“There are people in jail who have done less than I.”
 

I remember being in a meeting when the speaker shared that prisons are mostly filled with unrecovered alcoholics. These alcoholics, he said, were the same as you and me – only they either got caught or their alcoholism had driven them a little further than ours had. Also, he said that if we found ourselves saying “I have never done the things some of them have,” we should always add a “yet” to it. He ended by saying that prisons are just one of the places alcoholics who don’t get sober wind up.

As I thought more about this, I wrote an inventory of all the close calls I had. I remember when I was seventeen , I had been drinking and driving after work and just missed hitting a woman pushing a baby in a stroller on a crosswalk. I hadn’t noticed that others had stopped in the lane next to me, and I barely missed her as I sped through. Over the next 20 years of my drinking, there were multiple times when my disease could easily have landed me in jail – or worse.

When I think how fortunate I am to have escaped the desperate consequences of my alcoholism, I am indeed filled with a deep sense of gratitude. As I sit in meetings, I know we have all survived a similar, darker fate, and the idea of sharing the bond of shipwreck survivors that I read in the Big Book resonates with me. Whenever I find myself on my pity pot for not yet getting the things I think I deserve, I remember the things I didn’t get that I actually did deserve. It makes me think of another saying “There but for the grace of God, go I."

I definitely think I had a guardian angel or something. I'm very grateful for a second chance. :)

D

It is said that God looks out for fools and children. In my youth, I was both at the same time. It's amazing that I lived thru it.

Great post. Thanks for sharing.

I really appreciate this post.

I don’t know why I have been spared from my consequences; I really don’t; like most everyone, I’d guess, the close calls were innumerable. But your post struck a deep chord with me. There is a tremendous amount of gratitude and an incredible amount of self-loathing for what could have been. And there is now hope for what will be.

I had a few consequences - all in the early days of my drinking. My first 5 years of alcoholism were the most reckless. The last 10+ years were much more subdued (but I was no less drunk).

So true!
I'm often surprised that I'm not in prison or worse looking back - its so scary!

I think that statistics that show that 15.000 children die every day around the world make it pretty clear that God doesn't really looks out for them.

I was also really close to going to jail once when i tried to rob a liquor store with 2 of my friends, it was around 2:00AM and we broke the door open with a crowbar and as soon as we stepped in the store the alarm went off and we started running. We successfully ran away but this was in the middle of nowhere and we needed to pass through there again on our way home, we were so drunk that we didn't even throw away the crowbar from the car , so when the police stopped us they found the crowbar. I am so embarrassed of it to this day , but i was very lucky that they only gave me 2 years probation and i spent a few hours in a police station and 45 minutes in court. I never ever wanted to rob anything before or after that but we just had that stupid drunk idea that night that we can score some free booze from a closed liquor store and now i have a criminal record because of it.

When I think about some of the things I did after I got out of the army it make me cringe when I think about them. At the age of 22 my drinking and behavior were already out of control. I was violent and dangerous. After getting locked up on many occasions because of my antisocial behavior caused by unresolved anger, the weariness at being dragged through the legal system that cost me dearly financially, helped me make a decision to do my drinking at home. I consider myself a very fortunate individual because I had the right people in my corner during these turbulent times in my life. There's more to it than that but I'll leave it there.

welcome to SR Hatman1990 :)

D

Glad your here Hatman.

Back in the day I did a little jail time. I also got away with some bad stuff that could have put me away for a while. Sobriety has stopped this madness. Looking over my shoulder everywhere because I have a bench warrant is not a future I want.