MandyPants

I've been in recovery now for 15 months. Three nights ago I had one of my drunk dreams. The dreams seem to be fewer and far between these last 6 months but they still happen from time to time. Since having the dream I have thought about what it would be like to have a drink or just see if I could handle a drink. 15 months is the most time I have ever been sober...most other attempts only lasted a few days or 3 weeks is the longest actually I ever went. Maybe I'm just having one of those days where the thoughts will pass and I will soldier on in my recover. Just how will I know that I can not handle alcohol again unless I try.

My brain keeps repeating the same thoughts and maybe excuses too:

"I quit because I was in a bad place at the time (abusive boyfriend) -

--- I am now single and ready to mingle

"Because I am single and ready to mingle I am nervous about telling my new potential partner that I don't drink"

---Are they gonna head for the hills?

"Maybe, just maybe this time will be different. Maybe I can have the glass of wine with an Italian cuisine or a beer with my chicken wings while watching Sunday football"

---But then again maybe not...how do you know unless you try or live to see another day sober?

****I am interested in a dialogue about relapse and some tips or motivational things others have to say. I am in no way going to cash in my chips so easily.***

least

I get thoughts of drinking once in a while. I'm ready for them however as I have a clear memory of the last time going thru w/d two years ago and how sick I was. I have a clear memory of how much I hated myself and my life. I remember waking up every morning wishing I were dead...

And those memories are enough to knock any drinking thoughts right out of my head. I am pleased with my sober life and want it to continue. I just automatically remind myself of how miserable I was when I was drinking. And I know know beyond a doubt that I can NEVER have just one glass of wine... and I'm happy with that.

Dee74

Welcome to SR Mandy

I think most of us have had those feelings from time to time...

but don't you think, if most of your other attempts only lasted a few days to 3 weeks before this, you've already tested the 'can I have one drink' hypothesis enough?.

I find the support I get here...both posting and reading...helps me stay 'grounded'.

Good to have you with us too

D