Ann

You are reading from the book Today's Gift.

Say what you like: say I'm ill,
Say I broke my leg on the stairs,
Say we've had a fire
--T. S. Eliot

Think of the trouble of excuses and lies. They force us to make ourselves sick, live with a whole broken leg, start some sort of slow burn. When we tell someone we're not at home, we have to hide in that place. When we invent a long line of lies, we have to memorize each one. It's easiest just to come clean, use plain and simple words, and speak true. When accusers spear us with their stares, we can disarm them by looking them right in the eye.

Not only do lies deceive others, they keep us hidden from ourselves, and make our real reasons for the choices we've made seem unworthy, if we feel we can't express them. Better that we be truthful, even if a little pain results. Truth keeps communication lines open. Then, when someone really wants to know what's on our minds, we can simply open our hearts.

Is anything too terrible to tell to a friend?

equus

I found an excellent article on lies months back - I'll try to dig it up.

historyteach

Wow, did this one hit home, Ann...
This is what I've been dealing with at school with those students! And after all those meetings where they hurled insult and lie at me; and it was accepted as fact by the administration, we came up with a plan. The girls would return to class and make up work so they could pass.
After over two weeks, I've not received one piece of work from them. Furthermore, their behavior in my class has been reprehensible - late, disruptive, absent... I took notes of it all, and gave it to the principal. They've now failed.
And he looked as if he was going to be sick.

My heart still hurts from this experience. But, I WAS able to look them, and the principal, right into the eye. It just didn't make a difference.
But, I knew.
And the evidence came to show the truth.
And even after all of this, I'm still be questioned...and second guessed...
But, I know. I simply need to find a better way to deal with it all. I can't let this anxiety, hurt and anger rule me. I've got to accept this for what it is. A farce. Sad.

Thanks for sharing....

Shalom!

equus

I found it!!!!

Hopefully it will be relevent, I thought it was very good. I'm going to link the thread because the discussion was pretty cool too.

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...h-d-74480.html

kathyF

Wow Ann! I loved this.
My father used to tell all of his children when we were young, how important it was to tell the truth and to never make "excuses". He used to tell us that if we were going to lie that we'd better have an excellent memory. LOL

Blessings,
kathyF

Hopefloats

People can get caught up in trying to define another person's "truth", when the remedy for healing is keeping the focus on oneself.
2006 is the year that the truth most certainly has set me free. I wish I could express my gratitude, the blessing I have found in acceptance and just how wonderful I feel on the inside.

I especially like this paragraph from my meditation book:
"Life is sorta like that isn't it? It occurs on many levels of truth at the same time. If we are trying to operate on one level of truth and those around us are operating on another, confusion ensues unless we can see and respect one another's levels of truth. Conflict results when people who have little awareness of the levels of truth on an issue demand that others be on their level of truth."
(Damn those demanding people huh? LOL)
"Life exists on many levels. Just because someone is not on my level does not mean that one of us is wrong"

Wish I had more time to add more...off to write some poetry
Good thread.
Hopefloats

Grimnar

Indeed.

A lie about it hurts way more than original pain.

Ann

I too like this reading, and I liked even more the example that Equus posted in her link (if you haven't read it go back and do so, it's well worth the read).

I'm an honest person, and truthful. I was raised to tell the truth and I don't think I have told many lies in my life, except to myself when I was living in denial, and since beginning my recovery I am even more comfortable being truthful today.

Like Teach, I am taken aback when I know I am telling the truth and someone doesn't believe me. Sometimes I feel compelled to "prove it" but more often I just let their reaction belong to them because I know in my own heart what the truth is.

When I am true to myself and feel good about that, being truthful to anyone comes easy.

Hugs
Ann