koha42

I was waiting to die literally!..Watching waiting for my heart to quit on the monitor with the doctor standing over me with paddles just waiting for the ultimate moment to happen!! I am not taking it lightly either.. I don't go to meetings I run to them... I don't go to Church I run to it.. I have even gotten saved since then and took Jesus Christ as my personal savior.. not because I just think it will help..because I know in my heart I would not be alive without HIM and the doctor witnessing to me while I waited to die!! Change my whole life.. I can't get the picture out of my head and I am glad.. I hope It stays there forever .. people change for different reasons and this is what happened to me and why I am changing and staying sober!!

Redmayne

In my experience, we all arrive here by different paths, just as we all arrive at our own rock bottoms...personally I've always liked the analogy of a alcoholism being similar to descending in an elevator (lift) from the top floor of a very tall building.

You can stop it it, and alight at any floor you wish, which allows you the choice of deciding when you've reached your own rock bottom. Or you can but if you don't you can let it descend to the basement, where, in effect the choice has been, as appears in your case. The choice of when you hit rock bottom, is made for you...

Either way, providing of course you survive hitting the basement, without to much harm. Many don't. the road to both recovery and lasting sobriety, lies before you, as it did for many others including myself...

afloatsober

Thanks KoHa
Does me good to remember.
Guess i took the train all the way. Lots of attempts to stop but i just couldn't and also now realize that i believed booze still offered me some kind of hiding place. Some sort of relief from the hell in my head.
Until the end. At the end i couldn't drink. Was too sick to drink and too sick to walk to get it.
I shouted at God to let me lapse into stupor and this time not wake up. I begged for the end of 40 years of active alcoholism.
When i did come round i felt a strange resolve and peace. Went through withdrawal mostly alone and when i could walk (3 weeks) went back to my regular AA meetings.
I made no decision to stop drinking, nor did i make any promises. For the first time since 14 years old i have not wanted to drink alcohol.
I don't understand that at all, but i do understand that i now have a Power that i once doubted i could find and that my continued wellness is contingent upon making my active sobriety my number one priority.
Period.
Thanks for helping me share what i must never forget.
G