Coke addicts in recovery help
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Portland
Posts: 10
Coke addicts in recovery help
ere. My name is Nicole and I am a 25 year old alcoholic and addict. Really want some people who have delt with cocaine addiction and how they beat it to talk to me tell me there experiences and how they got through. Alcohol has always been my life long problem and addiction but over the years I started experimenting with other drugs out in clubs and so on. Found coke and loved it. Realized just like with alcohol I didn't do it normally whatever normal is. When it would appear I would not stop till it was gone then go around looking for more getting angry and aggitated till I found it and licking every bag clean, looking on floor(so sad)until the coming down was over. Coke was very hard on me because of my depression and how I felt the day after but more and more over the last 2 year I starting enjoying a few coctails and then as I started getting drunk before I would black out switch over to coke to make a nice balance. Soon my boyfriend of four years said he wouldn't let me do it anymore so once to four times a month I would get some and hide it and use it with drinking with out him knowing. Soon after he wanted me to get help for drinking or he was leaving so I began to hide that as well. Eventually I got a Duii this year. Was high and drunk going down a wrong way street when an officer stopped me and most likely saved my life. Having to do diversion on not drinking while in it didn't work. Was trying to drink around the UA's and would still get high times 1-3 every week or two. Eventually failed too many and was going to be sent back to courts and my boyfriend left saying he couldn't watch me kill myself anymore and that he was tired of the promises and nothing would ever change. After a few more nights of hell and getting high and even trying mixing some other drugs in there as well as trying smoking cocaine I realized how I was loosing everything I loved and could go to jail and that I was miserable so I decided to go into inpatient myself. Really was ready to quit the drinking and had been trying for last year. Unfortunetly we focused all on my main problem alcohol and not cocaine. I went 30days with out drinking or drugs then felt so proud I did well went out and got drunk and found coke. Really wanting to beat it I went back to meetings got my sponser and put myself on anitibuse. This is were it gets intresting. Well hmmmm when I started wanted to get drunk and not feel and numb things I couldn't drink so I got coke. That was one month and two weeks ago. Still sober now I am doing coke up to four times a week for 10 14 hour periods. I seriously can not believe how stupid I am. I gave up one thing to get another addiction. I can't get past two three days now. I keep trying I am going to meetings for both na and aa but keep relapsing. The thing with coke is I feel so great when I am high then insane when I am coming down. Everytime I say this is horrible at the end and I'm done and a few days go by and something triggers it and I can't stop thinking about it until I get it and I go through the whole thing again. Does anybody have any suggestions. How did you guys beat it? Really want to help or advice from people who have been there and got through it. I pray I can to. I want to be free and clean of all drugs and alcohol and happy on my own.. Please help.. nic
doing the inside job
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: planet happy
Posts: 542
I just kept coming back no matter what.
" Don't leave 5 mins before the miracle happens"
IN earily recover.
I didn't pay too much attention to what my head was tell'in me.
Or hang on to too much emotions and what not.
I was freaken insane and to try to figure out stuff..that's just more insanly
Going through withdraws and emotional roller coasters..so whats the piont.
I didn't even start working my steps or comprehend what it was all about
for over 6 months. My sponsor just kept telling me to go to meetings
no matter what and don't pick up no matter what.
I didn't get it right the first time, 2nd , or third.
Relaps after relaps...it was part of the process for me.
Later on as I grew in recovery
I fell in love with Kristal, she's insane.
Pretty much the same symtoms like you. Depression.
Trying to manage my high and what not.
Meth...makes you phycotic.
Alcohlo is a depressent.
" Don't leave 5 mins before the miracle happens"
IN earily recover.
I didn't pay too much attention to what my head was tell'in me.
Or hang on to too much emotions and what not.
I was freaken insane and to try to figure out stuff..that's just more insanly
Going through withdraws and emotional roller coasters..so whats the piont.
I didn't even start working my steps or comprehend what it was all about
for over 6 months. My sponsor just kept telling me to go to meetings
no matter what and don't pick up no matter what.
I didn't get it right the first time, 2nd , or third.
Relaps after relaps...it was part of the process for me.
Later on as I grew in recovery
I fell in love with Kristal, she's insane.
Pretty much the same symtoms like you. Depression.
Trying to manage my high and what not.
Meth...makes you phycotic.
Alcohlo is a depressent.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: somewhere
Posts: 3,384
I wish I had some good advice to offer you. I am trying to beat the coke addiction too. I have been free for a few days now and I just take it one day at a time. I know that I can't say I'll never do it again because then my mind will start to flip out on me. I just say "ok, today I choose to love myself and I won't drink or drug, just for today." It is tough at times, but this can be overcome.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Portland
Posts: 10
Thank you for reply it really does help just to hear that. I am pacing around going crazy. My anxiety is worse than it's ever been. I havn't used since yesterday morning. I feel like I am right there ready to be done, I know I am but my body is telling me things like one more time, just tonight, i'm not that bad. I know if I use tonight I will hate myself and feel like hell. I will pray for you too. Nicole
Member
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: somewhere
Posts: 3,384
I will keep you in my prayers too Nicole. I have learned from my own experience that I would much rather deal with the urges to use than the actual physical effects that will be there after I use. Then not only am I still craving more but I feel so guilty, shameful, and depressed. I know as an addict there is never "one more last time" because that last time always seems to extend on and on.
the anxiety will lessen soon. Try to get some rest if you can and drink A LOT of water! trust me, I have been walking around here all day drinking lots of water myself. It is flushing the toxins out.
We will feel better, but we have to keep ourselves away from the coke. I know you can do it! You deserve so much more than a life with coke! Let's beat that evil thing!
the anxiety will lessen soon. Try to get some rest if you can and drink A LOT of water! trust me, I have been walking around here all day drinking lots of water myself. It is flushing the toxins out.
We will feel better, but we have to keep ourselves away from the coke. I know you can do it! You deserve so much more than a life with coke! Let's beat that evil thing!
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Posts: n/a
I went thru rehab for my coke addiction. I just wasn't making it at all living where I was with my dealer only 2 blocks away. I needed to remove my self form the whole situation for a while. Its real hard to stop when the people, place, and things are all about using.
I realize treatment isn't always an option, but maybe staying with a good friend, a real friend or family member for a bit would help.
I realize treatment isn't always an option, but maybe staying with a good friend, a real friend or family member for a bit would help.
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