Cake

So,here i am almost done my first day. I am in a sad,embarassed,shamefilled stage right now. I blacked out last night after starting drinking in the afternoon when i woke up today,i knew enough was enough. Nothing good has ever come out of alcohol for me. I quit smoking but when do i slip up? When i drink? I started exercising and eating better but when do i flub on that? The day and the day after I DRINK. Its become my only hobby because ive been using it as an excuse like i owe it to myself because of my problems. Instead of tackling them head on. Last night was the last straw,im becoming something who isn't me. I feel better even from just this morning,especially after finding this site. I know there are challenges ahead but im ready to tackle!

gettingbetter64

I completely get the sad,embarrassed,shameful part I've felt that over and over again for years. Anytime I feel like drinking I tell myself I don't want to feel those negative feelings again. I've also used drinking as a hobby for years,I'm only on day 3 right now and I already feel so much better. You will find a lot of support of this site. Take care

Opivotal

Hi Cake! I've been in your shoes, drinking myself into a blackout, embarrassing myself. You don't have to go through this ever again. Sobriety helps you stand up and claim the person you used to be, actually a better version of yourself.

Best Wishes To You

Hevyn

Welcome Cake.

You're not alone - most of us have been there. I kept insisting I could enjoy drinking again if I just used enough willpower. With that attitude I lost decades of my life - and ended up drinking 24/7. When I found SR it was a relief to know others had felt the same way I did. I found the strength to let go of it. It wasn't doing a thing but bringing me misery and despair. You don't need it. You can reclaim your life & never have to feel this way again.

least

Welcome to the family. I'm glad you joined us. There's a lot of support and useful info here. So read and post as you like. I hope our support can help you get sober for good.

Bennevisgal

This was my main issue too - blacking out and doing and saying things that would leave me regretful and embarrassed the next day. You are not alone.
We are here for you! I have been sober for a short time and I feel better already. My body isn't constantly fighting a losing battle to rid my body of the alcoholic toxins, and my mind isn't left trying to develop new ways to comfort myself when I've done something terrible.
Stay strong. Alcohol takes so many lives in so many ways - I've seen it first hand. It is not your friend. Welcome to Sr

Caliday

Welcome, Cake, it's my first time here too.
I've been clean and sober for years, but took too much prescription pain meds, crossed the line, and now feel so ashamed.
But today is another day.

Hevyn

Welcome Caliday! Be proud of yourself for reaching out and getting some help. We all understand how you feel.

Yes - today is a new day. We're glad you joined us.

(You might want to start your own introductory thread in the Newcomer's section - more people will see you there. )

trez

I used to call those "shameovers". I'd wake up with this guilty feeling that I had done something awful. Or I had some sort of injury.

Croissant

Hi Cake. Welcome.

Yep, I woke up one day and thought what the hellllll am I doing? I saw the craziness for all it was...days lost in hangovers...that had somehow turned into years of no weekends, avoiding friends, doing nothing but recover and drink and work (which was really only serving the purpose of providing money for a roof and alcohol).

On the outside, I doubt many knew. I had a professional job, worked hard (fake work, because I was hungover). My life was a whole lie. I didn't even know who I was - how could I?

Welcome! And enjoy the journey.

goody

I drink because of loneliness, happiness, whatever--it is never far from my thoughts.

sunnybaz

Wow everyone! I cannot believe the number of similar posts from each of you. It's like you (we) have each woken up to a body and mind that was saturated and the guilt that follows. I am happy to have a place to go for support and appreciate all that I am learning thus far. I just now stopped shaking from my week long bender. My eyes hurt, my head hurts and I can't get enough water into my mouth! I am frightened that I may have done permanent damage to my insides. Day 1 nearly done after 20 years of pickling, numbing and escaping.

Jason913

Drinking and drugs warp the mind. Quit ingesting poison and feel better. Simple but true. 1 day clean is good. On the 2nd day remember that it is poison and provides only temporary relief of your symptoms of addiction and alcoholism. I had to keep the door closed. If I open it by using a little I will be back at square 1 within a few month period.

Opivotal

How are you doing Cake?

phil571610

It's better to drink than be how I feel now. Yes/No?
I have done this for so long and I can't change. Yes/No?
My emotional pain is too intense and too private for me to not drink. Yes/No?
This site is ********, they don't care about me. Yes/No?
I can overcome my addiction by being honest with myself, that I'm bigger than any lies I tell myself to collapse into comfort. Yes/No?
My discomfort is tolerable and lessened when I connect with people. Yes/No?
My name is Phil, 57 male and I want you to suffer your existence without grog or whatever. I live in Perth Western Australia. I hear your pain and want to make a difference to your life for no other reason except to value time. Our time, ie.

phil571610

You can't add or subtract pain or yes/no to your recovery Cake. It's only you that hurts yourself. You must look for your soul, centre, truth without numbing yourself. Thats why you kept drinking, because you didn't know what you where supposed to be. At first you are supposed to be sober so revel in that.