Content.
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Join Date: Oct 2004
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Content.
I want to be content. If I have bread I want to enjoy it filling my belly not get angry and feel hard done by because there's no butter. In reality we eat like kings - I've a corn fed chicken defrosting for tonight.
I want to learn contentment, to be content with body heat and a warm quilt not waste the last waking hours wishing the heating was still on. It's on for hours each day and that's enough. If it was off altogether we still have good shelter, each other and dogs to cuddle and warm clothes to wear.
I want to be content. I'm watching something so immense, a person see their demons and fight, I'm seeing something rare and precious. I don't want to waste it being angry at the process of change, change comes with upheaval, it comes with new awareness of new things that need tackling. If a second, third or fourth problem arises I want to be content to have seen it, without seeing it nothing can be done to repair it.
And I want to be content that I'm learning, this is an incredible opportunity. I don't want to waste time angry at myself for not having learned everything already. I'm learning enough day by day to stand up again if I stumble and I'm learning stumbling doesn't overwhelm me.
This is my next place to go thinking, seeing and letting myself understand I have to feed contentment, care for it and let it grow. I have to remove the pests that kill it - greed, competativeness, materialism, and a belief all my whims should be satisfied. Instead I want to seize the day, feel each pleasure and love each opportunity given me. In reality I'm one VERY VERY lucky lass.
I want to learn contentment, to be content with body heat and a warm quilt not waste the last waking hours wishing the heating was still on. It's on for hours each day and that's enough. If it was off altogether we still have good shelter, each other and dogs to cuddle and warm clothes to wear.
I want to be content. I'm watching something so immense, a person see their demons and fight, I'm seeing something rare and precious. I don't want to waste it being angry at the process of change, change comes with upheaval, it comes with new awareness of new things that need tackling. If a second, third or fourth problem arises I want to be content to have seen it, without seeing it nothing can be done to repair it.
And I want to be content that I'm learning, this is an incredible opportunity. I don't want to waste time angry at myself for not having learned everything already. I'm learning enough day by day to stand up again if I stumble and I'm learning stumbling doesn't overwhelm me.
This is my next place to go thinking, seeing and letting myself understand I have to feed contentment, care for it and let it grow. I have to remove the pests that kill it - greed, competativeness, materialism, and a belief all my whims should be satisfied. Instead I want to seize the day, feel each pleasure and love each opportunity given me. In reality I'm one VERY VERY lucky lass.
((( ONCE BITTEN, TWICE SHY )))
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: manchester connecticut
Posts: 106
I get that! I ve been clean for one year and four months, however, I made a discovery that ive only been spiritually clean for a vey short time. That stinkin, thinkin, always robbed me of my spirituality. Just recently, I finally felt peace and serenety. I couldnt give you any specific time, or reason when and why it happened. IT JUST DID!!!!!
And it is wonderful. ---no, I havent been saved---Im not even gonna go there.Equus,
Just keep doing what your doing. As they say, STOP AND SMELL THE ROSES!
That feeling is going to come, believe me, I thought I allready was at peace, but now, I know I really am!!!! Good luck on that journey! Jennifer (( roses2005 ))
And it is wonderful. ---no, I havent been saved---Im not even gonna go there.Equus,
Just keep doing what your doing. As they say, STOP AND SMELL THE ROSES!
That feeling is going to come, believe me, I thought I allready was at peace, but now, I know I really am!!!! Good luck on that journey! Jennifer (( roses2005 ))
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Contentment it is for me - if it turns to gratitude then what happens as things are sometimes lost? Isn't the other side of gratitude resentment?
All I want is to know things are as they are, there's not always someone to thank, just as there's not always someone to blame (I think).
I'm not sure this would help me much if D was to decide to drink again, but it helps get through the aftermath and it helps me not worry. I'm trying to really think about it and think where contentment has been at when I've been happy or upset. I want to know where my feelings come from - I think some of the unpleasant ones come from not realising how little is needed to feel fully content.
hehehehehe -- it's an Eqqy meandering journey.
