A year later after finding this site
 

Almost a year ago, I was at my worst ever. I had been abusing substances and alcohol since the age of 16 - going from one extreme to the next. Alcohol was always my safety net though. I could always stop a potentially life threatening habit with the aid of Alcohol. But I had no safety net for alcohol. For the past 16 years, I have managed to stay away from drugs, but the alcohol abuse went from bad to worse.

By last year this time, I was in such a bad way that my body could not function without alcohol. My nervous system was shot! Could not even type on a keyboard properly - let alone sign my own name. My blood presure was sky high. My ankles and feet were like water balloons. The night I found this site on google, I was suffering severe heart palpitations and felt like I was dying. I had finished a litre of scotch - which had done nothing but make me feel worse.

I read through symptoms, went through testimonies of others on this forum and decided IT IS TIME! In the morning, I set up an appointment for an assessment at a rehab centre and was advised to book myself in imediately.

On the 23 January this year, I booked myself into the centre for a 3 week rehabilitation process. It was the most difficult thing I have ever made myself go through, but with determination, effort and a lot of learning (about myself especially), I have managed to stay sober since the day I was admitted.

Just needed to share that, as I still have ups and downs - mostly in-fighting inside my mind. All the years of substance and alcohol abuse has wreaked havoc inside my mind as to who I really am. It's like I have two personalities which hate each other and the one blames the other for how I feel inside. But I somehow manage to preoccupy myself until things settle down which is what I am doing now.

Just thought I would put it out there. This is my 1st post since signing up a couple of months ago - I am not too good at communicating, but am working on it slowly. Things will keep getting better. I am sure of it. I just hope I have the strength though. There are times it feels like I just don't (like now) but I have to keep reminding myself of how far I have come since January.

Well done on your sober time!!:scoregood Keep on keepin' on.:)

By last year this time, I was just gaving a class.