More than 2 years...
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 8
More than 2 years...
Hey people,
So its been a loooong while since I visited here. Not sure why, to be honest. I visited here when I first decided I needed to change my life and this place was instrumental for me getting through those first few agonizing sober days. And for that I thank you from the bottom of my heart.
So...I've been stone sober for about 2.5 yrs now. I look better, I sleep better, I think more clearly, quickly and analytically and I do much better at my job. And...I've never felt more alone in my life. I feel as if I have no connection with anyone. I haven't felt intense emotions other than anger since I quit drinking and doing drugs. I have almost zero interest in romantic relationships (even though I'm in one now for almost a year) and sex has become nothing but anxiety for me. I used to simply adore the fairer sex. I can't stop thinking about anything ever...over analyzing and feeling like a lunatic fit for a straight jacket. I went to AA at the very beginning. We weren't a very good fit. It really rubbed me the wrong way. One day after going into a meeting feeling great and exiting feeling like I needed a liter of bourbon in my stomach immediately, I decided to not go back.
Not sure what I hope to accomplish with this post, honestly. I just saw this forum about how I'm doing today and decided to post. I'm not heading to the liquor store and have no intention to, but I have been wondering a whole lot why the hell I'm doing all this lately. Although things weren't technically better (no where near) when I was drinking every waking moment of the day, at least I felt good SOME of the time. And I had some sort of common interest with people out there. Felt like I was part of the human race. I probably just need some new hobbies and to vent.
Thanks again people. It is nice knowing I'm not the only one out there having some internal dilemmas.
-Shags
So its been a loooong while since I visited here. Not sure why, to be honest. I visited here when I first decided I needed to change my life and this place was instrumental for me getting through those first few agonizing sober days. And for that I thank you from the bottom of my heart.
So...I've been stone sober for about 2.5 yrs now. I look better, I sleep better, I think more clearly, quickly and analytically and I do much better at my job. And...I've never felt more alone in my life. I feel as if I have no connection with anyone. I haven't felt intense emotions other than anger since I quit drinking and doing drugs. I have almost zero interest in romantic relationships (even though I'm in one now for almost a year) and sex has become nothing but anxiety for me. I used to simply adore the fairer sex. I can't stop thinking about anything ever...over analyzing and feeling like a lunatic fit for a straight jacket. I went to AA at the very beginning. We weren't a very good fit. It really rubbed me the wrong way. One day after going into a meeting feeling great and exiting feeling like I needed a liter of bourbon in my stomach immediately, I decided to not go back.
Not sure what I hope to accomplish with this post, honestly. I just saw this forum about how I'm doing today and decided to post. I'm not heading to the liquor store and have no intention to, but I have been wondering a whole lot why the hell I'm doing all this lately. Although things weren't technically better (no where near) when I was drinking every waking moment of the day, at least I felt good SOME of the time. And I had some sort of common interest with people out there. Felt like I was part of the human race. I probably just need some new hobbies and to vent.
Thanks again people. It is nice knowing I'm not the only one out there having some internal dilemmas.
-Shags
Member
Join Date: Sep 2014
Posts: 1,792
Hi Shags
Maybe try different AA meetings? I had to kiss a few frogs before I landed in my current AlAnon group, which is a VERY good fit.
I wish recovery were easy. It isn't. I am away from my drinking mate, my family and all my animals. If you read a few threads here, you won't find anybody who got sober one day, then lived happily ever after the next.
Why stay sober? At least so you don't become a burden to your family and society, and hurt somebody else.
At most, so you can help others achieve sobriety. You never know how many lives you will positively affect by doing so.
Good luck. Hang in there!
Maybe try different AA meetings? I had to kiss a few frogs before I landed in my current AlAnon group, which is a VERY good fit.
I wish recovery were easy. It isn't. I am away from my drinking mate, my family and all my animals. If you read a few threads here, you won't find anybody who got sober one day, then lived happily ever after the next.
Why stay sober? At least so you don't become a burden to your family and society, and hurt somebody else.
At most, so you can help others achieve sobriety. You never know how many lives you will positively affect by doing so.
Good luck. Hang in there!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 174
Shags,
Congratulations on 2.5 years, I hope to be like you someday. I am only 2 days into it. Yeah, when i dont drink i cannot talk to anyone, i think i am a very boring person i guess. And that part about not feeling like part of human race, ditto for me. I cannot stop THINKING. literally i think all the time, to the point of paranoia and so many possible things (and impossible). I just want the constant thinking to slow down, that is why i drank. My mind seemed to always (and it does now) wander to dark realms of thought. I hate it, i drank to shut it up. Now in my 2nd day of sobriety I feel that there is no filter, man this is a serious adjustment but stick with it, you are awesome, i gotta always talk myself down from my "crazy place" and keep stuff in perspective.
Deuces
Congratulations on 2.5 years, I hope to be like you someday. I am only 2 days into it. Yeah, when i dont drink i cannot talk to anyone, i think i am a very boring person i guess. And that part about not feeling like part of human race, ditto for me. I cannot stop THINKING. literally i think all the time, to the point of paranoia and so many possible things (and impossible). I just want the constant thinking to slow down, that is why i drank. My mind seemed to always (and it does now) wander to dark realms of thought. I hate it, i drank to shut it up. Now in my 2nd day of sobriety I feel that there is no filter, man this is a serious adjustment but stick with it, you are awesome, i gotta always talk myself down from my "crazy place" and keep stuff in perspective.
Deuces
Member
Join Date: May 2014
Location: liverpool, england
Posts: 1,708
i went to aa as my life was in a mess and i had nothing, i went to hopefully get off the drink
what i found was aa is much more than that for me but it took me time to start to understand
the problem is when we get off the drink we still have to live life without the drink and this is such a hard thing
my moods would be all over the place either i would be up and full of excitement and believe this is what life is all about or i would be down in the dumps not wanting to anything other than feel down with problems running around in my head at 100 miles an hour
this is what aa helped me with as well as getting off the drink, i learned how to change my life around and to change my thinking and reacting to things
you say you might need a new hobby and i thought of one for you,
have you ever thought of doing some volunteer work at a local down and out centre where tramps can come and get a bed or a meal ?
there always in need of people able to lend a hand and i can bet you that after being in there you will certainly come out feeling like your a millionaire compared to others
that feeling of gratitude is one of the best feelings in the world in my eyes and keeps my feet firmly on the ground
good luck to you and i would try aa again but try different types of meetings as there are a lot of different meetings around
what i found was aa is much more than that for me but it took me time to start to understand
the problem is when we get off the drink we still have to live life without the drink and this is such a hard thing
my moods would be all over the place either i would be up and full of excitement and believe this is what life is all about or i would be down in the dumps not wanting to anything other than feel down with problems running around in my head at 100 miles an hour
this is what aa helped me with as well as getting off the drink, i learned how to change my life around and to change my thinking and reacting to things
you say you might need a new hobby and i thought of one for you,
have you ever thought of doing some volunteer work at a local down and out centre where tramps can come and get a bed or a meal ?
there always in need of people able to lend a hand and i can bet you that after being in there you will certainly come out feeling like your a millionaire compared to others
that feeling of gratitude is one of the best feelings in the world in my eyes and keeps my feet firmly on the ground
good luck to you and i would try aa again but try different types of meetings as there are a lot of different meetings around
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