New to the forums
New to the forums
Hello everyone,
I kinda found this place by accident (or one of those coincident that isn't a coincident.) and am having a ball reading posts. My first experience with recovery was forced upon me at the age of 16 but thank God for liquor and drugs for finally bringing me to a jumping off point of a brand spanking new life.
I have been in and out of AA,NA, and CA for the last 16 years never able to completely give myself to this simple program until June of last year. Hell i was even in contact with a group of people that were all about the 12 steps and nothing more, but even they could not help me till i experienced what it truly meant to be convinced by the pertinent ideas in how it works. This is not the most "time" I have had before but it has been the most happiest time in my life. also can honestly say if I am ever to get loaded again then I cannot discredit the twelve steps or God but can discredit myself. That i truly know that the 9th and 10th step promises are real for me. So if this is all a delusion or I'm crazy then this is the best crazy ive ever been. Thanks all for being active members and allowing me to join you along the path.:ghug3
I kinda found this place by accident (or one of those coincident that isn't a coincident.) and am having a ball reading posts. My first experience with recovery was forced upon me at the age of 16 but thank God for liquor and drugs for finally bringing me to a jumping off point of a brand spanking new life.
I have been in and out of AA,NA, and CA for the last 16 years never able to completely give myself to this simple program until June of last year. Hell i was even in contact with a group of people that were all about the 12 steps and nothing more, but even they could not help me till i experienced what it truly meant to be convinced by the pertinent ideas in how it works. This is not the most "time" I have had before but it has been the most happiest time in my life. also can honestly say if I am ever to get loaded again then I cannot discredit the twelve steps or God but can discredit myself. That i truly know that the 9th and 10th step promises are real for me. So if this is all a delusion or I'm crazy then this is the best crazy ive ever been. Thanks all for being active members and allowing me to join you along the path.:ghug3
Member
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Fresno California
Posts: 1
New to the board
This is so odd for me to sit and type about my feelings. I have been in recovery for 12 years and somewhere I have lost my spirituality I have lost the ability to trust God.I have that empty feeling in my gut and feel all alone.
I am hoping to reach out here and find some peace and giudence to return to the path of freedom from my bondage of self. I need to find serenity in my life.
I am at my wits end and don't want to play lifes game anymore please someone share your experince strength and hope with me.
Ed
I am hoping to reach out here and find some peace and giudence to return to the path of freedom from my bondage of self. I need to find serenity in my life.
I am at my wits end and don't want to play lifes game anymore please someone share your experince strength and hope with me.
Ed
Emptiness
Dear ED,
I cant ever say that i was dry for more than a year and a half. But i can tell you without what was introduced to me by my sponsor, I often felt that always present emptiness and loneliness. It seemed like i could walk into a room full of perfect clones of myself and still feel separated. I didnt know that just going to meetings and not drinking wasn't enough. Id sit in meetings and think to myself that i was absolutely dying inside and i didn't know how to stop it. Then i met a guy that was talking about a solution to all his problems. not just the drink and the drugs. I was interested to say the least. I wasnt quite convinced i wanted what he had but i was sure i didnt want what i had. He guided me through the steps very quickly and had me starting to work with new people almost right away. Like ive said before i havent been sober that long this time around but it is the most beautiful time of my life. This way has gave me such a deep effective contact with that God i didnt like and wasnt sure he liked me. I nw have such a simple life and wish it to everyone.
I cant ever say that i was dry for more than a year and a half. But i can tell you without what was introduced to me by my sponsor, I often felt that always present emptiness and loneliness. It seemed like i could walk into a room full of perfect clones of myself and still feel separated. I didnt know that just going to meetings and not drinking wasn't enough. Id sit in meetings and think to myself that i was absolutely dying inside and i didn't know how to stop it. Then i met a guy that was talking about a solution to all his problems. not just the drink and the drugs. I was interested to say the least. I wasnt quite convinced i wanted what he had but i was sure i didnt want what i had. He guided me through the steps very quickly and had me starting to work with new people almost right away. Like ive said before i havent been sober that long this time around but it is the most beautiful time of my life. This way has gave me such a deep effective contact with that God i didnt like and wasnt sure he liked me. I nw have such a simple life and wish it to everyone.
Hello Iron -
Welcome to SR!
What a great, positive first post - thank you for that.
Having had a 'less than positive' day - it was quite nice to read.
I hope you'll continue to post , and we'll all get to know ea ch other, hang out and stay sober!
Hi Ed -
I hear you on the spiritual 'flux' ... putting it lightly I understand.
A spiritual balance is hard to keep in the best of circumstances.
It was when I lost my faith - that I finally drank like the alcoholic I am.
I was 43 years old.
In less than sisx years - I was walking dead.
Right out of the BB.
SOmetimes, it's as simple as re=reading the BB -
sometimes -
it takes a real live VisionQuest.
C'mon back and post a bit - we'll chat!
Welcome to SR!
What a great, positive first post - thank you for that.
Having had a 'less than positive' day - it was quite nice to read.
I hope you'll continue to post , and we'll all get to know ea ch other, hang out and stay sober!
Hi Ed -
I hear you on the spiritual 'flux' ... putting it lightly I understand.
A spiritual balance is hard to keep in the best of circumstances.
It was when I lost my faith - that I finally drank like the alcoholic I am.
I was 43 years old.
In less than sisx years - I was walking dead.
Right out of the BB.
SOmetimes, it's as simple as re=reading the BB -
sometimes -
it takes a real live VisionQuest.
C'mon back and post a bit - we'll chat!
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