I rejoice....
Redmayne
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Manchester, England, UK.
Posts: 1,543
I rejoice....
It's ok to look back at your life, but not to stare....When I look back at my life, now well over five years into recovery. At my life,which of course includes, about 30 years as an alcoholic, I'm now 67.
I realize that, with some wonderment I can no longer do many of the things I once did. Not least visit some of those ,'dark places', I'm sue many of us as recovering alcoholics, know only to well, nor can I, in sobriety conduct my life in the same manner...
Whether this is a combination of my highly prized sobriety, gained in my case after many years of struggling, by what I believe, in my case, was a spiritual or psychic experience. The effects of aging, mentally and physically or the growing influence of my interest in fundamental (Therevada - The Wisdom of the Elders) Buddhist philosophy/psychology. I'm not sure, but we all arrive here by different paths, so I think it's best for me to adopt a philosophical approach. Which I do in most things now, and not worry about it.
The conclusion to be drawn from this, is that I just can't do those things any more, nor would I want to!
It's also very apparent that in my daily existence, when I look around me, I see and have contact with many others, often much younger than me. Living, in the main, perfectly sane, normal lives, together with those, that shall we say, life styles are less well balanced but common sense and experience would suggest are not alcoholics or addicts...pursuing lives that are best described as,'accidents, waiting too happen'.
I'd admit these people do disturb me, to them I can only offer,'fierce compassion' and adjunct to those three basic and highest spiritual values compassion, patience an tolerance. There to be offered to those who by their actions and behavior, disturb you...as I , surely disturbed many, myself at some time or another.
As an acquaintance, himself a Consultant Psychologist and Neuro Surgeon, once told me,'There are some people who no matter what you offer or try to help them. Will always, self destruct.'
However I'm not here to mull over the misfortunes of others,'Live and let lie', right!
Realizing that as a recovering alcoholic, influenced by those things I've previously mentioned. I know I cannot, whatever the temptations live my life, in sobriety like this. Nor can I be to influenced by all the ,'attractions' (?) that life in a contemporary society offers....
Evidenced recently by the fact that my son, now 32 yrs, who runs both his personal and professional life through his,'smart 'phone' or some such, admitted that my three year old grandson.Will, in all probability have, in 10 years time, overtaken him in his knowledge and use of modern technology of the day...
Setting these things aside. I then have no misgivings about my past life, or where it has lead me, heavily influenced, even in my drinking days. By a belief, note not faith in,'the god of my understanding'....
On this basis, I rejoice in my sobriety and the life it's brought me, in all that I do and offer my gratitude to all those who've helped me along the way. Including those here on this site. Thank you...
I realize that, with some wonderment I can no longer do many of the things I once did. Not least visit some of those ,'dark places', I'm sue many of us as recovering alcoholics, know only to well, nor can I, in sobriety conduct my life in the same manner...
Whether this is a combination of my highly prized sobriety, gained in my case after many years of struggling, by what I believe, in my case, was a spiritual or psychic experience. The effects of aging, mentally and physically or the growing influence of my interest in fundamental (Therevada - The Wisdom of the Elders) Buddhist philosophy/psychology. I'm not sure, but we all arrive here by different paths, so I think it's best for me to adopt a philosophical approach. Which I do in most things now, and not worry about it.
The conclusion to be drawn from this, is that I just can't do those things any more, nor would I want to!
It's also very apparent that in my daily existence, when I look around me, I see and have contact with many others, often much younger than me. Living, in the main, perfectly sane, normal lives, together with those, that shall we say, life styles are less well balanced but common sense and experience would suggest are not alcoholics or addicts...pursuing lives that are best described as,'accidents, waiting too happen'.
I'd admit these people do disturb me, to them I can only offer,'fierce compassion' and adjunct to those three basic and highest spiritual values compassion, patience an tolerance. There to be offered to those who by their actions and behavior, disturb you...as I , surely disturbed many, myself at some time or another.
As an acquaintance, himself a Consultant Psychologist and Neuro Surgeon, once told me,'There are some people who no matter what you offer or try to help them. Will always, self destruct.'
However I'm not here to mull over the misfortunes of others,'Live and let lie', right!
Realizing that as a recovering alcoholic, influenced by those things I've previously mentioned. I know I cannot, whatever the temptations live my life, in sobriety like this. Nor can I be to influenced by all the ,'attractions' (?) that life in a contemporary society offers....
Evidenced recently by the fact that my son, now 32 yrs, who runs both his personal and professional life through his,'smart 'phone' or some such, admitted that my three year old grandson.Will, in all probability have, in 10 years time, overtaken him in his knowledge and use of modern technology of the day...
Setting these things aside. I then have no misgivings about my past life, or where it has lead me, heavily influenced, even in my drinking days. By a belief, note not faith in,'the god of my understanding'....
On this basis, I rejoice in my sobriety and the life it's brought me, in all that I do and offer my gratitude to all those who've helped me along the way. Including those here on this site. Thank you...
Not angry just direct
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: England
Posts: 257
Morning, Red.
I have to say that's a deep, well written post. Just my cup of tea.
^^ That, however, has to be the most personally meaningful quote I've heard in a very long time. I've just added it to the desktop on my phone to remind me to look forward more often and be less nostalgic (a regular problem for me). +1
I have to say that's a deep, well written post. Just my cup of tea.
Originally Posted by Redmayne 
It's ok to look back at your life, but not to stare....
Redmayne
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Manchester, England, UK.
Posts: 1,543
I always like it...
Hi, thanks for what I perceive as the constructive comment on my post. I always like it when others use the word,'deep'when referring to something I've said or written, because in sobriety, apart from having an engaging, friendly, at times mischievously so.
Alternatively, like a lot of recovering alcoholics, referred to in the,'Big Book', as being, friendly, able intelligent people.
I'm also described as being,perceptive, astute and incisive,to the point when I'm often unerringly correct... Yes, it was news to me, to!
I tend to think of myself as being safe, sane (jury's still out on that one) and sober, works for me!
I mean let's not get silly about this.I just like being me, which at one time I didn't. That's progress..../
Alternatively, like a lot of recovering alcoholics, referred to in the,'Big Book', as being, friendly, able intelligent people.
I'm also described as being,perceptive, astute and incisive,to the point when I'm often unerringly correct... Yes, it was news to me, to!
I tend to think of myself as being safe, sane (jury's still out on that one) and sober, works for me!
I mean let's not get silly about this.I just like being me, which at one time I didn't. That's progress..../
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