Redmayne

Five years ago, on the night of the 14/15th Feb., 2008, my alcoholism was taken from me, by my having what in the Big Book, or 'Alcoholics Anonymous' I've had to accept. There being no other explanation forthcoming, a 'psychic' or spiritual experience.

Since that time, whilst it's true, I've clung on to my spiritual beliefs and even tried to expand those in my personal life, although at times they've suffered by my constant efforts to still try to play god.

I'm making some progress, most days, I even let him run the show, unless my arrogance tells me I should step in and 'trim the sails a little', although I tend to fall overboard, every time I do this...doh!

Unobserved by me, my life and circumstances, when I reflect, it's ok to look back, but not stare have improved, not only immeasurably, but are set to go on improving...albeit, it was none of my doing, honest.

Setting these things aside, the main improvement is that, without my permission. I'm alive!

When five years ago, I should've been dead...and after all I'd been through, when terrible events swept through my life, during the fifteen previous years. Not once, but twice, so that all that remained was my son, and even as an alcoholic, my ability and my sense of self belief , in not only myself, but the god of my understanding.

Not primarily because of my alcoholism, although let there be no doubt in mine or anybody elses's mind, it played a contributory part. No excuses, ok.

There were many times that my son and his friends, I didn't have any. Guess why? Didn't expect to see me alive....

So for all that's been in the past, all that lies in the present and all that's to come, I'm grateful to the god of my understanding for one thing.

I'm alive, safe, sane jury's still out on that one and sober!