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What I don't miss. . . . . . .

Old 12-11-2009, 10:35 AM
  # 21 (permalink)  
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I don't miss the fear that always surrounded me. Fear that I couldn't control myself. Fear I could not resist going out to buy more booze. Fear of police, fear of friends, fear of myself, fear of life itself.

I don't have to fear now. What a glorious feeling it is to start each day with a smile, hope, and enthusiasm.

J.
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Old 12-18-2009, 06:25 PM
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What a great post! I loved all the "I don`t miss" s.

I don`t miss:
Standing in the shower in the morning and groaning to myself because I feel horribly ashamed but can`t quite remember what I have done but can remember brief flashes of things, all of which make me cringe.
Counting all the bruises in the morning.
The shocking hangover everyday.
The feeling somehow at work that I was like a kid wearing my mom`s high heels and I didn`t deserve to be where I was because I was wasted every single night, even though I was high functioning in the day (or so I THOUGHT)
The inability to get anything done.
The lack of time I always seemed to have (I have SO much more time now!)
The inability to make any arrangements in the evening or answer my phone in the evenings because I was too drunk or stoned at least an hour after getting home.
The Acid indigestion, upset stomach and vomiting.
All the rubbish I used to eat and not remember eating it.
Not brushing my teeth before "going to bed" (passing out more like it!)
Waking up at 4AM feeling like death and unable to go back to sleep. Wanting to go get another drink but knowing I have to go to work in a few hours.
The horrible bad moods and screaming at everyone in my house in the mornings.
All the fears and resentments that are leaving me as I work my programme.

Those are most of the things I DON`T miss....phew, by the grace of God go I. I am so grateful to be sober.
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Old 12-21-2009, 12:22 AM
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Thanks and I sure dont miss coming to feeling sick and used up, busted disgusten dand not to be trusted. Dont miss crawling around getting codeine and efferdrine into so I could go get enough booze to wipe me out when I woudl wake the next morning....

I love waking up, feeling so clear headed and light, with a full day ahead of me.

Thanks NA
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Old 12-21-2009, 09:38 AM
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When I said,'I paid my dues' at AA meetings I was talking metaphorically. NOT practically.
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Old 12-26-2009, 11:28 PM
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Thanks Michael for starting this thread.

I dont miss waking up with bruises next day feeling ashamed.
I dont miss trading my body for drugs even if it was my ex-bf.
I dont miss getting home drunk and high.
I dont miss the chaous and mess in my life.
I dont miss the lonliness and isolation.
I dont miss the pity-party and feeling sorry for myself.
I dont miss the hopsital visits and OD's.
I dont miss the look of disgust in my boss's eyes.
I dont miss the nasty withdrawals and the pain of promising myself not to ever use again only to use the very next day.
I dont miss nodding on my desk at work with employees looking at me like I was a freak.
I dont miss the constant worries.
I dont miss the low self esteem and feeling of worthlessness.
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Old 12-26-2009, 11:36 PM
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. . . staring at the clock @ 2Am hoping I can get to sleep because I have to go to work
. . . staring at the clock @ 5Am hoping I don't fall sleep because I have to go to work
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Old 12-26-2009, 11:38 PM
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Originally Posted by 43395 View Post
When I said,'I paid my dues' at AA meetings I was talking metaphorically. NOT practically.
I understood what you were saying.

When reading the book with the guy who took me through the steps, we got to the part in bill's story where it reads "We frequently attend meetings to provide the fellowship the newcomer seeks"

He asked me, "How much longer are you going to be a newcomer?"
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Old 12-28-2009, 08:34 AM
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What I don't miss ... the tired, bloodshot eyes that stared back at me in the mirror. The horror in realizing that I had done it to myself again. The shame, disappointment and wasted time - wasted life.

