zorah

i am bipolar and the effect of alcohol on me is extreme. what happened to me was that i was in a dangerous spiral downward because i refused to get any treatment for my mental problem and at the same time, was using alcohol to fend off the bipolar thoughts that were always preying on me. i couldn't admit i was an alcoholic because then i would have to stop. i wanted to go on thinking that i was easing the symptoms of my mental problem and doing it responsibly (even though i blacked out, couldn't swear off it, etc). I logged on here and asked what others' experiences were and several responses kind of got to me. One in particular talked about reaching the fork in the road: do i go on drinking and not use the medication i need (because combining the meds with booze is deadly) or do i relinquish the booze and get REAL help by addressing both problems? that is the question. in other words, do I want real recovery? wholeness? he said that for him, each problem has to be addressed in order for him to be sober and have a second chance at life. So he goes to the professionals for his mental illness and to AA for his addiction. That's when the walls started crumbling down for me. I heard my story in his.

This forum is wonderful because it is just sharing experience, not preaching or dispensing wisdom.

Zorah

Redmayne

First of all I recognize that it can't be easy for you or anyone who is bi-polar...and sympathize with you and others who suffer from this condition...

Secondly , myself as a,'recovering alcoholic' of some now,5 years standing, remember only to well in my drinking days, which lasted for a period of just over 30 years, remember only to well coming to that,'fork in the road'...which just as we all arrived here by different paths, manifests itself in it's own, unique way for all of us...

Having said that the only common trait to be found in reaching that point, is that we had to make a choice in whether we wanted to continue drinking, the common trait we know of in that, only to well, is that it leads to insanity or death. Most whom continue to drink, would I'd suggest, prefer the latter...

Setting that aside,who wants to die?No matter how far we've gone, or may still have to go to reach our,'rock bottom' and no matter how much conflict there is in our deluded brains,having regard to all our individual circumstances.

There's only really one constructive option, undertaken by, as regards most things in life, keeping it simple...

It's a question that really answers itself,'Do I want to go on drinking, with all the misery that brings,which will only get worse, regardless of how my life and circumstances are or do I want to live my life as as safe, sane,sober person and retain.No matter my problems, mentally, physically or otherwise. With some dignity...as a human being and one of God's creatures. Accepting that we all choose the god of our understanding...

I'd suggest the answer is obvious....it's all in the mind....

PhilT

Hi Zorah , I can really empathize with your situation i too have had a similar situation, have you ever heard of a mineral supplement called lithium orotate , not too be confused with the medical prescription drug lithium carbonate or citrate , this is a vitamin/mineral which is available from health foods stores and has been proven too help both bipolar suffers and alcoholics alike after all im beginning to think that they may be one in the same thing( worth a google you may be surprised) , this mineral which i have been taking for 6 months now has helped even out the severity of my highs Lows and in this time i have not had one suicidal thought and that is a miracle for me.
Check it out .

Redmayne

I agree with you, Zorah, wholeheartedly, that sharing our experience, strength and hope is much better than dispensing wisdom. Any fool can do that, just look at history...

I always think that our disease/illness is called alcohol-ISM, the alcohol being but a symptom,it's living with the -ISM's, i.e. life itself, in lasting sobriety that's the hard part...