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Old 12-13-2018, 05:15 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Major Relapse


So here it goes after 10 years of sobriety; I became overwhelmed with work, overcompensated therefore with my kids and fully forgot about myself. I became completely burnt-out so one day after 13 years in the same job I quit. What happened next I lost my identity,picked up a drink, had a DUI, which put me into the worst and longest relapse period I have ever have had. We r talking 7 months here. I am now only 4 weeks sober again....I have a new counsellor and started looking actively for a job. The thing is I have never felt worse in my life. I feel completely and utterly lost, like I have no idea who I am anymore and not a night has gone by were I have not been crying in dispear. I am not sure why this recovery has me feeling helpless,I never have had felt like this before in my other recoveries. I mean I still function, but it feels like I dont know whose story I am living, I desperately need a job but its like I dont care at the same time, its like I am operating but I am not in me. I am not sure if it is the D&A counsellor, she has a very different approach or the fact that this time the relapse lasted such a long period of time or the fact that I dont have a job whereas before I did. I feel like alienated from me. I dont know I am at a loss here. Any insight would be grately appreciated..
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Old 12-13-2018, 03:39 PM   #2 (permalink)
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I really think that if you continue with your sobriety and doing the work with the counsellor you will be able to be stronger then you ever have been. You just have to keep putting in the work. 4 week is great!!
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Old 12-13-2018, 06:11 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Sidney, good for you for getting 4 weeks of sobriety. I wonder if it's possible that you are depressed? Maybe it's something you could consider talking about with your doctor? I hope you start to feel better.
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Old 12-13-2018, 11:42 PM   #4 (permalink)
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I am on antidepressants and I was feeling more positive, I think....maybe its because this time I dont have a job; Xmas is everywhere and I obviously dont this is by choice have my 2 youngest between my eldest daughter now 21; my sister and cousins and their dad and know that I will be spending that time period alone by choice because I want to be strong enough, I think its an accumulation of it all. I honestly wish it would be January; and my family has taken control over me financially at the moment, so no cash. It feels like I am in jail
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Old 01-28-2019, 10:47 AM   #5 (permalink)
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How are you doing, Sidney?
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Old 02-07-2019, 06:45 PM   #6 (permalink)
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I was doing ok, i was motivated, exercising, eating healthy until today. I have not picked up a drink but my day got off tracks when my Recovery Group had moved locations and I had not been informed, then I was advised yesterday by a recruitment agent that after 2+ weeks the role was filled internally, I am trying my hardest to count my blessings but I know how it works if my heart;head and the higher universe are not in sync it just does not work. So am a bit teary. Not depressed just feel let down in a way.
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Old 02-08-2019, 04:39 AM   #7 (permalink)
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Sidney- I am sorry you have had a rough few days. I am sure things will get better. Both of those situations would be frustrating to me too.
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Old 02-08-2019, 04:35 PM   #8 (permalink)
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Hope tomorrow is better, Sidney!
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Old 02-08-2019, 04:44 PM   #9 (permalink)
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Sidney, it sounds like you've been doing so well. I'm sorry today is a let-down. I hope you are able to find another job quickly.
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Old 02-09-2019, 10:10 PM   #10 (permalink)
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Sidney, sending love and prayers that things get better and you find the right job for you.
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Old 02-09-2019, 10:15 PM   #11 (permalink)
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Hi Sidney,

Sounds like you've been doing really well, lots of sobriety under your belt again.

What kind of jobs are you looking for?
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Old 02-18-2019, 09:10 PM   #12 (permalink)
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What type of job?

TBH i dont even know anymore my main experience is with being and Executive Assistant, also have experience in hospitality and teaching English overseas to Spanish speaking kids and adults in the corporate environment as well.

Am looking for something 9-5pm go home forget about work don't really care what it is anymore. For some reason extremely hard to get a job . I have lots of interviews but it just does not seem to progress from there..and its starting to get frustrating., especially since I also have not been approved for welfare payments nor anything so am relying on a friend to help me out.

Am just tired of having to depend on friends especially...Never know when I can or maybe able to repay them if ever.
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Old 02-24-2019, 03:44 AM   #13 (permalink)
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have you considered Zipkids? online teaching
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