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Old 12-29-2009, 12:18 PM
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I donnot miss halucinating at work .
I donnot miss the painful withdrawals.
I donnot miss vomiting in my friend's car.
I donnot miss not eating so that I wont throw up.I was throwing up daily and at the I thought I had a liver disease.
I donnot miss the confusion and feeling of worthlessnes.
I donnot miss using alone in my room. Eventually I spent all my time alone.
I donnot miss the feeling of being nobody.
I donnot miss the fact that I couldnot plan any event ahead of time because I would never know whether I was in withdrawals or high.
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Old 12-29-2009, 12:38 PM
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I don't miss waking up in the morning with that nasty taste in my mouth. Knowing I have to go work. So the ol' "morning cover-up kit" of toothpaste, gatorade, mouthwash, visine, and cologne. All in an attempt to "hide" my illness to get through the day to come home at night to do it all over again.
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Old 12-29-2009, 05:27 PM
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I don't miss not being able to drive. I don't miss driving when I shouldn't.

I don't miss liquor stores and the people that work there. Lovely people, but the familiarity was, ahem, uncomfortable. I don't miss having to pretend that I didn't know them, despite seeing them every goddamn day.

I don't miss the panicky feeling I got when explaining what I did on the weekend or the night before. I couldn't tell the truth, and I didn't even have it in me to make up a good lie.

I don't miss hangovers.

I don't miss the hassle of getting rid of the evidence from the crime - getting rid of bottles.
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Old 01-06-2010, 06:32 PM
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I don't miss holding the toilet bowl puking and then passing out next to it.
I don't miss dodging my families phone calls because I'm too hungover or drunk to talk.
I don't miss having the reputation of being a worthless drunk.
I don't miss not having any self respect and treating my body like ****.
I don't miss holding my breath when passing my co-workers because I know if I were to let anything out they would smell the alcohol I was trying to cover up.
I don't miss having my family think that I'm going out and getting drunk every time I visit.
I don't miss wondering what I did the night before
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Old 01-07-2010, 02:21 PM
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I don't miss being afraid to open my eyes because I'm not sure where or with whom I passed out
I don't miss guilt
I don't miss hangovers
I don't miss self loathing
I don't miss shame and embarassment
I don't miss not remembering anything
I don't miss a darn thing about drinking
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Old 01-07-2010, 02:28 PM
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I don't miss the thinking.

"okay if I leave here at 4:25 then I can run to the liquor store and just grab a couple of coolers that will leave me with $12.00 to last me to payday then I can go get the kids and I won't start drinking until they are sleeping and I'll hide it in the closet and I need to call my mom first just in case I start slurring hold on maybe I should get a 6 pack and that way I'll have some for tomorrow too and I know that I won't drink them all and then I can start drinking when the kid is in the shower and I'll add some clamato and she won't know and whatever I do I won't call the dealer but it doesn't matter b/c I have no money but he'll spot me anyway but I WON'T call him..................."
Every freaking day. 9/10 I called the dealer. 5/10 I didn't make it to work. 4/10 I was a crappy mom.
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Old 01-07-2010, 06:51 PM
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What I don't miss

That's beautiful....

I don't miss waking up to a guy whose name I barely knew and wondering what the heck did i do last night?

i don't miss waking up in a fog and wishing i was dead.......


I don't miss getting evicted, getting fired, having to wonder where im going to get money to eat and how i'm going to live.

I don't miss the old me..........

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Old 02-16-2010, 04:32 PM
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I don't miss the insanity.
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Old 02-16-2010, 04:39 PM
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I don't miss the shame and the sickness.
I don't miss the money wasted.
I don't miss waking up feeling like hell.
I don't miss the irresponsibility of my behavior.

I don't miss my drinking life at all.
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Old 03-05-2010, 07:08 AM
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I don't miss the dirty and messy house..............
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Old 03-05-2010, 12:56 PM
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I don't miss the money spent. So much money.
I don't miss never being motivated to do anything other than drink.
I don't miss feeling and looking like hell every day.
I don't miss being the one that gets totally out of control drunk when I drink at bars/clubs.
I don't miss the embarassement.
I don't miss not being able to remember 90% of the evening before.
I don't miss neglecting my friends/family members because I was too intoxicated to talk on the phone or didn't want to get together because I'd rather get f*cked up.
I don't miss the clerks where I used to regularly buy wine giving me that *look* when I showed up every day to buy a couple of bottles.
I don't miss having to take out trash twice as often because it filled up with wine bottles so fast.
I don't miss getting the bare minimum accomplished at work.
I don't miss not caring about myself or my life.
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Old 03-05-2010, 10:30 PM
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I don't miss having that second job (a professional practicing alcoholic).
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