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My 35th Anniversary Today My favorite poet is ee cummings...practical, Harvard educated, his poems right to the point... In one of his poems, a soldier ready to be executed, utters a favorite line,,, There is some s**t, I will not eat. That's the way I feel today my 35th anniversary of sobriety. Sober since my first meeting of AA..Jan 12, 1974...a regular and continuous meeting goer. The question is how did I get here...Well I got hear because I was banned from Recovery chat..the chat room and message board ....I wrote them,expressing my feeling of anger and disguist...If this ATTITUDE, and the strong honest expresion of my message, always in good taste gets me banned HERE AS WELL, please reference the aforementioned sentiment. I will not compromise AA principle. Some might read this..and be tempted to take a cheap shot but remember I didn't get 35 years of sobriety playing to the choir. Yes I am angry and human..but will get over it sober. Enclosed is the E-mail sent today to the site that was undeliverable. Today is my 35th AA anniversay of continuous sobriety and I think it is absolutely incredible and speaks a lot about the quality of the site to be banned both from the chat room and the message board...Several of my postings became quite long..because of malicious offpoint angry remarks...or needing clarification or redirect to those openminded not quite understanding the point. I never backed away from my central point. Nor was there any bad or suggesive wording or intent. There was nothing presented that wasn't in good taste and right to the point.. and helpful to other recovering alcoholics from MY EXPERIENCE..as only someone of long term sobriety capable of doing so There is a certain type of person, a personality who takes great pleasure in having some personal and subjective control.. the power to punish..a mild form of sadism which is how I chracterize the monitors or monitors who hit a toggle switch to ban someone because what they see may not be personally satisfying..or pressure from others..political allies in their little game. It becomes political not principled...and I think you should take a long hard look at your practices..examine my messages if necessary, and content for it's practical value in helping others..unlike most if was filled with experience not platitudes from the latest inspiational book one comes across...which can be of value in its own rite because it's one's very recent limited revelation.but represents hope Our primary purpose is to stay sober and help others..with 35 years, highly educated with proven good character...it doesn't make sense or add up..and I think you should take a long hard look at a few people who apparantly control the site to their respective whims..Why..because they can do it..or have been allowed to get away with it.. The point is that there was no objective standard that I violated..without that... you have little more than a mob who were delegated to much subjected control..who wouldn't recognize a principled posting when confronted by it..Their insight extended to the end of their nose with no ability to determine whether the content would be helpful toward others...This is a bad premise to run a site.. People should be applauded by their success not punished...you got it backwards..The nature of the disease demands those applauded help others..not to be thrown out based upon subjective criteria. I was not here to be popular but principled There is no way I would have gotten sober or stayed that way if people early on if meetings I attended had your sites current mind set.. exemplified by your actions toward me.. Tomas |
First of all I would like to reply to my own posting... Second of all make it clear it wasn't this site that banned me...It was recovery chat.com still have some great friends there and thirdly the posting that got me banned: One young lady with a little over a year of sobriety, was engaging as a sponsor to a woman with the absolute worst background I've ever heard or imagined...I warned her about the possibility of working with a psysopathic personality...by sharing my exprience 20 years ago with someone who turned out to be a serial kiler...and subsequently executed by lethal injection as number 50 on Florida's death row.....The point being some come to AA not to sober up but for other reasons, and listening to what was related about this woman...a red flag went up and I saw bad weather on the so called radar screen and the need to to warn her..This was met with senseless critisism of me, and convoluted arguments..where one was reminded by me that my experience was not debatable...essentially for this I was banned...coupled with complaining about the poor taste..suggestive names of chat goes in the secondary chat room with web cams verging on pornography..complaining about this in chat..without rancor..but making a point that morality associated with recovery needed to be on a high level..When it was apparant no logical comback..They hit the switch and removed me..Of course I got angry ..very angry..it was very unprincipled. How one can get removed by sharing the purity of their AA experience is beond me..and goes against the grain od everything I learned in 35 year that has kept me sober...Thus the eecumings poem came to mind |
Welcome to SR and Congratulations on your long term sobriety! :bday6 I started a thread marking your recovery years Please check out http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ml#post2062876 I hope you will be shareing with us often. |
Tomas, WELCOME to Sober Recovery. Congrats on your 35 years. I know the site you speak of and others just like it. I am not far behind you, and I have dear friend that has been trudgin this road even longer, and we both know very well of what you speak. Especially, connecting through the internet. I personally am always very careful, and try and remind those I know and work with to do so also. I think you will like SR!!!!!! Again WELCOME and CONGRATULATIONS. I hope to see more of your shares. Love and hugs, |
Welcome to SR, and congrats on such an awesome amount of one-day-at-a-times!!!!! Hugs and prayers! Amy |
Sorry I cannot share today...I'm getting ready to crew as a line handler helping another boat cross the Panama Canal..from the Atlantic side to the Pacific. We leave at 3:PM..go through the first lock..early tonite..then anchor out..proceed to the next 2 locks tomorrow and through the Canal this time tomorrow.. Then take a bus trip back tomorrow afernoon..so I need to run today |
I was listening to Stevie Ray Vaughan's AA talk last night on U tube.."that's what he said Imperf.".. Stevie of course the legendary Rock/Blues guitar player..who died in 1990 in a helicopter crash after a concert..I thing he had at least 4 years of sobriety..a great talk in 4 parts.. |
i love e.e. cummings too. :) |
I just sailed from the Atlantic Ocean to the Pacific Ocean in ONE day...No Emimily..not the delusions of a madman.. LOL...I just crossed the Panama Canal in a sailboat. |
I need to be honest with regard to my 35th AA birthday...I received well wishes from people who rad this all of whom I do not know personally... but I did not receove one E mail from those whom I knew throughout the years of my sobriety..I guess I did something wrong..and I do feel sad over it...I guess I could deny it or ignore it..but then I wouldnt be honest or human. |
The winds of change are blowing in my relationship with AA..and other alcoholics What I must always remember...To Thine Own Self Be True. |
Last week when I found this site, on my 35th Anniversary for reasons as stated above, being only human, not having attended an AA meeting in almost a year due to circumstances, you might say I was feeling the Blues...I needed a meeting. I have wireless Internet here in Panama, on my boat. I heard they had AA meetings on U-tube... To my surprise, I was met with a meeting, an AA talk divided into 4 parts...The opening words heard thousands of times before..different names, different personalties but the music has always been the same...and I needed to hear the music...The opening words filled with gratitude and humility..Hi my name is Stevie and I'm a recovering alcoholic and drug addict...It brought such relief and tears to my eyes...I could identify The messenger was the legendary Rock/Blues star...Stevie Ray Vaughan..who died sober and clean, after a concert in a helicopter accident. 1990..I believe SRV had over 5 years of sobriety if I'm not mistaken. In what I believe one of his best...”Life Without You.”.. always a super fan favorite...5 minutes into the song, he talks to the audience. He tells about Drugs, a dead end street, It takes away the love. We all need to help one another, and we got to take care of ourselves first, so we can help others..a great message...Below, I posted this song, it's over 8 minutes. This song lives on in the hearts of his many fans...and I hope in the hearts to his fellow amigos in AA...Thank You Stevie, for the help, and the reminder...that's what it's all about. If It works... the Video follows:..."well worth watching" |
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