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Old 12-26-2017, 03:50 PM   #21 (permalink)

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Originally Posted by stephengb View Post
I just ignore the bits I don't agree with and as they say focus on the similarities not the differences.
This is wise advice. I agree that AA can sometimes cause exasperation, but keep going and keep listening. Eventually, we hear our own story and start to find solutions.

Also, I would add that one of the ways to recover well is to actively contribute. If you're feeling discouraged, supporting another person who is suffering can help to lift you from despair just for a moment, and accept that you, too, play an important role.
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Old 01-06-2018, 12:44 PM   #22 (permalink)

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That person who said u talk to much was rude plain and simple. Some AA ppl think they know it all. I've been to meetings that left me totally depressed. BUT I've also been to awesome meetings with awesome ppl. You gotta shop around so to speak. I hope you find the right place!
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Old 01-06-2018, 11:57 PM   #23 (permalink)

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In early sobriety I went to an alcohol counsellor who said I needed to understand that people in AA are not my friends and that I will make some new ones but not there. I had no idea what he meant and felt put out. Fast forward to six years Dover when I went out again and within a week my sponsor had dropped me and none of my AA Ďfriendsí would meet me fir a coffee let alone the usual chars in the phone. Obviously at the time I was heart broken and lonely, tbh I then went into the relapse full steam ahead coupled with Ďfor us to drink us to dieí I thought well if Iím alone and will be soon dead f*** it! BIG MISTAKE!

After two years I started seeing a counsellor and asking for help away from AA and blow me Iíve actually been happy insobriety this time, happy go figure?! Now Iíve got friend who would care if I drink or not, the friendship doesnít come with conditions, who would have thought that! I havenít got any resentments to AA or the people there as it isnít their fault like they say throw a drowning man a life ring and heís going to cling to it, or do whatever you tell him to do!

If you are going back to AA and why not it either before I would suggest that you look to the program much like if you had to go to a church but didnít get on with the crowd, you are there to get closer to God primarily?! Also look for different meetings where your usual crowd donít go if you can. Iím sorry you are in this situation and if I could rewind to years ago as soon as I took a drink after all those years I would never have walked into AA and been honest about it, best thing to do would to have been keep my mouth shut and try and work through it because fir people that already have a heap of shamed to feel shamed in the one place you thought you were safe cab be disastrous.

I hope this cloud has a silver lining fir you like it did for me and your HP has sent you back out again for a reason like he did for me. I never dreamed I could be this person and feel a part of a support group bigger than AA called society

Good luck my friend.
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Old 05-31-2018, 12:10 PM   #24 (permalink)

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Touching on these responses...

Hey Lily, Iím so glad youíre here. Iím at 49 days, and frankly, I donít mean to be unctuous but you accomplished something incredible with 20 years, and though I know it sucks to feel so much pain over a mistake and itís completely valid, that mistake certainly doesnít take away from what you accomplished. I mean, think about it: all the wisdom youíve accrued, all the times over you navigated this beast.
I find that as an alcoholic (hadnít had more than two days sober in over five years, and pretended like it wasnít a problem), my tendency to look to others for validation is a huge part of my overall problem. Regardless of my one addiction, my propensity for mitigating my loneliness through drinking/drugging with people led to highly undesirable places, all because their desertion would have left me with a hole in my heart. One of the reasons I felt compelled to respond is that your response to a perceived failure is exactly what mine would be, I think... I almost project my past self (actual, much worse actions) onto the skin of my current situation, while today I am in a better mental place and I feel MUCH better,enabling me to be kinder to myself. Dearest one, you can persevere through that mental space by remembering that many an alcoholic is also an *******: one way my current program is different is how I remind myself that just because someone else is following a program and is sober, it does not make them qualified to be a good friend. Perhaps we have nothing in common. However, you will find that, with kindness to yourself and self accountability balanced as the ultimate goals, that youíll have your coven of sober friends in no time. . I have to say that Iím lucky as hell: my town alone (small college town) has an average of twelve meetings per day, and Iíve met college students in recovery, so I canít imagine how ****** you must feel, as I felt a micro dose of your feelings at a couple meetings I then NEVER went back to due to feelings of slight to acute repulsion. Feel free to PM me!
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Old 05-31-2018, 05:22 PM   #25 (permalink)
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Old 06-06-2018, 10:19 PM   #26 (permalink)

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I am so sorry some jerk had said that to you. I would never!!! Please dont take ir personal if some dont get back to never know what others may be going through even if they seem like they are putting on a smile.
I wish you the best of luck. And i am always here if you want to chat. Shoot me a private message if you ever would like.

Originally Posted by Lilij View Post
Trying to go to AA meetings. I have had heart to heart with 3 people in the program .Nobody wants to be around a negative person with lots of problems. I have asked people to meet for coffee or walk. They don't get back. One guy told me I talked too much. He said we don't have 2 eyes and one mouth for nothing. WHAT! Who does this to people that are desperate and hurting. Today they spoke of humility. I am working on self confidence. Very confused. Friendless depressed and overwelmed.
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Old 12-18-2018, 02:15 AM   #27 (permalink)

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24 hrs

All we have is today. I also went ďoff the railsĒ after 9.5 years on the wagon. The acceptance of doing this still is difficult but once we can accept that we really only have one day it becomes easier. You didnít lose those 20 years of sober living👍
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Old 12-18-2018, 02:17 AM   #28 (permalink)
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