More Like Were Was I ?
aka Nesty
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Northern Vt.
Posts: 1,554
More Like Were Was I ?
I was a Sad looking wreck of a Woman . I didn't care if I had someone to drink with or not . At the last end , beer wasn't enough or get me to that point faster . Started buying a 5th of Rum on top of half a 30 pack . Well I needed to get a 30 pack so I could have some for when I would woke up !
Had more beer in the Fridge than food . I still wonder why I never burned the house down trying to cook . Most of the time I couldn't remember what or if I had ate .
After 10 + years of off again on again maybe a whole 8 months once . only to fail . I started feeling left out . My drinking buddies stopped coming around . My house was spotless , I just ran out of things to do with myself . Didn't work the steps to stay sober . I still look back at that time WHY was I dumb enough to start gain ??
Back to the Rum & 15 + beers . Oh BTW my family gave up on me , after the first 3-4 years . One day I woke up after not sleepy or eating very much . Popped open a beer about 5 am had a couple swallows . Stomach felt strange , started sweating
Up came the half of the beer . Hmm I sat wondering maybe a stomach bug ?
Tried again a few sips just to make sure . Nope the gaging began and it wouldn't stop , thought sure I was going to pass out . Shaking and scared I called a friend to bring me to the Hosp .
Dehydrated , esophagus almost burnt out , liver just about shot . Dr comes in Drink much ? I looked at him with my Mouth wide open with not a whole lot to say . He says , I don't need an answer it perfectly clear by the tests . Here me out loud & clear if you don't stop right now you will be Dead in 6 months Tops !!
Holy Smokes
Doc .. I needed that Slap .
Here I am 2 years Sober as of July 16, 2013 - Stronger = With the Will to Live . Anyone reading this take my warning , STOP before any more damage to your body happens .. Stay strong & fight everyday it will get better ..
Had more beer in the Fridge than food . I still wonder why I never burned the house down trying to cook . Most of the time I couldn't remember what or if I had ate .
After 10 + years of off again on again maybe a whole 8 months once . only to fail . I started feeling left out . My drinking buddies stopped coming around . My house was spotless , I just ran out of things to do with myself . Didn't work the steps to stay sober . I still look back at that time WHY was I dumb enough to start gain ??
Back to the Rum & 15 + beers . Oh BTW my family gave up on me , after the first 3-4 years . One day I woke up after not sleepy or eating very much . Popped open a beer about 5 am had a couple swallows . Stomach felt strange , started sweating
Up came the half of the beer . Hmm I sat wondering maybe a stomach bug ? Tried again a few sips just to make sure . Nope the gaging began and it wouldn't stop , thought sure I was going to pass out . Shaking and scared I called a friend to bring me to the Hosp .
Dehydrated , esophagus almost burnt out , liver just about shot . Dr comes in Drink much ? I looked at him with my Mouth wide open with not a whole lot to say . He says , I don't need an answer it perfectly clear by the tests . Here me out loud & clear if you don't stop right now you will be Dead in 6 months Tops !!
Holy Smokes
Doc .. I needed that Slap .Here I am 2 years Sober as of July 16, 2013 - Stronger = With the Will to Live . Anyone reading this take my warning , STOP before any more damage to your body happens .. Stay strong & fight everyday it will get better ..
aka Nesty
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Northern Vt.
Posts: 1,554
Opivoltal Oh thank you , I just had to get that off my chest . Sense I've been here and reading others posts . I didn't want them to think they were alone and the only ones fighting that Demon !!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: New York
Posts: 35,731
I'd love to read your story in the Stories of Recovery
We can and do turn our lives around!
I'm just thrilled for you.
We can and do turn our lives around!
I'm just thrilled for you.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,564
I was a very similar wreck, Nest. I drank an incredible amount each day at the end of my drinking career. Feel so fortunate to have my life back - I almost didn't even try. Thank you for your story and inspiration.
aka Nesty
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Northern Vt.
Posts: 1,554
Thank You again Opivotal I will check into that when I get a chance .
