mishelly

Morning all, I have a question. Someone approached me yesterday about being their sponsor, this is the first time I've been asked this question. She said she has been watching and listening to me in meetings and she "wants what I have"...how do I know if I'm ready for this role?

chey1

Though I am new to this forum, I am not new to recovery. To answer your question, to which there really is no hard and fast certain time line for, you just need to have a strong recovery foundation and be willing to put forth a lot of time and effort into someone elses. You must be able to help support their recovery while still working your own. You must have a sponsor and talk this out with her. She will have a good idea of your foundation and abilities at this time and can give you an honest answer. If you are not ready to do this and you do it anyway because of pride and ego not meaning to do harm you could very well do harm just the same to both her recovery as well as your own. This is a very flattering thing to have someone ask of you and it can be a very big commitment depending on the people involved but it can be one of the most rewarding parts of service work that can be an adjunct to your recovery as well if you are ready...
Talk to your sponsor, take a look at your time constrants, and then make a decision. I would also consider how much clean time you have. Some say this isnt really relevant but I have found this is not necessarily always the case. Being a sponsor can be tough and for someone with less than 9 mons to a year of good clean time with a good program adding sponsorship could put unnecessary strain on a difficult time in a budding recovery phase.

Just my thoughts.. Good luck

Terri

michski

Have you done the steps? If you have and she wants what you have then it sounds to me like you are ready!. It is an honor to sponsor someone. It is an honor to pass on the gift. The sense of my own sobriety rang clear as a bell for me when I first sponsored. Remember that only they themselves carry the responsiblility for their own sobriety. It's great to be a friend but formost you must be a sponsor.

Good luck and congratulations on your sobriety!

mishelly

I did the steps the first time four years ago in Alanon, when I didn't think I was the one with the "problem"...currently working my way through them again, knowing/accepting that I am an alcoholic/addict and practicing all the rigorous honesty open-mindedness and willingness I can find in myself. I'm right in the middle of making amends now and have been doing some twelfth step work as well, taking meetings into our local treatment center and such. My sponsor has told me that she is really amazed at how well my recovery has been progressing and thinks I can do this sponsor thing and that it will be really good for me. I just want to make sure I can help, not hinder, the recovery of this potential sponsee...

michski

aww.. I'm sure you will help! Sharing our own experience, strength and hope is really all we can do. Just try and keep the relationship defined and don't blame yourself if she relapses. I structure my sponsees the way my sponsor structured our meetings, phone calls, etc. She learned from her sponsor who got it from her sponsor and thus a "family legacy" is continued. Good luck with all your endeavors!

mishelly

Thanks to both of ya for your input!