myhealth

after years of alcohol and drug debauchery i found myself deeply depressed, lonely and scared.

I grew up in a broken home with one older brother and 4 younger sisters, parents who drank heavily, a physically abusive enviroment, other forms of abuse from extended family members, in the lower class demographic of New Zealand.

I lost my father in 2010 to lung cancer, a sister to suicide in 2008, an attempted suicide by my brother back in 1998 (i found him OD'd and took him to the hospital, thank god they were able to revive him), along with a multitude of other events and turned to the bottle and drugs to console me.

I blamed a lot of my upbringing for my vices but now see that I had total control of my emotions and being.

I THOUGHT i had it under control, but after the weekends antics, i know i have to be stronger, if not for me then to be a better role model for my children.

bunty

Hi my health, thanks for sharing. I think that is what finally did it for me. My son.
Try and keep us updated, I have noticed it helps . All the best

bigsombrero

Thanks for sharing. Sometimes it feels "freeing" to realize we all have that personal choice, isn't it?

elhadley

Gnarly story. I can relate. Your truly a miracle. Pass the miracle on to the others.

myhealth

thanks bunty, will do

it really is, everything is a choice or decision, even making no decision is a decision in its own way

thanks mate, am living to help others, anyway i can

myhealth

An evertful weekend, learned something - Things got a little crazy when my fiance and I had a couple "disagreements" though. The NON-solution was to say "F this" and go to the pub, instead we took some time apart ( i went to the gym), we had a moment to ourselves then came back and discussed the core issues.

Friday night we didnt get much sleep at all due to our daughter having a virus so was up sick most of the night (we got about 4 hours sleep) then had to take our kids to the zoo (a promise we made last week), so by midday we were STUFFED! We both became irritable and edgy. An early night was planned but again my daughter was ill. Sunday we had a lot to do, besides our general house duties. The irratibility go the best of us and a normal disagreement turned into a full scale war.
The OLD me wouldve left and went to either a friends house or the pub and hit the drink, instead i took what ever frustrations i had (and the last bit of energy) out in the gym. An hour later i came home and we sorted it all out.

Lesson learned - NO AMOUNT OF ALCOHOL WILL SOLVE A PROBLEM AT HOME, it takes maturity, communication and love.

myhealth

The weekend started off on the wrong foot. I spent Thursday, Friday and Saturday morning with my sister and mother on the Gold Coast. I had to get away and allow my fiance time to think and decide whether she wanted this relationship to work or for us to cut our losses and part ways.

We were in constant contact, especially as i needed to be in contact with our daughter. During the conversations i think she could tell that this wasnt any usual argument, that it was up to her to make it work. I'd made massive changes along the way to aid her needs but she took it all for granted and began being selfish, short tempered and (very) easily frustrated.

We spoke on saturday morning and she taken upon herself to start looking after her physical, mental and emotional health. She'd booked training in for herself, started taking supplements again (she has an iron deficiency & is also struggling with our current situation), looking into nurition (to suit her needs) and is going to communicate more about what she is thinking and feeling.

I returned home to a happy, positive and confident fiance. We had a great saturday night and sunday. Im living one day at a time!

newhope01

Hello Myhealth and welcome to SR! Have you tried posting in the newcomer forum? I think you may get more replies to your comments that way.

Anyway, awesome job on staying sober through all turmoil and happy to read that things are working out between you and your fiance.