I dropped in again because.....
And the walls.....
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 81
I dropped in again because.....
Because, well, I should hit a meeting.
I quit going to meetings, again, for several reasons. I've got more than a decade sober, worked the program as hard as I could the first few years.
Not going to whine too much about what happened, life on life’s terms can be a challenge, as we all know.
For the past year or so, I have been in business for myself and doing fairly well, but felt I wanted to return to the industry I was in for 25 years.
I took the steps, and have the chance to do it, albeit in a outsides sales position, I've been a "ops guy" for most of my time in the industry, but felt I was strong in customer support and I have (had?) the product knowledge.
My plan is to keep my own business going, I think my wife and I can do it, and start the new position.
My first sponsor, Cowboy Larry, was a hard ass. One of the things he told me was to turn all of my bills over to my wife, and that he hoped she spent everything I had.
I did not have much, in fact, we were in great debt. When my 25 year career ended, I used the severance and 401K to pay off all of our debt. That was cool, and up until yesterday, my wife still had full control of the bills and finances.
It felt good being debt free, and this new job would require a fair investment in expenses, I had no major concerns.
I will be driving several hundred miles a week, I have to pay for the expenses but they will be tax deductible. I do that now for my own business, I thought it would be manageable.
Over the past several years, I asked how we were doing financially, and especially focused on the debt issue - I was always told we were current and debt free - yippee!
One day at the post office, I learned my wife tried to open a PO box.
I asked, she made up a B-S story.
I started checking the mail - found a credit card bill, in her name, with over $10,000.00 in debt
Beyond pissed, I was.
Also had to have some dental work done, a bridge broke and the dentist fixed it. I expected the bill to be a grand or so, it arrived yesterday, $4000.00
And as most of you know, when it rains, it pours. Of course, there was more...
Last night my wife and I spend hours going over all of the expenses, the bills, I am not sure we have them all, but probably 90% of them.
It’s going to be a battle, a challenge, I did not need this especially when I am (was?) looking at a major career change.
It’s been a long, long time since I wanted to drink, to just run away and drink, but you know what, I’ve had those thoughts.
Life is not fair, the past several years have more than proven that to me.
But it is what we make of it. I’ve got “stuff” that can be sold, I think I can dig us out of this, although the cost is going to be high.
Well, right now, I am not doing to have that drink. I am going to try and make this all work. I would appreciate prayers for strength and guidance.
I might even hit a meeting today…..
Thanks for reading
I quit going to meetings, again, for several reasons. I've got more than a decade sober, worked the program as hard as I could the first few years.
Not going to whine too much about what happened, life on life’s terms can be a challenge, as we all know.
For the past year or so, I have been in business for myself and doing fairly well, but felt I wanted to return to the industry I was in for 25 years.
I took the steps, and have the chance to do it, albeit in a outsides sales position, I've been a "ops guy" for most of my time in the industry, but felt I was strong in customer support and I have (had?) the product knowledge.
My plan is to keep my own business going, I think my wife and I can do it, and start the new position.
My first sponsor, Cowboy Larry, was a hard ass. One of the things he told me was to turn all of my bills over to my wife, and that he hoped she spent everything I had.
I did not have much, in fact, we were in great debt. When my 25 year career ended, I used the severance and 401K to pay off all of our debt. That was cool, and up until yesterday, my wife still had full control of the bills and finances.
It felt good being debt free, and this new job would require a fair investment in expenses, I had no major concerns.
I will be driving several hundred miles a week, I have to pay for the expenses but they will be tax deductible. I do that now for my own business, I thought it would be manageable.
Over the past several years, I asked how we were doing financially, and especially focused on the debt issue - I was always told we were current and debt free - yippee!
One day at the post office, I learned my wife tried to open a PO box.
I asked, she made up a B-S story.
I started checking the mail - found a credit card bill, in her name, with over $10,000.00 in debt
Beyond pissed, I was.
Also had to have some dental work done, a bridge broke and the dentist fixed it. I expected the bill to be a grand or so, it arrived yesterday, $4000.00
And as most of you know, when it rains, it pours. Of course, there was more...
Last night my wife and I spend hours going over all of the expenses, the bills, I am not sure we have them all, but probably 90% of them.
It’s going to be a battle, a challenge, I did not need this especially when I am (was?) looking at a major career change.
It’s been a long, long time since I wanted to drink, to just run away and drink, but you know what, I’ve had those thoughts.
Life is not fair, the past several years have more than proven that to me.
But it is what we make of it. I’ve got “stuff” that can be sold, I think I can dig us out of this, although the cost is going to be high.
Well, right now, I am not doing to have that drink. I am going to try and make this all work. I would appreciate prayers for strength and guidance.
I might even hit a meeting today…..
Thanks for reading
And the walls.....
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 81
Sometimes just talking about what ever it is seems to do more than we give it credit for.
I do know this, taking a drink or using will not make anything better.
Material things come, material things go.
I care far more for the personal relationship with my wife of 30 years to let a bump in the road like this cause a crash -
Ohmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
I do know this, taking a drink or using will not make anything better.
Material things come, material things go.
I care far more for the personal relationship with my wife of 30 years to let a bump in the road like this cause a crash -
Ohmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,438
Hey Steve
I'm sorry that things kind of ambushed you there.
The best way sometimes is to break things up into little pieces and keep chewing I think.
I think you have your priorities right too, for what it's worth....you will get through this, and sober
D
I'm sorry that things kind of ambushed you there.
The best way sometimes is to break things up into little pieces and keep chewing I think.
I think you have your priorities right too, for what it's worth....you will get through this, and sober
D
Member
Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 3,777
Oh man, I am sorry that you are experiencing this. That is quite a lot of money all at once. You have written some powerful stuff here. You are using all your tools of health and not self destructing. Even in the hardest of times we can remain sober, getting through the crap and coming out on the otherside. All of this will work out. One foot in front of the other.
And the walls.....
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 81
Thanks everyone - and as we all know, sometimes it takes a lot of manure to grow a good garden!
One bite at a time is oh so true -
And to act, not react! To me, that means I can think about this for a few days, many times it takes me that long to come up with a workable plan.
Just found another credit card that was supposed to have $2000.00 in car repairs on it, it was actually double due to some other little purchases by my sweetie.
When it rains, it pours - either enjoy it, pull out your umbrella or go inside! We can't change the rain, only how we deal with it. We can use tools to see when it is coming, and avoid it if we want.
But sometimes, "rain" happens.
Thanks again, ODAAT!
One bite at a time is oh so true -
And to act, not react! To me, that means I can think about this for a few days, many times it takes me that long to come up with a workable plan.
Just found another credit card that was supposed to have $2000.00 in car repairs on it, it was actually double due to some other little purchases by my sweetie.
When it rains, it pours - either enjoy it, pull out your umbrella or go inside! We can't change the rain, only how we deal with it. We can use tools to see when it is coming, and avoid it if we want.
But sometimes, "rain" happens.
Thanks again, ODAAT!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: New York
Posts: 35,731
Originally Posted by gr8fl2aa 
When it rains, it pours - either enjoy it, pull out your umbrella or go inside! We can't change the rain, only how we deal with it. We can use tools to see when it is coming, and avoid it if we want.
But sometimes, "rain" happens.
Take good care.
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