I was in a pit of dispair and self loathing!
I remember very clearly the day I found SR. I was half way through a bottle of red wine that I drank to get over the hangover and discomfort of the previous nights 2 bottles of red.
I was sat in my pyjamas, hadn't showered, washed or brushed my teeth, hadn't eaten and it was about 10pm. My house was a mess, the living room stunk of spilled vodka, the hallway at the bottom of the stairs was covered with a huge red wine stain on the wall where I had tripped over on the way up and threw a full large glass on it, the carpet and floor was covered in broken glass as whilst tripping up I also fell flat on my face and landed on the glass, I had woken up that morning with an ex boyfriend in my bed that I didn't remember calling or how he was in my house, there were cigarette butts all over me as I had blacked out with a full dirty ashtray in bed, there was a huge coffee stain all over the mattress and bedroom carpet where I had also blacked out with a full cup of coffee in my hand.
I was ashamed, desperate, lonely and tired. This wasn't the first time but I wanted it to be the last time.
The SR community embraced me, didn't judge me and gave me the courage, determination and knowledge to get sober and get to rehab.
I owe a lot to this site, the admins and the community. xx