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Help!!!! Ugh!

Old 07-10-2004, 07:48 PM
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Help!!!! Ugh!

I call up to see what time they are bringing my daughter back home and they tell me she wants to stay with them and fly back to NM with them! Ugh! I called the police and if they do not give my daughter back tomorrow I can have him arrested for kidnapping. We are all to meet tomorrow at the grandparents house to "talk things over". I feel like I'm going crazy! My daughter tonight sounded just like her father and started yelling at me! Telling me I'm selfish and I only want what I want. I told her what I wanted is to take her to a thyripst to help her sort out what she is feeling because she is telling me one thing and telling her dad another and that means to me that she is confused and wanting to please who ever she is with. Now from my stand point, I have all the legal rights to her and have had it for 14 dam years without any dam input from his ass. I'm also concerned that he is still sick in the dam head like he was a long time ago. Then again I'm to the point where I have delt with my daughter and her misgivings for so long that I'm just about tired of all this crap. She did the same thing when she was failing school. She would tell me about how bad the teachers where and then go tell the teachers her home life was so bad that she couldnt do her homework that is why she was failing. I'm angry and upset right now because the whole dam stupid family of theirs got ont he phone with me to say thier peice even the dam St mother or his wife. LOL, I kind of liked it when she got ont eh phone. I'v been wanting to tell her silly ass off for many years for not letting my daughter's father see her. LOL, I told her "what you stole my man along time ago and now you want to steal my daughter too"! She is like "if you want him you can have him", I said "what you can't beat him up enough and you need another guy". My daughter told me she hits her father (perhaps it's a good thing after all),but these things I'm concerned about with my daughter living with them. I just hate all this termoil and I'm upset again after having days of peace and happiness.
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Old 07-10-2004, 10:32 PM
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((((((((TY chy for helping me think strait)))))))), I'm still up and pacing the house. What I want to know is the truth before I even let my girl go with her father again. I will ask him and his father point blank about being in something organized and about "the body". I want his father to know what crap his son told me all those years ago and what it has done to me. If the stuff is true, then I can't say if it's true or not because that would put me in jepordy and I don't give a rats ass anyway if it's true. I'm just not going to let my daughter hang out with those type of people until she is 18 and can decide for herself. I'v never ever been invovled in any crime for God's sake,so this is all very scarry. it's scarry too if none of it is true and why did he lie to me and scare me half to death? so those are the issues I need to talk about first before I even think about talking about my daughter staying with him. I think I have some legit concerns don't you all?
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Old 07-10-2004, 11:41 PM
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(((zoomy))) sorry to hear about what you're going through. it sounds miserable. i hope things simmer down with you and your daughter and her father. my mom just walked in and said its time for bed ... im 20 ... i was going to post more, but ill just send a prayer up for ya.
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Old 07-11-2004, 12:42 AM
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Zoomie sister,
I'm e-mailing you pal, hang on girl you can do it.
love Annie bizz
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Old 07-11-2004, 03:24 AM
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(((((((((Dot)))))))) LOL with your Mom! Thank you for thinking of me!
Indigo girlfriend, I just sent you a long e-mail...Please advice!
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Old 07-11-2004, 06:59 AM
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Zoomer sorry I been in a funk the past few days.I think not having my meds in my system for two days through me for a loop maybe. Today I feel a tad better but lets talk about you. I had a strong feeling this would happen. With a teenager its hard. All they have to do is give her pretty things and buy her what she wants and she is sold. I know I was a teen once. He has probablly offered her somethng inticing. I really think you should keep your daughter with you. It just sounds to be to many shady things going on on his side of the family. You have the right to be scared of not knowing whats what. He may if you let her go with him pull the you abandoned her crap. I know you want to protect your daughteer but you also don't want to neglect the rest of your family. Meet in a neutral area. Talk to your daughter alone and see what she wants. If she still insists on going get in in writing that it is a temporary thing. This way he can't say you abandoned her. You must be so upset,confused,distaught. It sounds like a tough situation. However raising children is never easy. Hope everything works out.
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Old 07-11-2004, 07:26 AM
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((((((Zoomy)))))))

Just get your girl back don't be talking to them about past crimes I think it might cause you problems ok? Do you hear me?You do have legit concerns...

Teenager like to rebel but, they still need lots of guidence.

NOt long ago my own 16 year old told me he really appericated me being truthful and firm with him and admitted it does keep him out of trouble. He said he knows he can depend on me to show him what is real...

I believe your daughter wants truth and reality more than she wants mere things...
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Old 07-11-2004, 07:45 AM
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Hope it goes well today Zoomer!

Find a median as to what's best for you and best for her. Don't go off on a tangent about past issues, keep it focused in the present, and don't blow a gasket before you get there. Then come home, take a bath, relax, buy yourself some flowers, but do whatever it takes to get you chilled and calm. You've got a lot of stuff renting space, and your not taking care of yourself right now, when that happens you can't take care of anyone else with complete clarity. *hugs*
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Old 07-11-2004, 07:46 AM
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Oh splendra I did not mean it like that. Teenagers are definatley very complicated at times. I know her girl needs guidence and strength and I believe she will get this from her mom more then from her dad. I just think its easy for there judgement to get fogged when dad buys her everything she wants. I think I remember Zoomer saying something to that affect Of him using money to win over daughter.

