I had just had enough of it
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Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Maine
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I had just had enough of it
My final decision to just say enough is enough didn't come at rock bottom. I've been there before 3 times, the worst being right after my DUI where thankfully, no one was hurt.
This time it was because I was just sick of it all. Sick of spending most of my weekends in bed with a pillow over my head because I felt like crap from drinking. Sick of fighting with my husband. Sick of making bad decisions. That and the fact that in this last attempt at moderation which was only on weekends and being mindful of how many beers I would drink (noting now that I never set a number limit, just being mindful) was starting not to work. That and promising myself that if I started to sway from my moderation plan that there would be no choice other than total abstinence. Even that threat didn't work. I was headed down the same road that I had been on before. Driving when I knew full well that I shouldn't and promising myself that I would not drink so much that night because I didn't feel like **** the next day. It was all going to crap once again.
So here I am, praying a lot and working hard to make it work this time. So glad to have found this message board because it's saved me quite a few times!
This time it was because I was just sick of it all. Sick of spending most of my weekends in bed with a pillow over my head because I felt like crap from drinking. Sick of fighting with my husband. Sick of making bad decisions. That and the fact that in this last attempt at moderation which was only on weekends and being mindful of how many beers I would drink (noting now that I never set a number limit, just being mindful) was starting not to work. That and promising myself that if I started to sway from my moderation plan that there would be no choice other than total abstinence. Even that threat didn't work. I was headed down the same road that I had been on before. Driving when I knew full well that I shouldn't and promising myself that I would not drink so much that night because I didn't feel like **** the next day. It was all going to crap once again.
So here I am, praying a lot and working hard to make it work this time. So glad to have found this message board because it's saved me quite a few times!
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