It appears I've "Recovered"!
Alcoholic
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Calais Maine
Posts: 37
It appears I've "Recovered"!
"Our stories disclose in a general way what we used to be like, what happened, and what we are like now." BB pg 58
I quote the above passage to remind myself that I don't want to do a drunk-a-log. It's about my Being not my actions...
What I used to be like: After almost 40 years of drinking and 30 years of trying to beat my alcoholism, I had given up all hope of ever getting sober. I had lost everything worth while to me. I believed that I had wasted a human life, mine. I just wanted to die and get it all over with. Sooner rather than later - thank you.
What happened: I was reading the 4th edition of the BB and thinking - same old crap, wrote at a sixth grade level, this stuff never did work for me, bla bla bla... At the end of a new story "Save Haven" that was added to the forth edition I read "From experience, I've realized that I cannot go back and make a brand-new start. But through A.A., I can start from now and make a brand-new end." It's hard to put into words; however, I was struck with the thought that if I did everything in my power to get and stay sober just maybe I wouldn't have to go down a DRUNK. I felt as though the booze problem was lifted out of me right then. It seemed that as long as I was willing to do the best that I could everything was going to be all right. As it has proved to be -- I have been clean and sober for over a year now!
What I am like now: What can I say... First, I am just so amazed that apparently I have escaped the insanity of alcoholism! It warms my heart so much to have regained a relationship with my daughter. I thought that had been destroyed beyond repair. I enjoy sponsoring other guys now. I have a spiritual connection to the world that I don't believe I ever had (although I'm not claiming to have any understanding of that yet - it may all be to much for my head anyways). I just know that "the end of my story has changed"!
I've just moved out of the Maine woods after living in a camp without electricity or running water for two years. My sister loaned me a laptop and I am sucking off the neighbor's wireless system. I was surprised to find out that I had joined this site back in 06. It's looking good! Enough for now, I look forward to getting to know all of you.
Another amazing thing, my twin brother and I lived in that camp together, had our last drink together, and have gone thru this process together, and have gotton the same results! Is that odd or is that God?
P.S. In the title notice I said Recovered not Cured!
I quote the above passage to remind myself that I don't want to do a drunk-a-log. It's about my Being not my actions...
What I used to be like: After almost 40 years of drinking and 30 years of trying to beat my alcoholism, I had given up all hope of ever getting sober. I had lost everything worth while to me. I believed that I had wasted a human life, mine. I just wanted to die and get it all over with. Sooner rather than later - thank you.
What happened: I was reading the 4th edition of the BB and thinking - same old crap, wrote at a sixth grade level, this stuff never did work for me, bla bla bla... At the end of a new story "Save Haven" that was added to the forth edition I read "From experience, I've realized that I cannot go back and make a brand-new start. But through A.A., I can start from now and make a brand-new end." It's hard to put into words; however, I was struck with the thought that if I did everything in my power to get and stay sober just maybe I wouldn't have to go down a DRUNK. I felt as though the booze problem was lifted out of me right then. It seemed that as long as I was willing to do the best that I could everything was going to be all right. As it has proved to be -- I have been clean and sober for over a year now!
What I am like now: What can I say... First, I am just so amazed that apparently I have escaped the insanity of alcoholism! It warms my heart so much to have regained a relationship with my daughter. I thought that had been destroyed beyond repair. I enjoy sponsoring other guys now. I have a spiritual connection to the world that I don't believe I ever had (although I'm not claiming to have any understanding of that yet - it may all be to much for my head anyways). I just know that "the end of my story has changed"!
I've just moved out of the Maine woods after living in a camp without electricity or running water for two years. My sister loaned me a laptop and I am sucking off the neighbor's wireless system. I was surprised to find out that I had joined this site back in 06. It's looking good! Enough for now, I look forward to getting to know all of you.
Another amazing thing, my twin brother and I lived in that camp together, had our last drink together, and have gone thru this process together, and have gotton the same results! Is that odd or is that God?
P.S. In the title notice I said Recovered not Cured!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: appleton, WI
Posts: 65
isn't it funny how a simple quote can give hope a whole new meaning, or in some cases, raise it from the dead. the one that did it for me is; 'alcohol is a cunning enemy of life'. since hearing my sponsor say those words i haven't looked at my alcohol abuse the same. in my case, drinking amounted to nothing more than me trying to kill myself. some people choose a noose, others go with a pistol...i chose alcohol. i knew it was killing me. sadly thats what kept drawing me back to it. i remember being on hundreds of binges and hoping that every one of them would be my last. the one that finally made my liver explode or the one that finally burned a hole in my throat.
luckily, i realized i wanted to live before it was too late. sobriety is a second chance at life. it's not easy. i crave alcohol every day but i'm told that will pass. whenever i find myself wanting to drink i remind myself that to do so would be the same as putting a gun to my head or jumping off a bridge. there is happiness to be found in life. you can't really say the same about death.
luckily, i realized i wanted to live before it was too late. sobriety is a second chance at life. it's not easy. i crave alcohol every day but i'm told that will pass. whenever i find myself wanting to drink i remind myself that to do so would be the same as putting a gun to my head or jumping off a bridge. there is happiness to be found in life. you can't really say the same about death.
Galatians 5:13
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Tampa Bay
Posts: 329
"Is that odd or is that God?" That is my new favorite saying! I read your words and have to wonder if you're too confident in only a year of sobriety. I am nobody to judge. I do, however, feel like my sobriety might be easier than I thought the more I look at changing my life from today forward rather than looking to change anything in the past. The best of luck and I hope all of those you come across are helped as greatly as it seems you were.
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