That's it, I'm done...'
Redmayne
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Manchester, England, UK.
Posts: 1,543
That's it, I'm done...'
That's it, I'm done, the Sobriety Calendar tells me it is now 1285 days since I was relieved of my alcholism, today the equinox moves into my star sign,Virgo marking the start of my 65th year and on the date of my birthday the 15th of Sept. the date of my 'official' retirement, which in the UK means I have reached state retirement age.
So what has life brought me thus far, two failed marriages, two daughters now estranged from me, their choice, although I played an active role in their lives until their late teens, early twenties, my alcoholism was not yet then in full flood. A son, who I raised by myself as an unsupported , single parent, now doing very well as a university educated , professional musician with a partner and my beautiful grandson, now a year old and who's christening we celebrated last weekend.
Four professional careers, best described as carried out in the service of my country, my community and those who serve my country.
A couple of succesful stints at university, the first in my mid fifties not only in my interest in the subject of education, but qualifying me to teach in Higher, Further and Adult education, the second undertaken to see if, in my sobriety my brain still functioned and I could produce assignments requiring extended writing over the period, 12 months, of the course.
Of course the greatest achievement of all this time was finding out,even though it happened without my permission, was hitherto unknown in myfamily was that, after thirty years drinking, that I was a ,'real alcoholic' - see Chapter 3 of the book,'Alcoholics Anonymous', 4th Ed. and then learning to accept it and following the suggested 12 Step programnme, attempting to make spiritual progress on a daily basis, something which I still do today and which is now so much part of my life for as much as my daily intake of ,'my drug of choice' was for 30 or so yrs.
In this I have found great freedom and serenity, so that now I can enter my ,'third age' unfettered by anything from the past, and be my ,'true self' in the sight of those who surround me, and more importantly the god of my understanding, just as it's described in the penultimate para. on p.164 of the previously referred to,'Big Book'.
So, that's it, I'm done...done with the triumphs and disasters of the past, which afforded me a 'rich', full life, filled with experiential learning.A life lead, which the late and eminent psychologist, Carl Rogers theorised that would have me as a 'fully, functioning person', jury's still out on that one!
What I'm not done with now and never will be is the recognition and acceptance that I am an alcoholic. I know my illness and the necessary steps to deal with it, for I like many others will never be cured, on a daily basis. Found in my aiming to make spiritual progress on a daily basis in simple christian beliefs in the god of my understanding, enhanced with an a knowledge of and adherance to fundamental buddhist principles, 'The Four Noble Truths' have much to say on the subject of ,'suffering', which works for me... and which I'd heartily recommend to anyone who cares to try it.
So what has life brought me thus far, two failed marriages, two daughters now estranged from me, their choice, although I played an active role in their lives until their late teens, early twenties, my alcoholism was not yet then in full flood. A son, who I raised by myself as an unsupported , single parent, now doing very well as a university educated , professional musician with a partner and my beautiful grandson, now a year old and who's christening we celebrated last weekend.
Four professional careers, best described as carried out in the service of my country, my community and those who serve my country.
A couple of succesful stints at university, the first in my mid fifties not only in my interest in the subject of education, but qualifying me to teach in Higher, Further and Adult education, the second undertaken to see if, in my sobriety my brain still functioned and I could produce assignments requiring extended writing over the period, 12 months, of the course.
Of course the greatest achievement of all this time was finding out,even though it happened without my permission, was hitherto unknown in myfamily was that, after thirty years drinking, that I was a ,'real alcoholic' - see Chapter 3 of the book,'Alcoholics Anonymous', 4th Ed. and then learning to accept it and following the suggested 12 Step programnme, attempting to make spiritual progress on a daily basis, something which I still do today and which is now so much part of my life for as much as my daily intake of ,'my drug of choice' was for 30 or so yrs.
In this I have found great freedom and serenity, so that now I can enter my ,'third age' unfettered by anything from the past, and be my ,'true self' in the sight of those who surround me, and more importantly the god of my understanding, just as it's described in the penultimate para. on p.164 of the previously referred to,'Big Book'.
So, that's it, I'm done...done with the triumphs and disasters of the past, which afforded me a 'rich', full life, filled with experiential learning.A life lead, which the late and eminent psychologist, Carl Rogers theorised that would have me as a 'fully, functioning person', jury's still out on that one!
What I'm not done with now and never will be is the recognition and acceptance that I am an alcoholic. I know my illness and the necessary steps to deal with it, for I like many others will never be cured, on a daily basis. Found in my aiming to make spiritual progress on a daily basis in simple christian beliefs in the god of my understanding, enhanced with an a knowledge of and adherance to fundamental buddhist principles, 'The Four Noble Truths' have much to say on the subject of ,'suffering', which works for me... and which I'd heartily recommend to anyone who cares to try it.
Redmayne
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Manchester, England, UK.
Posts: 1,543
I hope you get inspiration from my post....
I hope you get inspiration from my post and thankyou for your kind remarks, to add to this in my personal journey there were various key moments, not only reciognition but acceptance that I was an alcoholic, making a decision to hand mylife and will over to the god of my understanding, some people say that in doing that you 'surrender' control of your own life, not so, what comes from this is returned to you in sobriety and making sincere efforts to make spiritual progress on a daily basis.
So I hope this bears well for you and anyone else who reads it.
So I hope this bears well for you and anyone else who reads it.
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