Recovery....Dark to Light
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Denver, CO
Posts: 23
Recovery....Dark to Light
Whenever I drank I always ended up in the dark. Usually in my basement in a room with the curtains tightly drawn. I left for no reason but to buy more beer and cigarettes. I took no notice of the trees, the sky, the grass. I ignored my friends and family, evertime I engaged in a bender I would make up a pathetic story to cover up my lost days. Nothing seemed to have any luster or importance. My mood became dark, my only concern was more beer. I think of how selfish drinking makes a person. I don't that misery to ever invade my life again. Its kind of hard for me to even go in my basement now that I have quit...it reminds me of a horrendous dark existance.
Now, 3.5 days after quitting I already notice brightness in the world again. So I won't ever give that up again. My mood has lightened tremendously. I noticed the beauty of the falling leaves and the incredible colorado sky. I hang out outside, have friends over. I lost that bleak, miserable feeling. I walked outside and I was so grateful for the light. That is what recovery means to me.
Now, 3.5 days after quitting I already notice brightness in the world again. So I won't ever give that up again. My mood has lightened tremendously. I noticed the beauty of the falling leaves and the incredible colorado sky. I hang out outside, have friends over. I lost that bleak, miserable feeling. I walked outside and I was so grateful for the light. That is what recovery means to me.
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
Mister7, I'm wishing you another beautiful day filled with sunshine and light.
Each day brings its own beauty, all we have to do is open our eyes and open our spirits and let the beauty flow through us.
Hugs
Each day brings its own beauty, all we have to do is open our eyes and open our spirits and let the beauty flow through us.
Hugs
Member
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Alberta, Canada
Posts: 363
Good Going Mister7!!!!
The first 72 hours can be rough. I think that now, with 3.5 days you're mostly over the withdrawal sysmptoms.
I did read in another of your posts that you were having a little anxiety.
This was one of my hardest things to cope with in early sobriety. I would get anxiety attacks for no particular reason, and have to stop whatever I was doing and flee home. Really wierd, as I never had these before. I think they were just another withdrawal symptom.
The good news is they only lasted about 8 days from quit day. Now, even very stressful situations don't really bother me, I just deal with them as they come up.
This time I,ve only had about 3 weeks sober, but in the past I've had much longer sober time. I remember, and it's happening this time too, that stress and anxiety really become non-issues as time goes by.
Drinking itself used to cause me stress. I'd always worry about what I did, or come to work hungover and worry about losing my job. This made my last drunks not very much fun anymore, as I knew what was invariably coming.
Keep it up Mister7. You're going to realize a whole bunch of really good benefits.
Mongo
The first 72 hours can be rough. I think that now, with 3.5 days you're mostly over the withdrawal sysmptoms.
I did read in another of your posts that you were having a little anxiety.
This was one of my hardest things to cope with in early sobriety. I would get anxiety attacks for no particular reason, and have to stop whatever I was doing and flee home. Really wierd, as I never had these before. I think they were just another withdrawal symptom.
The good news is they only lasted about 8 days from quit day. Now, even very stressful situations don't really bother me, I just deal with them as they come up.
This time I,ve only had about 3 weeks sober, but in the past I've had much longer sober time. I remember, and it's happening this time too, that stress and anxiety really become non-issues as time goes by.
Drinking itself used to cause me stress. I'd always worry about what I did, or come to work hungover and worry about losing my job. This made my last drunks not very much fun anymore, as I knew what was invariably coming.
Keep it up Mister7. You're going to realize a whole bunch of really good benefits.
Mongo
Last edited by Mongo; 10-16-2005 at 05:31 AM. Reason: Typo
Member
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: With Good Spirit
Posts: 378
Hi Mister..I am the mom of an addict. I may not know all of what you are feeling, but I do know that I see such hope and wisdom in your words. I am praying for many, many more wonderful days for you. It always makes my heart happy to read such inspirational words. Thank you
((((hugs)))
Hopefloats
((((hugs)))
Hopefloats
Michael
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: London England
Posts: 291
Mister 7,
I really enjoyed reading your post. I could really relate to the fact that your life has moved from darkness into light, that's a wonderful metaphor for sobriety.
What I have tried hard to do in sobriety is to retain a grip on the thousand and one small benefits that I have been granted. The ability to remember, the capacity for untroubled sleep, the capacity to drive in the morning, not needing painkillers every morning, the list is pretty well endless. If you can retain the benefits they are hugely important as counterbalances to any cravings that come along. I tell myself what I will lose if I have a drink and the balance quickly swings to sobriety.
I wish you well, keep enjoying the little things.
Michael
I really enjoyed reading your post. I could really relate to the fact that your life has moved from darkness into light, that's a wonderful metaphor for sobriety.
What I have tried hard to do in sobriety is to retain a grip on the thousand and one small benefits that I have been granted. The ability to remember, the capacity for untroubled sleep, the capacity to drive in the morning, not needing painkillers every morning, the list is pretty well endless. If you can retain the benefits they are hugely important as counterbalances to any cravings that come along. I tell myself what I will lose if I have a drink and the balance quickly swings to sobriety.
I wish you well, keep enjoying the little things.
Michael
Paused
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Washington
Posts: 5,093
Yep, so many similarities. Welcome to the light.
I look back and have surmised that alcohol encompasses your soul not permitting any light to pass through. Darkness begets darkness. Releasing one's self from the grasp of alcohol frees up your mind, body and soul. Allowing one to grow spiritually, emotionally and physically stronger. In doing so, your senses come alive enabling you to become aware of the little things in life that can bring so much joy. What I chose to overlook before, has become brilliant with light.
I look back and have surmised that alcohol encompasses your soul not permitting any light to pass through. Darkness begets darkness. Releasing one's self from the grasp of alcohol frees up your mind, body and soul. Allowing one to grow spiritually, emotionally and physically stronger. In doing so, your senses come alive enabling you to become aware of the little things in life that can bring so much joy. What I chose to overlook before, has become brilliant with light.
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