Dan

Take what I like...
... and leave the rest.

From a fellowship perspective, it's a useful slogan and a practical approach to dealing with all the many opinions I'm bound to be offered as a member of AA. And as far as AA sloganese goes, a lot of it really translates well to every day living.

The above, I'm afraid, doesn't fare so well in the mundane life outside the rooms, in my opinion.

It's becoming an all purpose shield to hide behind, a safety woobee to suck on when we're asked to account for behavior, words, etc...

Shirking responsibility for ownership of the impact of my behavior and words, in relation to the community at large, is an all too easy proposition.

End of rant.

equus

What worries me most is when people start to believe there really are no consequences.

I remember the childhood saying 'Sticks and stones may break my bones but names will never hurt me.' THEN we began to understand the effects of verbal abuse - helped along by WAYYYYY too many suicides.

We account for the effect of verbal abuse in adult relationships too, along with emotional abuse that doesn't need to include any name calling.

Still there are those who seem to believe what they say can have no negative consequences except those that are the listeners fault - sad.

As for slogans, perhaps being a little refreshed as society develops might be useful.

minnie

I choose to take what I like and leave the rest, but I can't expect others to do the same, nor can I choose what they are going to take or leave. So I have to choose my words and actions very carefully - a lesson that is slowly being hammered home.

And you're right, Dan, hiding behind that slogan (or any other) is a recipe for discord and fractured relationships.

nocellphone

I find that this is a slogan I can apply to things that come my way, not as a device to throw any ol' thing I want at someone else.

I can take what I like, apply it to some aspect of my life--provided it fits and can be of some positive use--and leave the rest to be picked up by someone who can use it better than I can.

If I were to use it, as was said, to do as I please with wanton disregard for the feelings of others, then I'm back in old behaviors. When I do this (and I do from time to time), shame is sure to follow. That's somewhere I try to go as infrequently as possible.

As a friend of mine says, that's where I used to live. The difference today is that now I only visit...

Dan

I totally agree on the take what I need part...
It's what I leave along with the rest that I need to keep an eye on.

Afterthought...
Whenever my contributions to the rest start raising eyebrows on a regular basis, then yeah, as you say NCP, it might be worth a look to see if old behaviors are coming back to the forefront.
No one, as near as I know, is immune to that.

Dan

quoted myself instead of adding to the above post

Five

I think most people have a set of beliefs - once they have them they look for evidence to compound those beliefs, and dismiss any evidence that may be contray to those beliefs.

Bertrand Russell said that if you want a truly enlightened life you have keep constantly challaning beliefs - you have to, with as near objectivity as you can get, take into account the other mans argument and adjust your beliefs accordingly.

Self doubt is a wonderful thing, and it leads to many pleasures, surprises, and passions.

But I have to have peace of mind as well, and comfort that my paradigm is exactly right, at this moment in time.