where am i? i dont really know anymore
 

it seems like everyone hates me, im alone and unwanted, my boyfriend left me (but that had nothing to do with me being a drunk loser, he's worse than me).. about 24 hours ago my parents made me go to the hospital cause i was throwing up blood, probably from staying up all night drinking straight jack daniels by myself and taking acid.. i got home from the hospital and went to sleep like they told me too... now its almost 4 am and im alone again and i still feel sick

Take care of yourself, girl. Now is probably not the best time to be thinking of the past... Be careful, alcohol withdrawal is not something to play with...

:hug:

i really feel for you, there are people who will help you if you explain your situation, i think from experience getting help through medication is better cos going cold turkey is really hard, i mananged it but it was really difficult. remember you are not alone, we are all here on this site because we want to stop drinking,but try not to do it alone, once you admit the problem and seek help you would not believe how many people out there want to help you, as they have gone through the same experience x

Don't hate yourself
 

This is something you did, not who you are. You need some help right now, and believe it or not, it's not a bad thing. I've recently had to come to grips with the fact that I can't handle alcohol. Can I regain some sense of self-worth? I have to to be any good to anyone. You can too. You, you are important.:You_Rock_

What's all this about being alone, you've got your friends, Alchol and Narcotics, these two are really good friends, stay with you 'til death, they'll even cause it! Then again, supposing that you might, just might not want to happen why don't you look for a new friend, someone you choose, wouldn't that be nice, maybe call him/she or it, the God of your understanding, Wow. So where do you find he/she or it, well if you look they'll be waiting at the bottom of the steps. What steps? The 12 Steps of Recovery at the top of this page, they can be as steep or as gentle as you and your new friend want them to be but you've got to take them together and they are not an escalator. If you climb these together your friendship will grow and like a lot of friendships turn into love and you'll never be alone. Your other two 'friends', I wouldn't worry about, they'll have gone off to pick on somebody else, sadly that person will end up like you are now, sad,sick and all alone, so may be in time you'll be able to help them just as we are all trying to help you.:You_Rock_

LSD and alcohol, coughing up blood. Wow. That must have been weird. I've been pummled to the ground by 8 police officers on psychedlics and also wrestling with security guards at the mental prison (I mean hospital) on a strng dose of Jesus Christ LSD, but I've never seen myself puke blood. I'm sorry you feel hated and alone. I sometimes still feel this way, and I've recently been suffering massive depression from being heartbroken/dumped, unrequited love, and I almost died from a suicide attempt from that, thinking I was rewriting shakespeare. Maybe some out there truly loves you , and u just haven't met them yet. If love is what you need to be balanced happy like me, don't give up. You might never find him, but the quest is worth living for. The next problem isn't whether anybody else loves you, but if you have enough love to give yourself in order not to destroy your body, and eventually your soul. Heck, I love you. For the courage that it takes to be human and question your very own nature, I love you. Love yourself! Love is the answer. Hang in there, there is sooo much to look forward to;)