All I want is to know things are as they are, there's not always someone to thank, just as there's not always someone to blame (I think).
I'm not sure this would help me much if D was to decide to drink again, but it helps get through the aftermath and it helps me not worry. I'm trying to really think about it and think where contentment has been at when I've been happy or upset. I want to know where my feelings come from - I think some of the unpleasant ones come from not realising how little is needed to feel fully content.
hehehehehe -- it's an Eqqy meandering journey.
Cruelty-Free
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Body: South Florida Heart: Yosemite National Park
Posts: 914
Now I know Al-Anon ain't your cup o' tea, but I have to say that I love what I hear during the Suggested Opening at every meeting I attend:
"We, too, were lonely and frustrated, but in Al-Anon we discovered that no situation is really hopeless and that it is possible for us to find contentment, and even happiness, whether the alcoholic is still drinking or not."
I'm pleased to say I've found both!!!
"We, too, were lonely and frustrated, but in Al-Anon we discovered that no situation is really hopeless and that it is possible for us to find contentment, and even happiness, whether the alcoholic is still drinking or not."
I'm pleased to say I've found both!!!
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This is a genuine question:
Why do they need to state the solution is in Al-Anon? Just as I get some Al-Anon wisdoms through here, even if I was the biggest Al-Anon fan all that I had learned would be from lots of different sources - there's few things I can attribute to a single source.
The above is a mixture of childhood experience, time as a low paid groom, observations of people's happiness in Sri Lanka, reading the Dalai Lama, MASSIVE priority re-evaluation from careers and money to 'Are my loved one's safe?', some wisdoms here too, some from members of Al-Anon.
I'm really curious why they restate in a suggested opening that the learning is 'in' Al-Anon?
Why do they need to state the solution is in Al-Anon? Just as I get some Al-Anon wisdoms through here, even if I was the biggest Al-Anon fan all that I had learned would be from lots of different sources - there's few things I can attribute to a single source.
The above is a mixture of childhood experience, time as a low paid groom, observations of people's happiness in Sri Lanka, reading the Dalai Lama, MASSIVE priority re-evaluation from careers and money to 'Are my loved one's safe?', some wisdoms here too, some from members of Al-Anon.
I'm really curious why they restate in a suggested opening that the learning is 'in' Al-Anon?
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Join Date: Jan 2003
Posts: 4,955
There is a solution in Alanon
Not the solution.
Some people find their solutions in Alanon, some people find it elsewhere.
Some people take bits and pieces of everything out there and devise their own path to recovery.
I say, whatever works for the individual person is okay.
Not the solution.
Some people find their solutions in Alanon, some people find it elsewhere.
Some people take bits and pieces of everything out there and devise their own path to recovery.
I say, whatever works for the individual person is okay.
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I agree with you Gabe - 100%!!
It just seemed an odd thing to state where something is learned from - largely 'cos I think most if not all of us have countless influences. Even on named courses while studying I never heard anyone state that where they learn what - certainly not from 'the front' if you get me. Just struck me as odd. But then in places of study there aren't opening statements in the first place!
I'm derailing my own thread here - heck!! Why can't I be content not to be so flippin' curious?? Ok, I'm dying to ask, why do they have 'Suggested Openings?'?? Has anyone come across anything like this outside of Al-Anon? I haven't hence me noseyness....
It just seemed an odd thing to state where something is learned from - largely 'cos I think most if not all of us have countless influences. Even on named courses while studying I never heard anyone state that where they learn what - certainly not from 'the front' if you get me. Just struck me as odd. But then in places of study there aren't opening statements in the first place!
I'm derailing my own thread here - heck!! Why can't I be content not to be so flippin' curious?? Ok, I'm dying to ask, why do they have 'Suggested Openings?'?? Has anyone come across anything like this outside of Al-Anon? I haven't hence me noseyness....
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Join Date: May 2004
Location: England
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Not everyone is curious like you, Eq, and lines such as the one quoted by ncp give great comfort to people who have never even thought they had a right to be happy, never mind thought it was possible. And actually, I've found that many of the "uncurious" expand their reading beyond Al-anon literature after a little while. And itt doesn't say "only in Al-anon".
