The last straw
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Athens, GA
Posts: 737
The last straw
Two weeks ago, on the last night I drank, I wasn't really planning on it being the last time; although every night before I passed out I prayed that tomorrow I would somehow have the strength to change.
I drank all the beer I had at home and realized I was too drunk to go to the store for more, but I wasn't drunk enough to pass out.
So, I turned to a new habit I'd picked up recently: popping a couple Benadryl on top of the booze.
I was upset this night and popped one or two extra. As I lay there waiting for paralysis to set in I started to feel as if my lungs weren't working autonomously, as though I had to breathe willingly. I thought to myself "if I fall asleep I might die." Then I thought "oh well, at least this will all be over " and I fell asleep.
The next day on my calendar, where I'd been recording my alcohol consumption, I wrote "plz God stay sober"
I have written "sober!" on each day since. May it always be.
I drank all the beer I had at home and realized I was too drunk to go to the store for more, but I wasn't drunk enough to pass out.
So, I turned to a new habit I'd picked up recently: popping a couple Benadryl on top of the booze.
I was upset this night and popped one or two extra. As I lay there waiting for paralysis to set in I started to feel as if my lungs weren't working autonomously, as though I had to breathe willingly. I thought to myself "if I fall asleep I might die." Then I thought "oh well, at least this will all be over " and I fell asleep.
The next day on my calendar, where I'd been recording my alcohol consumption, I wrote "plz God stay sober"
I have written "sober!" on each day since. May it always be.
Member
Join Date: May 2015
Location: UK
Posts: 1,042
Wow, that's powerful, you didn't care if you didn't wake up?
I send love and positive vibes to you that you stay sober now and onwards into your much brighter future.
Keep this (your) post if you're ever tempted.
And two weeks sober is fantastic!!
xx
I send love and positive vibes to you that you stay sober now and onwards into your much brighter future.
Keep this (your) post if you're ever tempted.
And two weeks sober is fantastic!!
xx
Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: New York
Posts: 35,731
((Upwardspiral)) thank you for sharing your thoughts with us. Your post was very powerful and I can can sure relate to the desperation in wanting to stop but being stuck in the downward spiral.
Congratulations on 2 weeks! You can do this! Keep posting and please continue to let us know how it's going for you.
Congratulations on 2 weeks! You can do this! Keep posting and please continue to let us know how it's going for you.
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