Don't know what to do..
 

Hello there,my name is Ioio and English isn't my first language.First of all what you gonna read maybe will shock you..I'm 30 yo and when i'm sober i am actually a ordinary person,but when i'm drunk or/and high i become another person.2 be short i'll present you the facts as a list(remember:i m mental healthy,done the tests a dosen times..)
-i ve been drinking and getting high since i was 14
-everytime since that date when i drink i get into trouble like:subway vandalise(grafitti),international drug traffic,bank credits with fale ids,i entered second in arhitecture College and dropped out 1st year cause i was deunk 24/7,lost about 30 well payed jobs because i was 2 fu*ked up to show up(even my tattoo business crashed because i was to drunk to remember when the client would have an app),lost my house because i didn t show up at the trial when my sister sued me for my half,got 3 wifes (lost all because i was a ****ng beast with theM.(all o these without legal repeecursions)
Well the last made me realise that i have problem and then the guilt for all the bad things i ve done came into play(depression-tried to suicide 3times(pills,pills and pills) the er doctors called me Rasputin cause i was still alive.all of this in past year(i isolated myself trying not to harm anybody).well i ve made a decision and i ll take my life away for good.i cam t carry all of these thimgs i ve done with me.anyway i quit alcohol a year a ago and i m just drinking like a beer a month or so.So i m asking your opinion.hope it will help.don t do the mistakes i ve done.sorry for the spelling mistakes also

Be blessed,

Hi ioio

There's nothing in your posts that shocks me - you'll find a lot of us have done crazy stuff we regret.

I really believe we are better than the bad things we;ve done. You'll find support and understanding here :)

does this mean you are still suicidal?
Please call a crisis line or ask someone for help if that's the case ok?

There are international crisis line numbers here:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ease-read.html

D

We have all done things that we regret, a major part of recovery is moving forward and changing all the parts of your past that you want to make sure that they don't happen again in the future.

Do you have a recovery plan? Just winging it is not a great idea, recovery takes work and dedication. You can do this! Just put your all into it and believe in yourself. Our own perception of ourselves is one of the most important things to work on in order to create a strong and lasting recovery.

Welcome, ioio. :)

Sounds like you could use some support and a good plan to help you change your life around.

I don't find your story shocking either. Stick around, you'll find a refreshing amount of helpful ideas here. :)

Please call the hotline number Dee provided if you're feeling suicidal.

Not shocked. Impressed. You lost a lot bc you had a lot to lose.

Never any point in quitting before the game is over. You need a hail mary pass. Forgive yourself. Right?

Hello,again.thanks for your opinion.i ain t got a plan or something..i m not from usa to call that hot line.pm if you can.any idea good should trigger something Good.i think all this is for a reason.THANKS 4 all of you.maybe sometime i will be able to help you back!!!

Beloved

The number is an international one, ioio. :)

How are you doing?

hi Ioio

if you were replying to me there were international crisis numbers in that link
Suicide Hotlines - Suicide.org! Suicide Hotlines - Suicide.org! Suicide Hotlines - Suicide.org!

Befrienders Worldwide | Emotional support to prevent suicide worldwide

Of course you will help someone else. Maybe that's the only good reason to be on earth.