Full Blown Alcoholism with a Licence to Kill...Myself
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2018
Posts: 40
Full Blown Alcoholism with a Licence to Kill...Myself
After years of work I reached the point of full blown alcoholism. Years of meetings, rehab and detoxes. Divorce gave me a license to drink the way I wanted to...and it almost killed me.
Full Blown (REAL) Delirium Tremens with no medical attention. Bad news, man...Real bad.
Grand Mal set in and put me in a wheelchair for three days, and it was hard to articulate my words and thoughts...Real scary stuff.
That fall out was on a detox floor.
So I have to keep that real, as I'm still only one drink away from being drunk. And all that fun was over three years ago!
Has anyone gotten this bad prior to their wake up call? I sometimes feel i pushed the envelope farther than most, so why am I still here?
Thanks so much,
D
Full Blown (REAL) Delirium Tremens with no medical attention. Bad news, man...Real bad.
Grand Mal set in and put me in a wheelchair for three days, and it was hard to articulate my words and thoughts...Real scary stuff.
That fall out was on a detox floor.
So I have to keep that real, as I'm still only one drink away from being drunk. And all that fun was over three years ago!
Has anyone gotten this bad prior to their wake up call? I sometimes feel i pushed the envelope farther than most, so why am I still here?
Thanks so much,
D
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,432
Hi and welcome Dirk
I suffered several mini strokes in my last detox - that was as far as I ever wanted to push the envelope.
The legacy of that I have to live with everyday - but at least I'm alive and I feel like I have a meaningful productive life now.
I'm glad you found us
D
I suffered several mini strokes in my last detox - that was as far as I ever wanted to push the envelope.
The legacy of that I have to live with everyday - but at least I'm alive and I feel like I have a meaningful productive life now.
I'm glad you found us
D
Member
Join Date: Feb 2018
Posts: 274
Hit the bottom
I had several problems including hospitalizations and jail time for DUI, had hallucinations and lost money and jobs. It has been hell. I could have died many times. Trying to get sober now, looking for support.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2017
Posts: 16
Originally Posted by icewater1961 
I had several problems including hospitalizations and jail time for DUI, had hallucinations and lost money and jobs. It has been hell. I could have died many times. Trying to get sober now, looking for support.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2013
Posts: 26
During high times of heavy drinking bouts I would get uncontrollable muscle spasms and seizures - just like my grandmother. Unpredictable. Embarrassing. Disturbing.
It wasn't enough to stop me however. Nor were the problems with the law, the alienation of family, friends and termination of great jobs, financial losses, surrendering to the will of the courts and attorneys ...
Until one day the veil of self absorption lifted long enough for me to step out into the light of life.
I had seen a movie about a mother and father who had spent their life savings and mortgaged everything they had to care day and night for their daughter who had suffered a tragic and avoidable incident due to drinking. She died and left them with nothing but the indignity of her avoidable and untimely death.
Until that time, I truly believed I was the only person that endured the wreckage of my own mayhem. I had a change of heart and perspective.
I didn't want to do that to my folks. I thought they deserved better.
So I quit trying to kill myself.
Life is hard, but it is with good company that I enjoy and endure it.
It wasn't enough to stop me however. Nor were the problems with the law, the alienation of family, friends and termination of great jobs, financial losses, surrendering to the will of the courts and attorneys ...
Until one day the veil of self absorption lifted long enough for me to step out into the light of life.
I had seen a movie about a mother and father who had spent their life savings and mortgaged everything they had to care day and night for their daughter who had suffered a tragic and avoidable incident due to drinking. She died and left them with nothing but the indignity of her avoidable and untimely death.
Until that time, I truly believed I was the only person that endured the wreckage of my own mayhem. I had a change of heart and perspective.
I didn't want to do that to my folks. I thought they deserved better.
So I quit trying to kill myself.
Life is hard, but it is with good company that I enjoy and endure it.
Redmayne
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Manchester, England, UK.
Posts: 1,543
I can identify with this..
In my drinking days,as 'a high functioning alcoholic' which stretched over a period of roughly twenty five years during which time I passed, reasonably successfully through three of my four professional careers. 'Lost' everything, and I do mean EVERYTHING! Other than my son and my ability not once but TWICE! Us 'alkies' never do things by halves. Had one DUI and attended meetings on an intermittent basis but for regular periods and got nowhere until finally someone handed me a recording of one of 'Joe and Charlie's:Big Book Study Meetings', best sponsors I, and I'd suggest many others have. So that eventually, having, not by my hand, I found myself with nothing but the first safe, secure place to live, my fifth home in the previous seven years and little else!
I finally had to come to terms with the fact that for all my great triumphs and failures, these were always someone else's fault, which in fairness was n part true but there's little doubt my drinking played a contributory part...no excuses, right!
I was dragged 'screaming and kicking' to the conclusion that if anyone was an alcoholic, it was me!
ThenI got better, and I've been getting better every day ever since, and that was ten years ago....a day at a time.
Thank you for giving me the opportunity to respond to your thread,I can identify with this...and probably more....
I finally had to come to terms with the fact that for all my great triumphs and failures, these were always someone else's fault, which in fairness was n part true but there's little doubt my drinking played a contributory part...no excuses, right!
I was dragged 'screaming and kicking' to the conclusion that if anyone was an alcoholic, it was me!
ThenI got better, and I've been getting better every day ever since, and that was ten years ago....a day at a time.
Thank you for giving me the opportunity to respond to your thread,I can identify with this...and probably more....
Member
Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 87
Hi icewater, I can relate to you. I am on my 2nd dui and about to serve jail time for it. Very scared and upset with myself for loving alcohol (it seems) more than myself. You came to the right place. When i was in my dark place I came here and spoke to a few people who let me realize I really am not alone and have someone to talk to. Keep at it. And any advice would for me and jail would be very much appericative! Good luck
Originally Posted by icewater1961
I had several problems including hospitalizations and jail time for DUI, had hallucinations and lost money and jobs. It has been hell. I could have died many times. Trying to get sober now, looking for support.
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