Here Here Chy. I believe you should stay calm as well. You want to be heard. If you go in kicking and screaming no one will be heard. The calm one always gets there needs met. Brings me to my sister and me fighting for my daughter back. She was screming I am an addict and I sat calm cool and colective and I took my baby home on that very same day. I will say a prayer for you and your daughter now. Hope it all works out for the best.
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Old 07-11-2004, 08:51 AM
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O boy what a day. my daughter is home with the agreement that if she still wants to go tommrrow my husband said she will... Not on your life! I brought up every issue int eh world LOL, I may have never had another chance to do so and I needed to get it all off my chest. He said he lied about the body and about the "mob" I asked him right in front of his dad. I'm glad that was over with,but I told him he need to think aobut why he said that crap and what it did to me and my life! Anyway, I let my daughter's baby book wiht him so he could see what he missed out on and a letter and stuff. Great news though, his wife is fat and ugly LOL! I'm sorry catty I know,but I aged better
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Old 07-11-2004, 09:02 AM
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Zoomer-

See what living with that man could have done to you!! Retract thoughs claws and hold back your hiss and feel just a little sorry for her.

Glad you got your daughter back. Glad you are okay too
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Old 07-11-2004, 01:08 PM
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I am praying for you and your daughter Zoom.
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Old 07-11-2004, 01:39 PM
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Zoomer,

Sorry for the problems with you and your daughter. It's really a tough situation and I hope that it works out for everyone.

Love, Anna
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Old 07-11-2004, 02:37 PM
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AS THE TEARS FALL.... That is the name of my dam soap oprah of my life. My daughter and I had long talks. After thinking abut things and taking everything into consideration, my daughter will stay here two more weeks (her grandfather footing the airline bill) and go back to school in NM. I then will have her holidays and vacations with all of us footing the air line bill. Her father will keep me posted of all things and my daughter will have the much needed freedom a teen should have. her father applogised to her for being an ass and now she is able to do things with her friends and go to the mall and such. So, all in all my daughter will have the best life possilbe in both worlds and get even more spoild. I'm crying all the time because it's hard to let her go,but the school is better out there and they understand kids like her much better than the snobby ass schools here. She will also see a shrink for a while to get over this crap and hopefully her dad will learn something too. The grandparents and the dad have now also closed the gap that has been haunting them for years and hopefully they will treat their daughter in law and other grandchildren with the love and understanding that they all need. Me and my husband are another topic and we will see. I got a kitten for my girls today because they will miss their sister when she goes. Me, I'm going to work on my writing skills LOL!
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Old 07-11-2004, 02:50 PM
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Coming with big hugs and a box of tissues. (((((ZOOMER))))). I'm sorry you have to hurt over this. Kid issues are so difficult to deal with. It seemed like such a good idea at the time. LOL. Of course I know you love your children, as well as I do mine. My son did the same thing to me. Back and forth. It hurt me very much. I understand how you feel. By the way, how's your nose feeling today?

Take care,

Talia
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Old 07-12-2004, 12:14 AM
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TY Talia,what a dam night. Grandpa was up to his old tricks again and I just said forget it! Tehn my daughter poor thing got histarical because I took away her cellphone for the night least they all start calling again and I hid her diaries least she ripps out the pages of her hurting herself and saying what she went through in NM. I was going to use the diaries as a referance with her doctor to see what he thought was going on in my daughter's mind so I could get her help (thinking if i let her go back to NM,she will never get help becuase of the same old game playing). My daughter fliped out and bit me,punched me,shoved me ect... I did rather good at remaining calm. My husband did come in and try to get her to stop and she did until he left with the younger kids to the park to get away fromt he shouting. My older boy is taking his aggression out by incouraging her to do all this,but I was very calm except when I found out the reason why she wants to go back to NM is because they promised her a trip to paris next summer! I called her a little materialistic bitch after she called me a crazy paranoid bitch. Sorry, I snaped after being punched and bitten and my duaghter said she did't want to live with this family here becuase we embarrass her by my husband being overwieght and my younger daughter and us not having lots of money like her dad and his family. So after thinking about it all, I gave her backher cell phone and diaries and will call her dad up again tomorrow,pay for the dam air line ticket and hopefully end this mes soon. My daughter is 14,she is missing a key ingreadiance in being compassionet. I will not have her hit me,not pick on her little sisters! They have had the brunt of her ADHD or what ever it is that ails her and I just will not have it any more. I don't hate her,nor her brother,but 14 and 18 are old enough to stop using people and only being nice when other people have money.
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Old 07-12-2004, 12:27 AM
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Zoom,

I do hope this all works out for the best Zoom. I know you must be terribly sad right now. Be kind to yourself.

Love, Anna
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Old 07-12-2004, 12:30 AM
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(((((((((((Anna))))))))))), ya I need to be kind to myself... Someone needs to!
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Old 07-12-2004, 12:41 AM
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(((((ZOOMER))))

I'm so sorry....you've had more then your share lately. Wow, you need Calgon to take you away. I'll say a prayer for you tonight.

Talia :sad6:
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Old 07-12-2004, 02:46 AM
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TY Talia ((((((((((huggys)))))))))), I'm OK this morning and just want to get things taken care of. If I can, I'll put my daughter on the plane today with her dad. I'm so very tired of all this emotional stuff and if I'm going to greive, I want to get it all over with and not drag it out for another 2 weeks.
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