readytorecover

Yesterday was day 1. I woke up hungover, reached for the phone and called in sick to work. Just started this job 3 weeks ago. Again. I stayed awake, feeling awful, got up and drank lots of water, lied to my husband and told him that I called in and traded days with someone else at work, went back to sleep.

When I awoke later, my husband had stopped home from work to talk to me. Instead of my usual high and mighty attitude, I listened. He cried when he said our 11 yo son said "why does mom get that way?" the night before. I sat there stunned, and realized what my childhood had been like with an alcoholic father, and decided to finally admit it. My husband and I cried together, then I called my therapist (who I had lied to also about drinking), made an appt. with her, confessed, and now it is day 2.

A brand new day. I feel great, besides being embarassed. But you know, alcohol is so readily available, I can't think of at least one family NOT affected by the demon. I have a great support system, I will make it.

So......Day 2, feeling good, off and running!!!!

Shari:comfort

kelsh

Hi Ready to recover,

I am so glad you made the decision to get sober...especially with your husband by your side. It took a lot of courage to tell your counselor, too. :comfort

I thought I was going crazy by the time I asked for help. I had been drinking daily for four years...but always made it to work. I was 48 years old and a single Mom to an eleven year old daughter with Juvenile Diabetes. I was supposed to be helping her with her newly diagnosed diabetes but I couldn't hardly help myself.

Every Thursday she had a standing appointment with her doc that was handling her diabetes. I had to keep a daily record of her meals, blood sugars, and amounts of insulin she took. This is when I hit my bottom....it was Thursday morning and I was getting the record up to date when I couldn't remember what I had fixed her for supper the night before. I had to look in the garbage to find out. :morning

This was the end of the rope for me. I went to Mental Health that day and got an appointment to see a counselor. I ended up getting counseling for my alcoholism & depression at the same time with different counselors.

I am still sober. I still take medication for my depression/anxiety and have frequent follow-up appointments with my doc. I am retired and 67 years old now. My daughter is 30 years old and just got married this last May.

Life does get better as the sober days add up. It seems a never-ending road but it is so wonderful the further we get down it.

readytorecover

Parts of your story are so familiar. I can remember eating something before going to bed, but I too have had to look in the trash can to figure out what I ate.

And to top it off for my own personal health, I have IBS. Drinking any alcohol with IBS is so bad. It wreaks havok on my intestinal tract, it's about time I took care of myself so I can take care of my almost teenage boy.

Thanks again,
Shari:comfort

Cleansing

RTR,
Keep it up. And keep telling the truth to your husband and therapist. They seem like the right people to trust.

I recently came to the tough reality that I am addicted to substances. I joined a recovery program last month, but I did so more for my parents and friends than for myself. I did not truly believe I had a problem.

My care coordinator was very blunt with me this week; he pretty much drew a picture of my funeral and I said I could either die or go to another program because the stuff I was doing was wasting his time. Sort of rough, but he was telling the damn truth. I would come into program almost everyday getting high the night before, and I had no real intention on stopping. My thing was that as long as I was in the program, I could project the idea that I was getting better even though I was not. I was "getting over". "Getting over" on family and friends, but more importantly, getting over on myself because I was adding poison to my body while tricking myself into thinking being present in a program was all I needed. I would be the one to suffer the most in the end. I don't want to leave this program, so I have been sober for two days. I am doing it for myself this time, and I'm not giving in to urges this weekend. One day down, two to go.












Life is real boring though.

...


time will tell if I even care to live






you see my dilemma? The conflict?

Cleansing

Bump. I can use some repsonses or advice actually.

CarolD

Hi : Cleansing...

I see you use Substance Abuse ...that's good.
...What have those members been suggesting?

I follow AA for my alcoholism
Do you attend NA?

That's the best I can suggest to you.
Glad to see you are trying again.


Blessings

Cleansing

Yeah, almost everyone I know ( parents, some people in my program, the staff at my program) suggest NA for those times when I am not in my program or those days when I have too much free time. But I haven't worked up the courage top go

(1) I'm concerned about it not being run by "professionals"
(2) My father has been going to NA for over 25 years. He's doing great, and has been sober for closer to 22 years, but that's always been his thing. I'm a little worried about running into him in some meetings, or visiting "his world". our relationship is ok, but it's ALWAYS been awkward. It has been getting better though. Maybe be going to a meeting now and then will help us grow together as father-son. I don't know. It can go either way.


The program is pretty good. I don't feel great everyday, but I do know I'm getting very valuable information from the staff and other patients. Of course, everyone is telling me that "the truth shall set me free." I need to stop fooling myself and figure out if I want to quit or not. It's hard. I am pretty sure I want to stop. I haven't tried to drink or get high on anything since Sunday. So it's been 4/5 days.