BJsLittleGirl

A year ago I realized that the company I where had worked for 30 years was going under. As I became more and more afraid, I began drinking every night--something I hadn't done before. Even when I would decide not to drink and would go to bed sober, I would lay there feeling so frightened and anxious about being unemployed that I would begin to feel truly panicky. I started getting up after my husband went to bed and getting a shot of whiskey. It immediately calmed me. Eventually I stopped trying not to drink and started just pouring the shot early in the evening, knowing that I would need it to keep the panic at bay. Here it is a year later. I am running out of unemployment, 10 lbs heavier, bloated, and still panicky at night. I finally admitted to myself that the medicine was also the poison. But every night is a white knuckle struggle to choke down the feeling of doom without relying on my old "friend," JD.
When does the depression and panic lift?

Redmayne

I've no immediate solution to those externalevents affecting your lifeat themoment, that mainlyseem centered on the potential for becoming unemployed. Nor is it my position to declare you an ,'alcoholic',that's way above my pay grade.

What I can say, without fear of contradiction are that two things often blight peoples lives, especially alcoholics, they are ungrounded and unfounded fear, add to this that most of these fears arise out of concerns, real or imagined in areas affecting our social standing, our security, our ambitions or our personal orsexual relationships. See page 65 of the book,'Alcoholics Anonymous' 4th Ed.

Now whilst for very obvious reasons, neither I or anyone else here can deal with those matters here, other than provide help and support, but as regards your question, one thing I'm sure of is that your friend???? JD, isn't helping.

A determination to positively change your perspective on life by making a calm realistic assessment of your life and it's circumstances. Either on your own, with family, friends or a counsellor and, alcoholic or not following the suggested 12 Step programme of A.A. will, not might, eventually provide an answer to your question, with the proviso that you underake it with an open heart and an open mind and thoroughly follow the 12 Step programme.

The other thing me and your friend, JD can promise you is that if you continue in your present state, it'll get a lot, lot worse!

Without even any attempt by you to get better. Until eventually the time that you were able to,'worry about becoming unemployed' will seem like a luxury compared to your existence as an alcoholic! This, I and many other recovering alcoholics on this site, guarantee, and if you don't believe me, ask, ok.