You too Hevyn Very Happy for you - We can fight that Monster & be stronger for it . Takes a lot of hard work , but worth it for the happiness we all deserve
You too Hevyn Very Happy for you - We can fight that Monster & be stronger for it . Takes a lot of hard work , but worth it for the happiness we all deserve
Do your best
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 67,047
Congrats on 2 years Nest have you joined the class of july 2013
My sober date is july 14th 2013 im so waiting to meet a birthday buddy im getting closer lol
here is the link we all got sober in july 2013 http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...t-19-a-13.html
My sober date is july 14th 2013 im so waiting to meet a birthday buddy im getting closer lol
here is the link we all got sober in july 2013 http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...t-19-a-13.html
aka Nesty
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Northern Vt.
Posts: 1,554
Wish I could "Turn Back Time "
This song came in my head as I was reading & posting in a Tread
I hope My Mom knows no matter what - I still loved her .. Lesson learned before picking up the next drink , think of what your doing to your family .
https://youtu.be/jq_BAHIAuNw
I hope My Mom knows no matter what - I still loved her .. Lesson learned before picking up the next drink , think of what your doing to your family .
https://youtu.be/jq_BAHIAuNw
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,564
I'm sure she knows, Nest. I hurt and confused my family, too - but we didn't do it intentionally. We're in our own little world when we get that bad. Please be kind to yourself.
aka Nesty
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Northern Vt.
Posts: 1,554
Thank you Hevyn Sometimes times the past jumps out at you . The best thing to do is Look at it for what it was & move on . So many things I don't want to think about . You can't heal that way .
I have more things to work on . Letting go of pain , anger & heart brake . This journey of Sobriety has some rough patches
Sometimes times the past jumps out at you . The best thing to do is Look at it for what it was & move on . So many things I don't want to think about . You can't heal that way .I have more things to work on . Letting go of pain , anger & heart brake . This journey of Sobriety has some rough patches
Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: New York
Posts: 35,731
Yes nest, we do encounter rough patches but once we deal with them, learn our life lessons, we start the healing process.
In order for me to stay sober, I had to work on the reasons I drank. Through all the pain came self forgiveness as well as forgiving others.
Please don't hesitate to reach out when you have these "rough patches" it helps to talk to others and know you're not alone.
In order for me to stay sober, I had to work on the reasons I drank. Through all the pain came self forgiveness as well as forgiving others.
Please don't hesitate to reach out when you have these "rough patches" it helps to talk to others and know you're not alone.
aka Nesty
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Northern Vt.
Posts: 1,554
Opivotal , Thanks I find if I come back to this tread & reread it kind of comforts me that I'm no longer in that pain . Whewww I haven at least Forgiven myself - as you mention , I can't change what I did .
It's wanting & hoping what's left of my family to find a way to Forgive me .
I find it hard to reach out , when I know so many others are Dealing with day to day Sobriety . That part " so far" I have a handle on . If I pick up I won't be living very long with my health issues . That alone scares the Crap out of me.
The best thing I can do is post here , then if someone wants to give me some ideas to work on - That would help me a lot
No 1 : Goal work through - Reasons I drank !! Maybe I can make some blogs . If I can get SR teck . issues of posting to cooperate . Some posts are still getting lost - in time out
It's wanting & hoping what's left of my family to find a way to Forgive me .
I find it hard to reach out , when I know so many others are Dealing with day to day Sobriety . That part " so far" I have a handle on . If I pick up I won't be living very long with my health issues . That alone scares the Crap out of me.
The best thing I can do is post here , then if someone wants to give me some ideas to work on - That would help me a lot
No 1 : Goal work through - Reasons I drank !! Maybe I can make some blogs . If I can get SR teck . issues of posting to cooperate . Some posts are still getting lost - in time out
aka Nesty
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Northern Vt.
Posts: 1,554
Opivotal I'm starting to think it's just me . I check & double check sometimes on my replied . Making sure I'm spelling or my wording is Good
I'm catching on to copy my replies , that helps . Sometimes I have a sign of relief when some don't post
I'm catching on to copy my replies , that helps . Sometimes I have a sign of relief when some don't post
aka Nesty
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Northern Vt.
Posts: 1,554
FarToGo That's a huge compliment , that means so much to me - Thank You If you've read over my other posts * threads I'm still a work in progress .
We all have daily struggles , but alcohol surly doesn't help . That was my hardest lesson ..
One day at a time - We'll get their . Very Good luck on your journey
If you've read over my other posts * threads I'm still a work in progress .We all have daily struggles , but alcohol surly doesn't help . That was my hardest lesson ..
One day at a time - We'll get their . Very Good luck on your journey
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