Millwallj

The only real thing that is keeping me sober - or the only tangable thing, their might be something else - is me.

One day I decided I didnt want to drink. I went: pah, drinking is rubbish. Its hurting me, I never want to drink again.

So, since then I have never drunk. I got sick and tired of being sick and tired. The benefits of drinking were a pea size, whilst the benefits of not drinking were a pea feild sized.

I have never craved or desired a drink since. The thought has crossed my head. When that happens, I just dont pick up. Has happened maybe 4 times in nearly 3 years.

Anyone else simular?

splendra

fear keeps me sober.... the fear of hangovers

Millwallj

fear - yeah, that plays a big part i guess. fear of dying and going mad and being that strange bloke outside the shops who gives everyone the evil eye.

2dayzmuse

Fear is a huge part for me. Fear of losing control to the disease.

Irish Virus

Question for you Mill:

If you just decided one day not to drink, and "never craved or desired a drink since",
then why would you have even entered AA in the first place? Considering it damn near destroyed your life, I'm surprised someone who can quit at a drop of a hat would even go.

Don W

Hi Mill, My first thought when seeing the question was to answer, YOU. Saying me I think your right. I've searched for years outside of myself. I now understand it was within me all the time. I just need help learning how to use the tools to expose it.
You'll find thae the longer you're in recovery and on SR many come to that conclusion.
That is why I feel it is important to focus on recovery both our own and others. When we lose focus we draw others out of focus. When I stopped being angry about my addiction and became angry at it, my vision became 20/20. Don W

Millwallj

I thought AA would be a good idea, considering thats where people went if they had a drinking problem.

I decided i didnt want to drink, thats all. there has never been a battle. ever.

maybe their will one day.

2dayzmuse

The fear of complacency is another thing I worry about. I don't have any craving or desires for alcohol. I've been around it and the smell and thought of drinking makes me wrinkle up my nose in disgust. That is today. There are know guarantees I will feel that way tomorrow. I've got to keep on my toes and make sure I'm ahead of the game.