When They Are Now Sober?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2003
Location: opp,alabama
Posts: 4
When They Are Now Sober?
When They Are Now Sober?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
HI,I have not posted in quiet sometime. and i am not sure when to begin. i would like to start by telling alot of you, i have been where you are at with my recovered AH. But, now i am not sure where I belong.After, completing a one year program, my AH, has recovered how great that should be, right!? well, yes and no..After he completed the program he was told he could stay in aftercare, for as long as he wanted and could go to work at the center. Well, to make a long story short, that is exactly what he did and is doing.
all this time during his addiction and recovery i looked forward to the day, i would have my husband back, the man i married. But, i am not so sure now what is going on or if it is ever going to happen. I trully believe, the reason he descide to stay, is he is scared of the out side world area, have recovered in just such a program and have relasped, and are now in jail for a long time. But, now after alittle over 3 months of this, he has me, and that he means what he is saying.. " he wants a divorce" he will never be the man he use to be to me, and he loves me but not enough to stay in our marriage.
Now, i might add, ( i have heard this before during the drug days) but, more than that he is in a christian based program, that does not really believe anyone should divorce, but they understand in certain ways. My heart and yes i believe my lord and savior, does not agree with a divorce for this reason he has given. What that he is scared???? plus in a few weeks he has yet another court date in which they are pushing some prison term, for sure. he has yet to go to jail.before. Part, of me believes in jail, he may really change his mind on things as far as us. you see he has had it fairly easy so far, with just rehab, but jail time.. who knows??? one other thing even the divorce thing is totally his idea, he will not file for it himself, he wants me to do it... i guess so i can carry the sin on my shoulders? plus, no matter when i call him, unlike before, he always returns my calls, no matter what. strange i think...But, even now with him sober, he is still not that man i thought he would be, he seems so bitter... yes, he is sober.. but, happy with life.. i trully wonder...in fact, some think that he believes divorce with make his life happy again.. but, i think that something he can do only for himself with or without a divorce.. he and god can only make him happy.. you know..
your thoughts would be appreciated..
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
HI,I have not posted in quiet sometime. and i am not sure when to begin. i would like to start by telling alot of you, i have been where you are at with my recovered AH. But, now i am not sure where I belong.After, completing a one year program, my AH, has recovered how great that should be, right!? well, yes and no..After he completed the program he was told he could stay in aftercare, for as long as he wanted and could go to work at the center. Well, to make a long story short, that is exactly what he did and is doing.
all this time during his addiction and recovery i looked forward to the day, i would have my husband back, the man i married. But, i am not so sure now what is going on or if it is ever going to happen. I trully believe, the reason he descide to stay, is he is scared of the out side world area, have recovered in just such a program and have relasped, and are now in jail for a long time. But, now after alittle over 3 months of this, he has me, and that he means what he is saying.. " he wants a divorce" he will never be the man he use to be to me, and he loves me but not enough to stay in our marriage.
Now, i might add, ( i have heard this before during the drug days) but, more than that he is in a christian based program, that does not really believe anyone should divorce, but they understand in certain ways. My heart and yes i believe my lord and savior, does not agree with a divorce for this reason he has given. What that he is scared???? plus in a few weeks he has yet another court date in which they are pushing some prison term, for sure. he has yet to go to jail.before. Part, of me believes in jail, he may really change his mind on things as far as us. you see he has had it fairly easy so far, with just rehab, but jail time.. who knows??? one other thing even the divorce thing is totally his idea, he will not file for it himself, he wants me to do it... i guess so i can carry the sin on my shoulders? plus, no matter when i call him, unlike before, he always returns my calls, no matter what. strange i think...But, even now with him sober, he is still not that man i thought he would be, he seems so bitter... yes, he is sober.. but, happy with life.. i trully wonder...in fact, some think that he believes divorce with make his life happy again.. but, i think that something he can do only for himself with or without a divorce.. he and god can only make him happy.. you know..
your thoughts would be appreciated..
Member
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Los Angeles CA
Posts: 149
my husband was 2 or three months in to his sobriety, and told me he wanted a divorce, too- to me, it seemed out of the blue- he'd fallen in love with someone else, wants something new, is a new person now that he's sober-- but he wasn't sober-- he was lying, cheating, having an affair, being selfish, not helping-- and that's not sober behavior. i have heard the first year is rocky. i don't know what to think myself, but i am very sad because i love him and thought our marriage was important to both of us.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
