What it used to be like, what happened, what are you like now?
What it used to be like: Complete obsession with alcohol. How can I get it, when can I start drinking, how can I appear to be drinking normally while actually sneaking drinks and getting completely plastered. Nights that I don't remember at all, ending up in the hospital, ending up in jail, getting into HUGE fights with people, saying things I didn't mean, crying. Brutal hangovers where I couldn't even get out of bed, vomiting, bloody stools, liver pains, headaches that not even a bottle of Advil could cure. Cycle repeats, back to the obsession: when can I start drinking again? Hating myself, hating my body, hating my decisions, ultimately hating my life.
What happened: I got sick and tired of being sick and tired. I posted here. I went to AA and met an amazing sponsor, and an amazing group of people. They saved my ******* life. SR was the first step.
What I am like now: Grateful to be alive. Grateful for all the gifts that my Higher Power has given me. Present in daily life. Some days are better than others. Life isn't easy. Depression and anxiety kick in. But now I have sobriety, SR, and AA. Living a life that, for the most part, I enjoy.
So what about you? What were you like before, what happened, what are you like now?