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Back in January of this year...

Old 09-11-2008, 11:30 AM
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I got nothin'
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Join Date: Jun 2008
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Back in January of this year...

...Or was it February? Maybe March? See what my mind is like? Everything runs together. All I can remember is that I was a lurker for at least a couple of months before I registered at SR...


I took my first serious attempt at sobriety in mid-January because I couldn't walk up my basement steps without getting winded and my heart rate going crazy. I was also the fattest I’d ever been. I felt like I was slowly killing myself...


Around the time I stumbled onto this site, I was petrified that my drinking had seriously compromised my physical health. I would spend endless hours searching on the internet about various health problems linked to drinking. I was thourghouly convince that I had an enlarged heart and that my sick heart was the reason I was having a ridiculous amount of heart palpitations (skipped beats).

When I wasn't worrying about my heart, I was looking at pictures of cirrhotic livers. After doing that for a while, I went back to the heart and read about heart disease...

I could look in the mirror and imagine what my skin and eyes would look like if I were jaundiced...

Anyways...I found SR when I was really scared. I lurked for a while. I calmed down (a bit). I'm still really worried about my health...I'm one of those "worst case scenario" people...Being that way is bad for your health because of all the unnecessary stress being placed upon the body.

I’ve had several stops and starts with sobriety this year, but I’ve had more sober days by far than days under the influence. As a result of this change, I lost 30 pounds (I need to lose more). I am no longer winded by going up the steps. I went to a doctor about my palpitations and have meds for it (but I don’t take them… I hate pills). Basically, they seem to be pretty harmless for me (Anyone reading this suffering from palpitations please see your doctor--don’t assume that your palpitations are benign.). Most of it’s caused by the worry in my head. They are more annoying than scary at this point. I have good days and bad days.

I ramble…

The end.
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