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Old 03-17-2012, 12:45 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Fear of physical/sexual contact since sobriety?

When I was abusing drugs and alcohol for 3 years, I became very physically open and promiscuous. Since being sober, the thought alone of sex scares me and I hate even being touched...is this normal? Was my promiscuity simply a result of being under the influence? Has anyone else experienced a dramatic change in sexuality since being sober, or is it just me? And if it is, is it normal to feel this way?
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Old 03-17-2012, 05:36 AM   #2 (permalink)
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I do think that alcohol makes us do things we wouldn't ordinarily do. So, the fact you were promiscuous when drinking alcohol could be simply because that was how the alcohol affected you. I know that I would do things and say things while drinking, that I would never normally do.

And, I've heard many women here mention that they were not used to 'sober sex'. My suggestion would be to just take it slow and don't have expectations of yourself or your partner.
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.

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Old 03-20-2012, 08:36 AM   #3 (permalink)
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I too was very open and promiscuous during my drinking years and w/o alcohol I'm not open at all and don't even want to be touched. During both of my marriages I quit drinking and then could not stand for my husband to touch me, both marriages ended in divorce...hmmm I've now been free of alcohol for nearly 5 yrs and have not been intimate with a man during that time as the thought of it kind of makes my skin crawl. Even during my years of drinking and basically being a wh*re I usually couldn't stand to be around the men once I sobered up so it's no surprise to me now that I have no interest. I don't think my years of sleeping around made me this way I think I was always this way and alcohol made me someone else, someone that I'm glad I'm not anymore.

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Old 03-22-2012, 02:53 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Weird, I was the opposite. When I was wasted I didn't care for it, I guess because I was so numb inside. But now that I'm sober....well let's just say it's quite the opposite and needless to say my boyfriend is thrilled....lol
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Old 03-22-2012, 03:58 PM   #5 (permalink)
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When I was very young & a drunk I was very promiscuous Scary number of partners and I am thankful I am clean of std's. I never felt anything though. It's like all the nerve endings were completely shut off. As I got older, I was much less so, only having 3 partners in the past 15 or so years. Even so, I did take an HIV test just for my peace of mind just a couple months ago.

I feel really good about sex now & I think that is due to being solidly sober, plus I know without a doubt that my partner & I love each other & we are comfortable with everything. Flaws & all. I had a very minimal/non existent sex life for many years & my former partner blamed me & I thought it was indeed "me". Even going to a doctor for help I turns out I do like sex, I just didn't like it with him.
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drug , sex , sexual abuse , sobriety

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