Suggested openings? So that Al-anon has the same format wherever in the world you go. I like that. And I'm sure organisations like Rotary or whatever follow a similar theme.
Hope this doesn't sound defensive - Al-anon is but one tool in my HUUUUUGGGGE toolbox.
Oh, and contentment to me is that inner peace that sometimes exists even when the sh*t is hitting the fan around me. Just like serenity, in fact.
Suggested openings? So that Al-anon has the same format wherever in the world you go. I like that. And I'm sure organisations like Rotary or whatever follow a similar theme.
Hope this doesn't sound defensive - Al-anon is but one tool in my HUUUUUGGGGE toolbox.
Oh, and contentment to me is that inner peace that sometimes exists even when the sh*t is hitting the fan around me. Just like serenity, in fact.
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I get the thing about sameness - thanks Minnie. Sorry this didn't mean to come off as anything that needed defense, it's just not something I'VE ever come across before and would far rather ask first than leap to 10,000 +1 conclusions without seeing if there's a simple answer.
I haven't a clue about the rotary, I imagine freemasons have something - but that's only a pure guess.
Iwas also taking the mickey out of myself - I'm not sure I'll ever be content enough to not want to know stuff!!
I haven't a clue about the rotary, I imagine freemasons have something - but that's only a pure guess.
Iwas also taking the mickey out of myself - I'm not sure I'll ever be content enough to not want to know stuff!!
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Join Date: Dec 2004
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equus, I truly enjoy your curiosity! 
As Gabe stated, I've never heard that "the" solution is found in any one place---wait! Actually I have. I believe it was someone trying to shove a few chapters & verses from the Bible down my throat. Possibly, it was my Dad. Not very appealing to this guy.
I simply credit the inner work I've done Al-Anon with creating some willingness and ability in me to accept the solutions when they're presented, no matter the source of those solutions. Believe me, I get 'em from the most unlikely sources... The trick was getting me to be open to receive.
It just happened to be Al-Anon that got me there. I imagine it could've been a myriad of other things. I heard someone say (Marianne Williamson, most likely) that "There is one truth, but many paths to the truth".
As for the use of a Suggested Opening, I believe it serves as a brief overview of what one might expect to find in the fellowship. As you might imagine, many people walk through the doors confused, agitated, hopeless and at their wit's end. It's a nice way to welcome someone who might not be sure quite what they've gotten themselves into. In short, it speaks of a common denominator amongst members of living or having lived with alcoholism; that there is hope available; that we seem to have been affected by someone else's drinking; the origin of the fellowship; and, most importantly, that everything said in the rooms is kept anonymous, thus assuring members that we can "feel free to say what is in our minds and hearts..."
As for other places where one might hear a welcome of sorts, the words "Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to..." serve to inform a person who may have just wandered in that this ain't gonna be no ordinary church service!
As Gabe stated, I've never heard that "the" solution is found in any one place---wait! Actually I have. I believe it was someone trying to shove a few chapters & verses from the Bible down my throat. Possibly, it was my Dad. Not very appealing to this guy.
I simply credit the inner work I've done Al-Anon with creating some willingness and ability in me to accept the solutions when they're presented, no matter the source of those solutions. Believe me, I get 'em from the most unlikely sources... The trick was getting me to be open to receive.
It just happened to be Al-Anon that got me there. I imagine it could've been a myriad of other things. I heard someone say (Marianne Williamson, most likely) that "There is one truth, but many paths to the truth".
As for the use of a Suggested Opening, I believe it serves as a brief overview of what one might expect to find in the fellowship. As you might imagine, many people walk through the doors confused, agitated, hopeless and at their wit's end. It's a nice way to welcome someone who might not be sure quite what they've gotten themselves into. In short, it speaks of a common denominator amongst members of living or having lived with alcoholism; that there is hope available; that we seem to have been affected by someone else's drinking; the origin of the fellowship; and, most importantly, that everything said in the rooms is kept anonymous, thus assuring members that we can "feel free to say what is in our minds and hearts..."
