betterdayz

Its bad enough that I have to live with myself and now this.

I was living with my mom. It was a problem because my mom and step dad are drug addicts and I need to stay clean. So I decided to move to my grandmas so I can get clean. I thought it would be good because I would not be around the temptation of drugs in the house. But my grandma is driving me nuts. I know she is old and stuck in her ways but I do not know what to do. My grandparents are very old fashioned relgious people and barely leave there house. She keeps leaving me notes that say quotes from the bible.. that is cool and all but it is getting very annoying...and today I picked up my ciggaretes and there was a note inside that say "cigg is a bad habit"! .. I can not play my music in the house because she thinks anything other than christian music is from the devil. I was watching a TV show the other day and someone on there said DAMN and she went on for about an hour and a half on how garbage the show was and how I should not be watching it. She is constantly analyzing everything and telling me how the world is going to end. I sware I go in my room for peace and I keep hearing her voice over and over in my head. I am only 4 days sober now but I have used twice since living here. I can not go back to my moms house because I do not get along with my step dad and there is too much fighting in the house. Am I stupid for letting this bother me so much..I am just really depressed and feel like i am losing my mind. I spend most of my time in my room thinking of the card I got dealt with. Im about to be 19 and feel like I am two years old when I am around them they treat me like a little baby. It is too much of an extreme from the life I was living. If they only knew half the **** that I did. I am going to meeting and seing a counseler but it is not helping much. I need to get a job but right now I think i need to get my addiction and anxiety under control. Im scared ******** im going to use again..and if I do im afraid I wont survive to do it again.

Don W

I understand the fustration you might feel now. However, sometimes withdrawal can make things feel worse. Sounds like you don't have a whole lot of choices. You must try and put things into perspective. Your battle is with your addiction. Sounds like they are providing a nicer place than many have to recover. Have you tried sitting down and talking to them? Hey, like I said, you have to pick and choose your battles. As an alcoholic, I can tell you I hated having someone tell me what to do. In my case I needed structure and consistancy. Make the best of it, get on your feet, it won't last forever and most of all, they must love you. Your perspective will change the longer your in recovery. Drinking, I was a child in an adult body. Listen and learn from them and remember you are safe. Don W

bikewench

Hey betterdayz..

Welcome to Sober Recovery...

Yeah... a person can feel pretty alone when the parents are AWOL in everything other than body...

I know Gram and Gramps can be a bit much... but... like Don said... your safe....

And as to using Gram and Gramps as the reason to use...
Well... ;o)

Sounds like you know what would be the beneficial things for you to do...
So now... you just gotta do them..

We will always find an excuse to use...
But.. we need to look harder for reasons not to...

Just gotta do one right thing after another....
And humoring Gram and Gramps can be one right thing to do..

It really helps to come and visit here... or it does me anyway...
And we have others your age on here as well.. so...
When things get bad... rather than use... just come tell all us
We'll all stay clean together.. ;o)

Good on ya for staying with the meetings... and staying connected to your sponsor..
More right things... ;o)

Praying for you...

bikerprincess

Welcome betterdaze,

Yeah I agree with everyone else here.
Our perception changes so much as you get more and more sober.
Hang in there, do what they ask.
Be grateful to be clean and alive today!!
Keep posting

Blessings
Anne