ex-navy

Physically, I was home taking to my girlfriend about what I was planning to do next about my struggle with alcoholism. I had just taken 4 days off from drinking for the first time in 14 years, followed by 3 days of reluctant drinking. I was trying to come up with a new goal for this week, and we were discussing what my new goal was going to be for this week, when suddenly I got the idea to do a search on Google to see if there was some type of support group online related to alcoholism, and that is where I found this site. It was kind of ironic how I make a living online with several websites that I manage, but never thought to search for anything of this nature online, especially when I always search for other resources online. I have done searches about things related to drinking but never for a support group.

Mentally, I felt as though my long bout with alcoholism was about to head in a more positive direction. I was really in my best position to try, seriously, for the first time to eventually put alcohol behind me. Even when I drank for the last 3 days, I felt as though I was forcing myself to continue the routine just to get past the weekend, which sort of felt like having routine sex when you really didn't want to. I was just trying to get it over, and out of the way. It was boring.

My dad has a similar problem as I do, but he just stopped drinking and smoking on the same day 20 years ago when he was around my age now. I have been talking to him lately about this ordeal I am having, because I knew it was time for me to put drinking behind me for good. He gave me some good advice, but I still thought that I needed more...

Then I found this message board, and I felt as though I finally found something online that would benefit me the most right about now, and hopefully for a long time to come. This is just what I need for me, being that I am very reluctant to go public to any local treatment center. I really believe this board, it's members, and my motivation is a good prescription for me at this time. Thank you.

Astro

It takes different circumstances for everyone to get into recovery, but it's amazing to watch someone "get it". I'm so glad you found this board.

I hope that "prescription" works well for you, but if it doesn't how about having an open mind about AA?. That's something more to think about. Just take sobriety one day at a time, OK?

ex-navy

Thank you for your advice...I will keep an open mind about AA if it comes down to that.

paulmh

HI ex-navy - I'm curious as to how your dad did it - did he just stop by himself, or did he get involved with a group? I read a lot about people who just quit. It wasn't within my power to do that, but I have lots of respect for people who do. Glad you're talking to him about your issues. The more secrets we keep from others the more harm we seem to do ourselves. Seems to me that people who successfully quit have one thing in common - they make quitting alcohol an absolute, either an absolute personal standard, or they recognise their alcoholism as an absolute beyond their control. And then they quit - either "forever", or if they can't do that, just for today.

Good to see you here, and I hope your search for a solution bear fruit.

ex-navy

My dad does not go into much detail about how he did it, but he consistently tells me that he felt as though, after 21 years of alcoholism...his father dying in a car accident while driving drunk when he was 9 years old, and mother fighting alcoholism all of her life, and me moving away because of his mistreatment of others in favor of alcohol, lead him to realize that he had ran out of excuses as to why he should not quit drinking. He feels really bad that I picked it up, and he blames himself, but I have my own issues that caused me to start drinking. Our lives are quite similar, and we drink for basically the same reason, even though 19 years difference in culture. I am still in the process of trying to get more info. out of him, but he is a very private person, so I take what I can get. I mentioned to him, jokingly, but kind of seriously, that he should write a book on his experiences, because many people are struggling to do what he is currently accomplishing for 21 years without relapse.

ex-navy

I forgot to mention earlier why I stated 20 years in the first post, but 21 in the last post. When I first made the post, I mis-calculated the years, but when I spoke to my father recently and mentioned 20 years to him, he corrected me and told me that March of 2007 was the 21st year.