As for other places where one might hear a welcome of sorts, the words "Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to..." serve to inform a person who may have just wandered in that this ain't gonna be no ordinary church service!
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As for other places where one might hear a welcome of sorts, the words "Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to..." serve to inform a person who may have just wandered in that this ain't gonna be no ordinary church service!
I just figured I'd had enough of 'Foot in mouth' disease for one night!That does make sense - sort of like a setting out learning objectives in a seminar, letting everyone know what the aims are.
thanks!!
Edit for a laugh - I had to edit in the (church service bit), then I realised when I first read it I'd missed the funeral bit - he was me thinking that was the start of all services!!! Scarey how time smudges the memory!
Cruelty-Free
Join Date: Dec 2004
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Originally Posted by equus
Edit for a laugh - I had to edit in the (church service bit), then I realised when I first read it I'd missed the funeral bit...
Cruelty-Free
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...which, of course, reminds me of a semi-related joke:
WARNING: POLITICAL INCORRECTNESS TO FOLLOW!!!
What's the difference between an Irish wake and an Irish wedding?
One less drunk.
WARNING: POLITICAL INCORRECTNESS TO FOLLOW!!!
What's the difference between an Irish wake and an Irish wedding?
One less drunk.
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Heya equus,
It doesn't say that. You have to read the entire statement.
"We, too, were lonely and frustrated, but in Al-Anon we discovered that no situation is really hopeless and that it is possible for us to find contentment, and even happiness, whether the alcoholic is still drinking or not."
This statement makes no reference to the solution. It says that the people who are at that meeting found _hope_. It does _not_ say they found the solution to their situation, just that they found hope. They found that it is _possible_ to find contententment and even happiness. It does _not_ say that contentment and happiness were found in Al-Anon.
The reason the statement is written that way is because the solution is _not_ found in Al-Anon. Al-Anon meetings are simply a place where people who suffer can find people who have overcome their challenges in life as related to addictions. Each person in that al-anon meeting has found their own solutions, contentment and happiness in their own way and are willing to _share_ what each one did, specifically. If you listen carefuly to what they say, you will find that every one of them walked a different path, but they all arrived at the same goal.
The "solution" is not found in the meetings of al-anon. What you find there is people who have found their own solutions, and willing to tell you how they did it. That is what that statement says.
The "solution" is found in the "3 concepts" of all programs of recovery, whether they be 12 step, religious, spiritual, therapeutic or what-have-you. If you are into the 12 step stuff they are summarized as "Clean house", "Trust in your HP", "reach out to others". If you are on a different path it would be "Faith, hope and charity".
Am I making sense?
Mike :-)
Originally Posted by equus
... Why do they need to state the solution is in Al-Anon?...
"We, too, were lonely and frustrated, but in Al-Anon we discovered that no situation is really hopeless and that it is possible for us to find contentment, and even happiness, whether the alcoholic is still drinking or not."
This statement makes no reference to the solution. It says that the people who are at that meeting found _hope_. It does _not_ say they found the solution to their situation, just that they found hope. They found that it is _possible_ to find contententment and even happiness. It does _not_ say that contentment and happiness were found in Al-Anon.
The reason the statement is written that way is because the solution is _not_ found in Al-Anon. Al-Anon meetings are simply a place where people who suffer can find people who have overcome their challenges in life as related to addictions. Each person in that al-anon meeting has found their own solutions, contentment and happiness in their own way and are willing to _share_ what each one did, specifically. If you listen carefuly to what they say, you will find that every one of them walked a different path, but they all arrived at the same goal.
The "solution" is not found in the meetings of al-anon. What you find there is people who have found their own solutions, and willing to tell you how they did it. That is what that statement says.
The "solution" is found in the "3 concepts" of all programs of recovery, whether they be 12 step, religious, spiritual, therapeutic or what-have-you. If you are into the 12 step stuff they are summarized as "Clean house", "Trust in your HP", "reach out to others". If you are on a different path it would be "Faith, hope and charity".
Am I making sense?
Mike :-)
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