i just felt like writing/sharing how i feel
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Join Date: Oct 2014
Location: uk east yorkshire
Posts: 115
i just felt like writing/sharing how i feel
I feel gratitude, at piece with myself, amazed that this works and im sober today,
on 17/11/09 I was in trouble big time through drinking alcohol, I attended AA on 20/11/09 and I just kept coming back.
wouldn't it be nice if I said I got it and was sober from 20/11/09, but that's not the case.
I was in and out, on and off the wagon, didn't get it, sobriety wont work for me its impossible.
on 30/08/14 was my last drink, I went out with a bang, I don't do things by halves, back to AA 6 days later I bought a big case of lager, to be poured down the drain, wow, they went down the drain without first going through my body.
I tried and tried at AA I put the work in, and eventually its working for me, I worked the steps from step 1 the best and hardest I could, I eventually found acceptance, I stopped fighting everything and everyone, I love sobriety today.
I did a big written step 4, I shared it o step 5, now here goes this is another big step for me, because I felt nothing straight waay after my step 5, but I continued not to drink, I got through the day 24 hours at a time, depressed feeling sh!t, and wow about 2 weeks later it hit me, and the steps really started to work, because I got on and worked them, step 6 , 7, 8, 9, 10, I worked and still am working on my defects and shortcomings, if when I do my step 10 im having to say sorry, or there is some part of my day im not happy with, I go back to step 6 and work on it because I am the common denominator.
its a complete 180 degree change that's needed, its a programme of change, of action, the illness alcoholism centres in the mind, the mental stat before a relapse is the crux of the problem, alcohol is a symptom.
I now get to my meetings I smile and say hello to people shake their hand ask how they feel, try my damn hardest to help.
yes im just over 2 months in and im trying to give away what was freely given to me.
its amazing, it IS a miracle, if I can do it anyone can, I was hopeless, insane, physically I could have continued drinking, mentally I was screwed.
recovery is reverse of how we get ill, 1st we get physically well, next we get mentally well, and 3rd we get spiritually well, this is a 3 fold illness, I don't think ive ever been spiritual in my life.
and I started these steps with no belief in god, I now believe in AA the power of the rooms, im not in charge, im not fighting, and I must also stress how helpful and wonderful this forum is.
today I love sobriety, but I know I have to work it, god or infact no one will just pop down and remove my defects of character, its up to me to hand them over, to do the opposite of what they are.
god bless you all, I hope you all stay sober, 1 day at a time, keep it simple.
dave
on 17/11/09 I was in trouble big time through drinking alcohol, I attended AA on 20/11/09 and I just kept coming back.
wouldn't it be nice if I said I got it and was sober from 20/11/09, but that's not the case.
I was in and out, on and off the wagon, didn't get it, sobriety wont work for me its impossible.
on 30/08/14 was my last drink, I went out with a bang, I don't do things by halves, back to AA 6 days later I bought a big case of lager, to be poured down the drain, wow, they went down the drain without first going through my body.
I tried and tried at AA I put the work in, and eventually its working for me, I worked the steps from step 1 the best and hardest I could, I eventually found acceptance, I stopped fighting everything and everyone, I love sobriety today.
I did a big written step 4, I shared it o step 5, now here goes this is another big step for me, because I felt nothing straight waay after my step 5, but I continued not to drink, I got through the day 24 hours at a time, depressed feeling sh!t, and wow about 2 weeks later it hit me, and the steps really started to work, because I got on and worked them, step 6 , 7, 8, 9, 10, I worked and still am working on my defects and shortcomings, if when I do my step 10 im having to say sorry, or there is some part of my day im not happy with, I go back to step 6 and work on it because I am the common denominator.
its a complete 180 degree change that's needed, its a programme of change, of action, the illness alcoholism centres in the mind, the mental stat before a relapse is the crux of the problem, alcohol is a symptom.
I now get to my meetings I smile and say hello to people shake their hand ask how they feel, try my damn hardest to help.
yes im just over 2 months in and im trying to give away what was freely given to me.
its amazing, it IS a miracle, if I can do it anyone can, I was hopeless, insane, physically I could have continued drinking, mentally I was screwed.
recovery is reverse of how we get ill, 1st we get physically well, next we get mentally well, and 3rd we get spiritually well, this is a 3 fold illness, I don't think ive ever been spiritual in my life.
and I started these steps with no belief in god, I now believe in AA the power of the rooms, im not in charge, im not fighting, and I must also stress how helpful and wonderful this forum is.
today I love sobriety, but I know I have to work it, god or infact no one will just pop down and remove my defects of character, its up to me to hand them over, to do the opposite of what they are.
god bless you all, I hope you all stay sober, 1 day at a time, keep it simple.
dave
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