Roostah

Feeling so small. (I know, AIC lyrics, they ring so true, especially coming from a man the let his addiction take his life)

My self pride and being flat out stubborn has lead me here. After what I went through to get sober, one would think I should know that getting help is the smart thing to do.

I'm a little over two years sober after one crazy rollercoaster ride with alcoholism. The first year and a half of being sober, things were fantastic, but I am finding myself more and more bored as time goes by.

Right now, I am ... depressed, lost, and fear my marriage is about to end.

I do, however, feel better reading some of the threads in here. It's nice to know I'm not as alone as I feel.

invisigoth

Glad to have you with us, We've all had our ups and downs my advice to you is just to stick around and talk about whatever's bothering you. It's been my experience that just getting things off your chest can sometimes do wonders.

Roostah

Thanks. I think my major dilemma is the fact that nobody around me wants to hear what I have on my mind. Which is really sad, because it was at the insistence of my immediate circle of friends and family that I quit using.

43395

Hi, nice to see you here I hope you can identify and find the help and support we all need here, I'm sure you will. For me then having been sober all but 1month of 3 yrs, apart from the benefits of enjoying the physical, mental and material benefits of sobriety, on the ,'flip' side comes the difficulty of learning to live , not only in sobriety but in reality. That, as in Buddhism, being a ,'human being' is the second highest position you can achieve in the ,'Realm of the Spirit'.Ever tried being a ,'human being', it's really difficult?

So for me then in not just being sober but learning to live in reality I had to change my perspective, achieved like sobriety through ,'acceptance' , great progress will be made in learning that most people live ,'boring, monotonous, repititous existences' which is why they seek to escape in , alcohol, drugs or other more pleasant, enjoyable , constructive activities. The sad fact is that all these bring no permanent relief, I think we'd all agree with that! So how is that to be achieved, by , in my case,'enlarging your spirituality' e.g. to the guidance in the suggested 12 steps I added through trial, error and understanding fundemental Buddhist principles as a base, keeping an open mind and being always ready to listen and learn from someone else. There may be other short term constructive activities that ,'lift' me but enlarging my spirituality is my one ,'constant' that will always be there.

Living in sobriety is not easy, especially for me after 30 yrs of being an alcoholic, I found the words on p275, 'The Keys of the Kingdom' (Alcoholics Anonymous 4th Ed.) thats tarts in the second paragraph,'A.A. is not a plan for recovery, ....' of great help, may be you will to, I hope so.

43395

As an afterword to my previous response to this ,'thread', ,'Living in sobriety' for me means, in practical terms avoiding ,'self will' a negative quality that will only have one outcome!

The other ,'destructive' trait is becoming a ,'dry drunk' achieved through failing toenlarge or even having no ,'spirituality' a quality which cannot be taught but has to be learned.

'Dry drunks' are like alcoholics, spend time in their company and they just become boring, monotonous and repititious individuals who's company people seek to avoid!