 09:37 AM
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sdp -

I understand what you are saying. but where I am right now isn't even about the social part. It is about working on my character defects and stuff like that. I am in the middle of my 6th and 7th step. I say that because my sponsor has given me a separate assignment before starting the 7th. LOL.

I lived alone for years, I can be a loner very easily. It is about being comfortable with me, alone or in a group. that is my struggle. but sharing it here helps, and when people like you respond and share with me, that really helps.
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Old 02-17-2005, 10:08 AM
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**{Paulie}} boredom vs. drama....yep, I struggle there also. I like the peacefulness of the drama free life, but then I get bored with it.....and I think it's like you said...leaves more time to concentrate on self.... eekk! Sometimes, I don't want to go there for whatever reason, and then I allow drama to creep back in....turmoil...ick, but not bored. That's when I have to have a talk with myself and turn that focus back on me and direct it in a more positive place and maybe a more healthier distraction until I am ready to continue that work on self. But then I find that even then I am always working on self, in one way or another.
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Old 02-17-2005, 10:22 AM
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Wow,
so you guys suffer with this too! it really is a trade off....Ive enjoyed the quiet time ive had recently, life has been fairly smooth (ish) but I wouldnt want all my life to be like this.....jeez,my memoirs would be pretty dull. When I look back to all my dramas, im kind of glad(actually very in some ways) they are over, but I often dream of my exploits and affairs,they were exciting times and even though I know I hurt people at times....im glad they happened....does that stink or what? I dont know if it was my using that caused all those dramas, its hard to say as i was using all my adult life til very recently....I have no regrets really,im kind of glad that I had that colourful and crazy time....sometimes the memories are just nice to enjoy without the stress of being there, hmm.I kind of long for more crazy fun in a way,guess im not that mature yet.hmm.
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Old 02-17-2005, 01:33 PM
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Paulie,

This is such a great topic. I've really had to work hard to release all the drama in my life when I became sober. I thought I needed drama in order to feel something and I brought a lot of it into my life. Funny thing was I thought I had let go of all of it and someone pointed out to me that I was still hanging onto to drama in one aspect of my life, my physical health. When that was pointed out to me, I said, well yes, but these are real physical problems so of course I am concerned. And, then it was like being hit by a thunderbolt. The purpose of getting rid of the drama is to live in peace and you don't have to have perfect health or perfect anything in order to live in peace.

And, I fight the boredom thing too. I do things that I like doing and see people I like seeing, but for me, getting sober involved cutting out things I didn't like and people I didn't want to see. I had been doing too much and clearly living in fear of spending time alone with myself. Now, I enjoy that and thrive on it and really miss it when I don't have time to spend alone.

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Old 02-17-2005, 01:37 PM
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Originally Posted by 51anna
The purpose of getting rid of the drama is to live in peace and you don't have to have perfect health or perfect anything in order to live in peace.

WOW, very well said Anna, thank you.
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Old 02-17-2005, 05:56 PM
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Paulie,

Some time back, Alongtimegone recommended a book to me called the Artist's Way. I am now recommending it to you. I now believe that when we are bored our creativity is stuck and this is a spiritual issue as well. She has three assignments, one you all ready do, you journal. The other is to make an artists date with yourself, this means you go BY YOURSELF and play. You do not choose the art museum because you think it would be a good thing or good for you, you do the things that let the child, and the spirit of creativity play. 2 hours.
The book is a classic, I do suggest you check it out. I am very grateful for the recommendation and the lift it is giving me.
I have no room for stupid drama, but boredom and peace are not the same thing.
Peace is wonderful. Boredom is a cry for your creativity to get unstuck.
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Old 02-17-2005, 06:38 PM
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Thanks live I will check it out.
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Old 02-17-2005, 09:19 PM
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Live, that book does sound great.....I may check it out also. I like those exercises!
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Old 02-18-2005, 03:51 AM
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Hello,I have been reading the posts on this forum and found them to be so enlighting and helpful. Decided to investigate what I needed to help make me healthy and at peace with myself.
Live that book... the Artist's Way sounds interesting. Will see if library here has it. If not will see if Amazon.com has it and order it on line.
Boredom vs. drama is something I struggle with too! Think I am one of those people who play on other peoples dramas. It lets me forget about the problems of my own life. Don't have to deal with them. Its just a way of covering up the real problems that need to be dealt with for myself.
Good thread. Find it most interesting.
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Old 02-18-2005, 03:56 AM
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The author is Julia Cameron. As it is a classic, most bookstores will have it.

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Old 02-18-2005, 05:11 AM
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Paulie, Great thread. I didn't have time to read through it last night, but I am glad I have time this AM.

When I first got clean, I used to be caught up in all the drama. I had my finger on the pulse of the NA Grapevine. I had to know who was doing what, with who, where, why when, you name it. It became so painful. I had to work really hard to get away from it all.

It is sometimes tough now, especially when some of my sponsees are newcomers who are getting caught up in it all. I have to tell them, If this doesn't effect my recovery or yours, I don't need to know.

My sponsees, and right now the rest of my support network, have enough real drama going on to last me 2 lifetimes. Someone pointed out to me the other night, the good thing about this is, I can listen, give advice, hang up the phone, and say "Whew, glad that is over" and get on with my nice, routine, boring self.

Working on me, sorting through the wreckage of my past, and dealing with life on life's terms is all the excitement I can handle. I love being able to sit still, and not have to keep up on the drama and the gossip.
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Old 02-18-2005, 07:29 AM
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Ditto namommy. This is a great thread.

"When I'm home alone, I'm behind enemy lines," sums it up for me. It's been good to spend a lot of time out, visiting people, going to meetings, etc., but I need to start focusing on the drudgery of home. It was good to get immersed in recovery at first, kind of a sanctuary. It gave me time to move beyond the space between my last drink and what might have become my next.

Hopefully I'll be able to start tackling the drudgery whilst keeping the drama to a minimum. I am trying to let go and let god, but it sure would be nice if god did windows and paperwork.

Tracy
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Old 02-18-2005, 07:37 AM
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This has turned into a great thread ladies.

I think the majority of it for me stems from the fact that I work at home alone all day long. Sometimes I think my dog and cat are sick of hearing me talk to myself.

They do have the book live referred to at Amazon, I checked into it.

I go through these times where I am confused about what I am supposed to be doing, like right now. But I know if I just have failth and share like I am I will come out okay on the other end

Drama, I dont' want the drama. I just need to find something that fills my spirit.
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